


Elaborate Daydream

by Little_Crickett



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ed and Eddy are morons, Edd is a cute virgin, Father-Daughter Relationship, Kevin and Edd are in love, Kevin has a daughter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 56,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8383030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Crickett/pseuds/Little_Crickett
Summary: Now adults, The Peach Creek Gang had gone their separate ways. Happy in their routines and floating through life until an unexpected knock on a random door turned everything around. Edd and Kevin couldn't have been more different in their youth but now that the smoke has settled on their teen years, maybe more will be revealed. Single Fatherhood and College AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hi, there. This is a very blatant Kevedd story. I'm a sucker for tough men with adorable daughters. I hope you guys enjoy this!

After high school things in Peach Creek had really settled down. Most of the cul-de-sac had gone their separate ways, which in its own fashion was a bittersweet notion. 

The Kanker Sisters had suckered three poor saps to wed them right out of high school and then moved away and began popping out their own trailer trash babies. 

Nazz was going to a local cosmetology school and was the top of her class. 

Rolf had gone back to his homeland with all the American knowledge he had acquired. He apparently lived with his Aunt and Uncle, teaching English to elementary students. 

Johnny was accepted into a university four hundred miles away. Studying what was anyone's guess.

Jimmy and Sarah were both freshman, attending the nearby university, both majoring in Theatre. The art of dramatics. The pair had a combined G.P.A of 9.2 in those studies. 

Ed had never quite wised up, though he did have an apparently good work ethic. So he went to work at the jawbreaker factory in his 11th grade year. He never graduated high school but was quickly climbing ranks to factory management.

Eddy, oddly enough, was  a sophomore majoring in business at the same university as Sarah and Jimmy. A perfect fit for him. 

Double-Dee graduated high school a year and a half before his comrades and was well into his third year of studies at the very same campus as his childhood allies, though he didn’t live on campus. Edd had carefully selected a nearby apartment where he could focus on his herbology and biology assignments in peace and quiet. A shower he didn’t have to wear flip flops in was just an included bonus. 

No one was ever too sure what happened to Kevin...right around his eighteenth birthday he seemingly disappeared…not that anybody was trying very hard to track him down.

Edd, who was currently sitting at his desk, was thinking briefly of his old friends. A framed picture of “The Ed’s" around their seventh grade year, was sitting on his desk shelf. He smiled as he looked at the youthful faces. Edd was typing up a quick email to Eddy who lived on campus. They didn’t share majors or even graduation years anymore, so though they attended the same school the 21 year old old friends hardly saw each other. Emails and texts were the primary way the duo connected now. And the occasional bar night which Eddy lived for and Edd dreaded. 

 

_ Dearest Eddy, _

_ Yes, I too heard that Ed is expecting his first child. Sometime in the winter months. We should visit him. I’ve only met his girlfriend once before, though she seems like a kind woman who can easily handle our Ed. Speaking of which, how is your romantic involvement? The same escapades I suspect. Dear friend, you really should dedicate more time in your studies than how to get young women into your bed. I do wish to have you join my company. Perhaps you could come over for a movie and pizza night sometime in the near future. _

_ Until then,  Warmest Regards, _

_ Edd (Double Dee) Sullivan _

 

After Edd had thoroughly proofread the email three times he sent it and then switched browsers to his online course.  This was his near final year of his undergraduate class load and he was taking an unrecommended sixteen credits. Four classes on the campus and two classes online.  It would have been an overwhelming load on anyone but a robot programed to learn and study fifteen hours a day. Or Edd. 

Currently,  Edd was deeply involved in the a project involving reading to plants. Shakespeare versus horror novels versus the newspaper versus trashy romance paperbacks. It was a simple enough project as the teacher had only assigned it as extra credit, and much to his dismay the plant being read the smut was growing at a very rapid rate. Edd was compiling that morning's data into an elaborate spreadsheet when a tiny knock came to his door.

 

“Oh, it’s probably the Super coming to see about the dishwasher.” Edd mumbled to himself. Since living alone with little human interaction Edd had begun talking to himself more and more. Edd quickly padded to the door and he did not find a two hundred pound man in mustard stained jeans and an overgrown beard. Instead, he found a tiny doll-like girl. Bright orange pigtails, light blue dress, wide brown eyes. No older than four or five.

 

“Excuse me sir. Would you like to buy a candy bar to help support my school?” Asked the small girl. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t eat many sweets. But I would be glad to donate to your school. Education is a most admirable cause. Just one moment.” Edd scurried back to his desk and grabbed his wallet. “Here is five dollars. But please, keep the candy bars.” 

 

“Julia,” A strong man’s voice came from the left side of the doorway where he was leaning out of sight. He came into a view and Edd’s breath caught like it would if you had seen a long dead ghost. A strong jaw, sharp green eyes, a shock of ginger hair. None other than Kevin Barr. “What do you need to say?” 

 

“Thank you, sir!” Julia said excitedly. “Daddy, look!” she held the money up to her... _ father.  _ “He gave me money but doesn’t need candy or nothing!” 

 

“So I saw.” Kevin put a gentle hand on Julia’s shoulder and looked at the male in the doorway. Tall, lanky, early twenties. Even with the age difference, Kevin knew those stellar blue eyes and chapped lips anywhere. “Hey, Double Dee. Long time no see.”

 

“L-likewise, Kevin.” Edd stuttered hurriedly. He felt himself shrinking back into a thirteen year old version of himself Suddenly the little girl beside his childhood bully began squirming and shifting her balance between her tiny feet. 

 

“Daddy, I gotta go.” She whined. “Too much chocolate milk.”

 

“Julia, why didn’t you go at McDonald’s?” Kevin held the tone of a much exasperated father. 

 

“Please, come in. You may use my facilities.” Edd moved to the side and with his instruction the tiny girl dashed to his restroom. Kevin stood awkwardly beside the couch.

 

“Nice place.” He said looking around the immaculate yet cozy home. 

 

“Thank you.” The two shared a very long awkward silence. “So, how have you been?”

 

“Busy.” Kevin chuckled. “I work at my uncle’s auto body shop. I’m raising a kindergartener by myself. So, I guess busy is the right way to put it. What about you?” Julia ran from the bathroom and then was quickly forced to return at the mention of her dirty hands.

 

“Oh, I’m a double major at the university. Biology and Herbology. I have this apartment. I work at the plant nursery on campus. I too am very busy.”

 

“Wow, Double Dork. Way to live up your twenties. Studying and plants.”

 

“You have a daughter, Kevin. That cannot leave you much social time to freely spend your youth.” Edd said pointedly. 

 

“Nah, it’s just a different kind of social time.” Kevin said. Julia ran out and Kevin scooped her up. Side by side, the resemblance was uncanny, though Julia’s chin was less pronounced and her ears stuck out less. Her brown eyes were warm to his sharp green, but both held a certain curiosity. Kevin and Edd just eyed each other for just a minute. Edd was chewing on his bottom lip nervously. Kevin couldn’t help but feel his eyes drawn to the cupid’s bow. 

 

“So, man. We should totally get lunch sometime. Catch up. I haven’t been out recently, other than parent teacher conferences.” Kevin offered half-heartedly as he and Julia were heading to leave.

 

“Oh, that sounds delightful.” Edd said eagerly. “How about...tomorrow afternoon?”

 

“Wow. Didn’t expect you to pounce on the offer.” Kevin laughed and saw Edd visibly recoil from embarrassment. “No, I mean. I’m not great company...so, I guess I can swing by here around one tomorrow? Catch up and shoot the shit about Peach Creek.” 

 

“Daddy, shit is a bad word.” Julia interjected.

 

“You’re right, Bluebird. Sorry.” Kevin laughed. “So, tomorrow at one.”

 

“Indeed, Kevin.”

 

“Sure, dweeb.” Kevin said and he and his young charge left Edd’s apartment. Once the door was safely locked and Edd felt secure once more. It was then he noticed that his heartbeat had noticeably increased and his cheeks were tinged with heat. “Well, I hope I’m not becoming ill.” 

 

Across town, early in the evening, Kevin sat in Nazz’s living room as she practiced styling hair on a styrofoam dummy head. Nazz was really the only one Kevin kept contact with after Julia came about. She was a perfect stand in mother for the half orphaned girl. 

 

“That thing really freaks me out.” Kevin complained as Nazz perfected a fishtail braid. 

 

“Shut up you whiner.” Nazz laughed. “I drew a face on it.”

 

“That makes it creepier! Just imagine that thing floating down the hall into your room at night.  _ Style my haaaaaaaair!!! Do my maaaaaakeuuuupp!  _ Creepy, man.” Kevin grumbled and took another sip of his beer. Julia had fallen asleep in Nazz’s comfy chair watching irritating educational princess cartoons. 

 

“You’re such a wuss.” Nazz playfully shoved Kevin. “So how were candy sales today?”

 

“Sold five. Ate three.” Kevin took another long drink of his beer. “Ran into Edd.”

 

“Which one?” 

 

“The only tolerable one.”

 

“Oh,  _ that  _ one.” Nazz said knowingly. 

 

“What do you mean  _ that  _ one. There is no  _ that  _ one.” Kevin became suddenly very defensive. 

 

“Double Dweeb. He’s a sweetheart and you’ve had the hots for him since your big coming out.”

 

“There was no big coming out!” Kevin growled loudly, but keeping it low as not to wake the child.

 

“I know, big man. That’s the joke here. Only like three people know. I’m like, two of them.” 

 

“How do you count as two?”

 

“My good mood and my bad mood.” She shrugged. “Either way, what happened with  _ that  _ Edd?”

 

“Stop saying it like that you heinous bitch.” Kevin said without malice. 

 

“Stop meaning it like that you stupid hoe.” Nazz deadpanned and tied off her fishtail. “What do you think?”

 

“I’ve been fishing many times and none of the fish I have caught have ever looked like that. Anyways, Julia went pee in his bathroom. We’re going to lunch tomorrow at one. We sold another candy bar. Now we’re here.” 

 

“You asked him out?” Nazz’s interest was suddenly peaked. 

 

Right around freshman year Kevin noticed that he didn’t have much interest in the people of Nazz’s gender. Sure, they were cute but nothing to get it up over. His mom assured him he came from a long line of late bloomers and Kevin was just stressed from football and school and basketball. As high school wore on Kevin still remained single and uninterested in the female persuasion. Nazz noticed too. In a purely best friend experiment the two had sex their senior year. Sure, it was okay. But once again, Nothing much happened to Kevin. After a seven week meltdown of Kevin thinking his cock was broken, Nazz pretty much told him he was gay. To which Kevin just said “oh.” 

Peach Creek didn’t have a surplus of gay men for 18 year old Kevin to look up to so he just kept it to himself and worked it out on his own. Sure enough, it was all adding up. Even when enjoying porn he lost wood when a very generously chested girl would thrust on screen. Something most online forums said was normal. Normal for queers apparently. Kevin quietly told his mom, who didn’t seem too surprised or bothered, just offered him a slice of cake. He offhandedly told his dad who turned a furious shade of scarlet and locked himself in the workshed for two weeks, only muttering nonsense like “didn’t raise no nancy boy” or “shit, my son’s cock sucker”. Kevin’s dad eventually came around but only to subjects like the weather, sports, or their german shepherd Zeus. Other than his immediate family, and Nazz, no one knew Kevin’s sexual identity. Not that it was any of their damn business. 

 

“I didn’t ask him out.” Kevin snapped. “We are going to lunch to talk about Peach Creek and shit like that.”

 

“This is a big deal. This is your first date….like ever.” Nazz put down the styrofoam head and looked at her best friend. “I’m so proud of you!”

 

“Oh, shut it woman. Get me another beer.” Kevin forced his voice gruff. Nazz giggled and flounced into the kitchen.

 

“Kevvy’s got a date with Double Dweeb!” She sang as she grabbed him another beer from the fridge. 

 

“Shut up!” he hollered at her but he had an idiotic grin plastered on his face. 

  
  


The next day at noon Edd was pacing around his living quarters. Though Kevin had asked him to lunch in a purely friendly fashion, probably to clear his conscious of all his misdeeds of their shared youth, Edd found himself quite the nervous wreck. His heartbeat was increased, he felt clammy and sweaty, nearly about to pass out.

 

“I really need to pick up vitamins from the pharmacy. I do not want to fall ill.” Edd muttered to himself as the only reasonable conclusion to his body’s actions. He had opted for his black jeans and a casual blue t-shirt, but that felt too underdressed. So he switched it to a white button down but added Converse sneakers for the perfect mix of casual and presentable. Edd no longer wore his trademark hat, but it was always resting on his bathroom counter for reassurance. Linus from the Peanuts gang had his blankie and as Edd grew up with his hooligans from Peach Creek, he had his stocking cap. Being an anti-social, bean pole, geek apparently wasn’t enough of a jackpot so genetics helped out by tossing in two long silver streaks on either side of his head. After being called SunkButt through kindergarten and first grade Edd adopted the hat and didn’t take it off until a year or two prior to his outing with Kevin. Now, after a morning pep talk each day that he was not a SkunkButt, Edd allowed his hair to fall to his shoulders. 

 

Around 12:45 Edd began to panic. Perhaps this was just one last prank the ginger decided to pull on an Ed(d). Kevin had never intended to show up and was sitting at home laughing at how clever it was to ask Edd for his company when he had no means of appearing. At 12:55, just as Edd launched into a full anxiety attack, Kevin knocked on the door. Ripped jeans, a white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and a bright red ball cap twisted backwards. He knocked on the door and it flung open. 

 

“Greetings, Kevin.” Edd was breathless but relieved his company for the afternoon had showed up. Edd looked at the muscular man across his threshold, no longer the wiry bully from his neighbourhood or the lanky but muscular young man from high school. No, this version of adult Kevin had strong arms and ginger stubble and one, two...no, four visible tattoos. The most noticeable was the word Bluebird in curly blue script with the tiny silhouette of a bird resting in the curve of the “U” on his right bicep. It was beautiful artwork and though Edd had no desire to tattoo his own flesh, he did admire it on others. 

 

“Hey, Double Dee.” Kevin said casually as he sized up the man in front of him. Edd wasn’t scrawny anymore and it seemed that dirty sock he wore on his head had finally hit the hamper. His hair fell to his shoulders, it looked soft and well cared for. Bizarre white/silver streaks of hair stood out among the jet black. It was peculiar and attractive, suiting to the peculiar and attractive man it belonged to. His eyes were so wide and so blue they nearly looked haunted, like something out of a horror movie. Edd had shot up in height when Kevin wasn’t around though the lanky gentleman was still two or three inches shorter than Kevin.

 

“So, where shall we go for lunch? I know of a lovely little cafe just down the road from here. Their roast beef sandwiches are exquisite.”

 

“Sure. I didn’t really have anything in mind.” Kevin moved out of the doorway and Edd locked and relocked his door. The two walked in silence to the cafe. In fact they didn’t speak until they had placed their drink orders. 

 

“Julia is a lovely little girl.” Edd said finally, figuring his daughter was a safe topic. 

 

“I like to think so.” Kevin agreed. 

 

“When did you conceive her? Oh, um! I mean, I didn’t even know you were dating anyone and then you seemed to cease existing and you said you were raising her alone, so I was just curious as to…” Edd babbled rapidly.  Kevin chuckled and put a hand on Edd’s to make him stop talking.

 

“Dude, chill.” Kevin glanced down at his hand covering Edd’s and quickly removed it. “Technically speaking, Julia isn’t mine.” 

 

“Pardon?” Edd stirred his straw around in his ice tea and his other hand had found shelter in his lap. He felt pink tinge his face after the surprising physical contact. 

 

“She’s actually my cousin’s daughter. My cousin Amanda and I were super close growing up and she got pregnant in my junior year of high school. Her boyfriend split but she kept Julia and made me godfather. Shortly after Julia’s first birthday, Amanda was killed by a drunk driver. Well, Julia was technically my godchild and even though everyone tried to get me to give her up, I decided to do what any self respecting man would do and keep her and make her mine.” Kevin took a drink of his cola and realized he had freaked Edd out entirely. The two resumed their silence for a moment. 

 

“Wow, that is not a great story to tell over a casual lunch. I’m sorry, man. I should have just said  _ yes, my daughter is lovely, _ and left it at that.” Kevin chuckled awkwardly. 

 

“Oh, no Kevin. It is I who is sorry. To lose such an important family member and become a legal guardian at such a young age. It is quite amazing what a large heart you have.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugged. “I was kind of a punk when we were younger.”

 

“We all were, Kevin.” Edd chuckled. “We all were.” 

 

After the lengthy dead cousin stories ended the rest of the lunch went swimmingly and the men even agreed to do it again later on. Kevin walked Edd back to his apartment and then realized he had gone well over his lunch break at the auto shop. 

 

When he appeared at the shop’s office his Uncle Rudy was hunched over payroll paperwork. He spun and looked at Kevin with the same warm brown eyes his daughter and granddaughter had. The Irish roots ran strong on Kevin’s dad’s side, so of course his Uncle Rudy had the same ginger tresses. 

 

“What’s the news, son?” Rudy asked in a thick deep voice. Rudy was ending his fifth decade of life and his joints and heart wasn’t what they used to be. He didn’t work so much in the shop anymore as much as he did in the office, hunched over invoices and order forms. 

 

“Not much, went out to lunch with someone, which is why I’m late. They have the Cougar up on the rack now and the Prius is humming like a bird.” Kevin updated. 

 

“That’s good. That’s real good. How was lunch?”

 

“Pretty good. Got you a sandwich.” Kevin dropped a white styrofoam box in front of his uncle. “Small fries but no coke. Doc says you need to cut back on sugar and sodium.”

 

“Damn the doc. What does he know.” Rudy muttered as he bit into the hot ham and cheese. “Thanks for lunch, Kev. Who was the date? Pretty young thing?” 

 

“I guess.” Kevin chuckled and sunk into the chair adjacent to his uncle. “Just an old friend, really. No big deal.”

 

“No big deal. You never go out, kid. Other than the park with Julia. Do I get to meet this pretty friend?” Rudy’s wife had told him about their nephews sexuality but Rudy was a man of old fashioned times. Though he didn’t react in negligence or violence, he mostly omitted it. Kevin didn’t entirely mind this. 

  
“Nah, man. Shut up and eat your fries. I’ve gotta go see a man about a motor.” He stood back up, set a light kiss on his uncle’s head, and left the small overheated office. Kevin spent the rest of the day elbow deep in grease and oil but couldn’t shake a set of blue eyes out of his head. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, when evening was casting long shadows, Edd was in the humid greenhouse on the university campus. He was tending to the tropical plants, the ones he loved the most. Orange, red, purple, and blue flowers drooped from sleepy vines. Firm and spiny cactus like plants rested in scattered pots. Flowering vines twisted their way up trellis’, aching for sunlight that seeped in the tinted glass. In the back room of the greenhouse were medium sized trees that sported papayas, guavas, and coffee beans. These were Edd’s babies. Each bucket where the tree was rooted had a nametag that read “Hi, My Name Is” . The other greenhouse assistants chuckled at Edd’s naming tendencies, but left the name tags alone out of respect for their more educated peer. 

 

The house was muggy and the air clung to Edd’s shirt and pants. His black hair was tied in a low ponytail at the base of his neck. Edd wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and scribbled notes about Quinn the Papaya Tree in his notebook. 

 

“What beautiful blossoms, Quinn. Yes, you must be fruiting in the near future.” Edd mumbled. 

 

“Who are you talking to?” a female voice asked. Edd spun around and saw a young woman staring at him.

 

“Oh, Quinn. My papaya tree. May I inquire as to who you are?” 

 

“I’m Maya. I’m new to the university. Just kind of wandered out here.” Maya reached out and touched a leaf on an aloe plant named Tyler. 

 

“Ah, pleased to meet your acquaintance Maya. I am Edd Vincent.” 

 

“Hi, Edd.” Maya held out her hand and Edd shook it. “So, what do you do out here?” 

 

“Take care of the plants. Many of these I’ve grown since they were little seeds in a baggie.” Edd boasted.

 

“That’s very impressive, Mr. Vincent.” Maya complemented and looked around the beautiful greenhouse. “Some very gorgeous plants are in here.” 

 

“Yes, I concur.” Edd turned back around and began scribbling notes in his notebook about Peter the Guava Tree. Maya took the hint and turned around to leave but before she could another man burst into the greenhouse, nearly toppling her over. 

 

“Double Dee! I thought I’d find you out here, you plant geek.”  the excited man called to his friend. Edd turned around and smiled. 

 

“Eddy, good to see you. What brings you to my corner of the campus? You never wish to see my plants.” 

“I still don’t. But you’ve got to come out tonight. We’ve got Ed! His girlfriend went home to visit her mom and he text me and we’re going out tonight! Gonna get shitfaced before he becomes a dad.” Eddy paused long enough to notice the stunning brunette standing beside a table. “Who’s the cutie?”

 

“My name is Maya and I would like it if you didn’t address me by anything but my name.” 

 

“Oh, well, hi Maya. I’m Eddy. Edd’s more interesting and exciting best friend.” Eddy said smoothly with an overly confidant wink. 

 

“You two are friends?” Maya asked skeptically. Edd, the man with glasses resting on his nose, apron tied neatly around his waist, notebook with carefully diagrams etched inside could not possibly be close to the boisterous man with three piercings in each ear, jeans that hung too low, and what could only be described as a napoleon complex. 

 

“Oh, most definitely. Since childhood. Eddy and our comrade Ed and myself made up a decent part of our neighborhood.” Edd described. 

 

“Ed, Edd, and Eddy.” Maya said with a smile. “Your parents were not the most creative in that neighborhood I guess.”

 

“Well, actually in our shared year of birth, Edward was one of the most common male names. Our individual sets of parents were merely following naming trends for that time. The three of us becoming such close friends was just a humorous happenstance.” Edd explained accurately.  

“Yeah, freakin’ hilarious. Are you coming or not?” Eddy demanded. “You can come too, Maya.” 

 

“I’m gonna pass. It was nice meeting you Edd. And...you too, Eddy.” Maya exited leaving the two Edds in the greenhouse together. 

 

“Damn, she’s fine.” Eddy let out a low whistle. “A bit hot to the touch but bet I can cool her down.”

 

“Hmm, I hadn’t noticed immediately. But I supposed Miss Maya is aesthetically pleasing.”  Edd put his notebook down on a table and hung his apron on a hook. 

 

“Do you even have a dick, man? I mean, she’s smoking! Ten out of ten would recommend to a friend! In fact...I don’t think I’ve ever seen you check out a girl. That’s my goal tonight! Going to get you laid! Let’s ride!” Eddy grabbed his friend’s hand and dragged Edd out of the greenhouse before he could object. 

 

It was nine thirty pm in the Barr household and Kevin had tucked his little carrot top into bed a while before. His mom was in the kitchen clattering around after cleaning up their family dinner. Rudy and his wife Ann had left an hour earlier. Kevin’s dad had something suddenly come up and couldn’t make it to his son’s home for their weekly family dinner. Again. For the seventh week in a row. Kevin sat on the couch with his laptop perched on the arm of the sofa. He was mindlessly scrolling social media and passively telling his mom she didn’t have to clean his kitchen. 

 

“Kevin you should go out. It’s Friday night. You’re a handsome young man. Leave the house!” Robin Barr shouted into the living room.

 

“Julia.” Kevin muttered and liked the status of a person he hardly knew. 

 

“Oh my! Kevin...I have totally forgotten.” She walked into the living room, drying a bowl with a towel. “You need to remind me. Did I run a daycare for fifteen years? Oh lord, did I keep you and your twelve best friends alive? Damn, have I helped you raise that beautiful little girl for the last four years? Or was that someone else? Shoo, now. I can keep an ear out for a sleeping child for a few hours.”

 

“Moooom.” Kevin whined. 

 

“Kevin Martin. Get out of this house! I want to watch my shows that I’ve kept on your TiVo.” Kevin’s mom yanked her son off the couch and after a little more coaxing Kevin was in his car heading god knew where. The only bar near Peach Creek was a little dive hole just outside town and cleverly titled Peach Pit. It was fifteen minutes to Peach Pit and at nearly ten at night the parking lot was packed with cars and stragglers stumbling around and fondling in the backs of cars. Kevin parked his car far away from the clusterfuck of people who might scratch or throw up on it. Jamming his keys in his pockets he huffed and hoped Nazz would show up soon. He had called her from the car and she seemed rather eager to join him. 

As he ambled in he heard the brash and off key wailings of Victory Vikings. The bar was pretty packed with a decent mix of the sober and the shitfaced. Kevin slid into a sticky seat at the bar and ordered a Jack and Coke. A drink Kevin discovered he loved around the same time his father stopped using more than five words to speak with him. Kevin spun around and scanned the room. With Peach Creek not being a very populated place, he recognized several faces. It seemed like the Kanker Trio had gotten babysitters, or eaten the kids, and were slamming darts into a corkboard target. Kevin made a mental note to avoid that quadrant of the bar. Around the pool table were large burly men who seemed to be hustling a game of pool. Kevin took a sip of his drink and cursed the band for being so loud and sucking so hard.

 

“Shit, I’m a fucking grandpa.” He grumbled to himself. Kevin turned back around to the bar and looked up at the tv, thankful a hockey game was being aired. The subtitles were lagging but he had the main idea of what was going on at that point in the game. 

 

“Hey, cutie.” a female voice rang in her ears but he didn’t look away from the grainy tv. 

 

“Sorry, miss. Kind of here alone on purpose tonight.” Kevin said and took another sip of his drink.

 

“Jesus, Kevin. Get off your cross. We need the wood.”  The girl laughed and got into the chair beside Kevin. She ordered a strawberry margarita and mozzarella sticks.

 

“Hey, Nazz. Glad you could make it to this shit hole.”

 

“Yeah. This place was a lot cooler when we were 18. Remember that summer before Julia? We would come here like every Friday and stumble home around five in the morning, telling your mom you had food poisoning.”

 

“She so didn’t believe us. But we were clever as hell.”

 

“Or so we thought.” Nazz chuckled. 

 

“Or so we thought.” Kevin clinked his glass to hers. “Thanks for coming out tonight. Mom evicted me from my home.”

 

“Bitter much? It’s not a problem. My boyfriend said it was okay. Oh, wait. I live alone and have two cats.” 

 

“That’s sad. You’re sad.” 

 

“It’s not like you have a boyfriend either!” 

 

“I don’t want one. I have enough going on right now. You on the other hand feel empty unless you have a man in your life.”

 

“That is so not true. Good night, bad night, Kevin. It’s too early to drunk fight like the bitches we are.” Nazz took a large gulp of her margarita and nibbled her deep fried cheese. “Hey, look who’s here.”

 

“The Kanker’s? Yeah, I already know.”

 

“No, The Ed’s. Haven’t seen them in a while. Let’s go say hi.” Nazz jumped up and dragged Kevin before he could say no. The three friends were in a booth playing a sad little game of Quarters. Ed was nearly drunk and Eddy was pretty far gone. Edd, who was reading a textbook, was apparently the designated driver to his slobbering posse. 

 

“Hey, guys!” Nazz said cheerfully. 

 

“Hey! It’s Nazz! Look it’s Nazz! From home! Hi, Nazz!” Ed said far too loudly and happily. 

 

“Howdy, Nazz. Fancy meetin’ you here.” Eddy tipped his invisible cowboy hat.

 

“Apparently,” Double Dee sighed whilst turning a page in Biology for Life. “Eddy turns into a cowboy when intoxicated.”

 

“Apparently.” Kevin deadpanned. 

 

“Ya’ll can have a seat and play us in a game of quarters.” Eddy offered. 

 

“I’m winning! I’m the best at quarters and Eddy is the best at drinking. You should play.” Ed said excitedly.

 

“No, thanks.” Kevin muttered, glancing at the phone on his clock. 1045, could he 

go home yet without his mom pitching a fit? “Nazz, I’m gonna step out front. Call my mom. Check in.”

 

“Sure, man.” Nazz shrugged and slid in the booth beside Eddy. Kevin stepped his way carefully to the exit. The air outside, though still warm and muggy from being early September, was so much cooler than inside. It helped clear Kevin’s head. He sat down on the sidewalk and found a lighter on the ground. He flicked it and the tiny flame danced about. 

 

Kevin started smoking when he was fifteen. He got a job as a busboy at a local restaurant to help him pay for baseball and basketball camp. He would work ten hour shifts and the only time he got a break was when the manager opened the backdoor for smokers to get their nicotine fix. He used to just stand out there for a small break but it wasn’t long before someone offered Kevin a cigarette and he was an official smoker. He only smoked a pack a week so it didn’t interfere with his sports performance too much but it did make him reek. Which Nazz and his Amanda loved to bitch about. His dad wringed his neck when he found out but didn’t force him to quit out of hatred for hypocrisy. Kevin’s dad started smoking himself when he was twelve. 

 

It was after work one day when he got the call. Kevin was out back smoking with his co-workers when Uncle Rudy’s name flashed on the screen. 

 

“Hey, Rudy. What’s up?”

 

“Amanda’s in labor! Come on, boy! Get to St. Gabriels and meet your cousin’s baby. The baby’s coming.” His uncle’s voice was hurried and excited. The voice of a nervous new grandpa whose only child was in labor. 

 

“I’m on my way! Tell her to hold it in!”

 

“I don’t think it works like that but I’ll try. She’s having a baby, Kevin!”

 

“Hell yeah!” Kevin clicked off, put out his cigarette and jumped on his motorcycle. A beautiful 1992 Harley Davidson that was eventually traded in for a sensible 2001 Sedan. He made it to St. Gabriels Birthing Center in record time, the roads were empty at 11:35 at night and he sped on the bike the whole way. He cracked ninety at his top speed. Kevin loved the cool wind on his skin and the way the slight rain stung on his cheeks. His heart was racing and his mind was spinning. Outside the hospital the 17 year old lit up a cigarette and took a few calming puffs. He went upstairs and found his entire family in the lobby. Nazz was blowing up his phone begging for updates. His dad was reading an outdoors magazine, his mom was talking to Rudy and Ann was pacing by the double doors. Kevin went up to his Aunt Ann.

 

“Oh, sweetie you made it!” Ann said and wrapped her nephew in a hug. 

 

“I rushed as soon as I heard. How is she?”

 

“She’s getting close! The doctor is examining her now.” 

 

“Do we know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

 

“Not yet, Mandy is really trying to keep it a surprise. I know your uncle wants a little boy. She says she’ll name him Rudy.”

 

“That’s sweet.” 

 

“She’s ready to push. She says she wants her mom.” A doctor had just entered the waiting room to bring Aunt Ann back. “Oh, and a Mr. Kevin...Umm, BoogerHead.” the doctor was trying not to laugh as the boy in front of him turned a brilliant shade of pink. 

 

“Ann, you didn’t say she wanted me in the room.”

 

“I didn’t know, dear. You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.” His aunt grabbed hand and squeezed. The high school boy shook his head and squeezed his Aunt’s hand. 

 

“Let’s go birth us a baby.” Kevin said with a very small smile. 

An hour and so much screaming later, the room was dark and Kevin was holding a tiny squirmy pink bundle in his arms. Not that it was ever mentioned again but Kevin did throw up mid-labor. Julia Winter Barr, first daughter to Amanda Stephanie Barr. Little brown eyed, red haired niece to Kevin Martin Barr.

 

“You did so good, PoopBrain.” Kevin told his cousin, who was lying on her side to watch her cousin hold her newborn daughter. “She’s gorgeous.”

 

“You didn’t do so bad yourself, BoogerHead. Thanks for coaching me.” 

 

“Thanks for calling me a  _ dick weasel who has never felt true pain.  _ Means a lot.” he looked up and stuck his tongue out at her. “Nazz says congrats. She’s going to come by tomorrow and see you.”

 

“Awesome. So, Kev. I wanted to ask you something. You can totally say no. But I wanted to make you godfather. I don’t want my parents to be godparents because they’re already so old and have raised their kid. They don’t need another. And I know you’ll love her like I do.”

 

“Of course. But you’re not going to die, so knock it off. I’m pretty sure, after what I saw tonight, you are a satanic creature who cannot be killed.” 

 

“Agreed. A favorite character of mine once said, fire cannot kill a dragon. I feel it applies here. Now, give me my baby.” Amanda reached for Julia and kissed her cousin on the cheek. 

 

The following weeks Amanda and Nazz began cracking down on Kevin’s nasty habit. He wasn’t allowed to smoke when he was visiting and he had to change clothes and wash his hands before even touching Julia. It was beginning to wear on him and one day he decided to buy a box of nicotine patches instead of another pack of cigarettes. He was completely smoke-free by the time Julia was five months old. 

  
  


“Penny for your thoughts, Kevin?” a soft mellow voice cracked Kevin’s mental flashback.

 

“Huh, oh. Hey, Double D. Have a seat.” He invited Edd to sit on the curb beside him. “Why did you come out here?”

 

“You’ve been outside for a long while. And my comrades are rather intoxicated so I thought I would join you on this cool evening. I didn’t think I would see you.”

 

“When? Tonight.”

 

“Yes. You said yourself you don’t go out.”

 

“Yeah, I guess not. This isn’t really my scene. It doesn’t have any bright colors, princesses, or Spiderman.” 

 

“Spiderman?”

 

“Yeah, my kid inexplicably loves Spiderman. I think she’s going to need a spiderman costume for halloween.” 

 

“That’s very cute. The Peach Pit really isn’t my  _ scene _ either. Ed and Eddy pulled me out here to celebrate Ed becoming a father. Though the prospect of him being in charge of a small humans life is absolutely terrifying.” he paused and looked at Kevin. Kevin turned his head and looked at Edd. Edd’s heart hovered into his throat and Kevin’s lips quirked upwards, making his green eyes shimmer.

 

“It’s very good to see you again, Kevin.” Edd said quietly. 

  
“You wanna get out of here Double Dweeb? I know a place that makes a mean cup of coffee and the best cherry pie this side of midnight.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind reviews! I know this is a really strange fic but I'm loving writing it and I hope you are loving reading it. :D

It was two am and Edd was still sitting across from Kevin in a 24 hour diner. Kevin who had an easy smile, kind eyes that widened and glittered when he talked about cars or sports or Julia. Kevin Barr who ran his large hands through his ginger hair, unintentionally flexing his bicep that made Edd’s lower stomach clench with unknown anxiety. Kevin who was sipping coffee and taking large bites of the pie he and Edd were splitting. His long legs took up a majority of the space under the booth. Kevin who’s lips were being licked raw by his own nervous tongue. Every couple of moments Kevin took his tongue and swiped it across his pink mouth. Edd felt like he was perched on top of a roller coaster and his stomach was fluttering like his cart was about to plummet down into a double loop. 

 

It was two am and Kevin was still getting weirdly lost inside of Edd’s endless ocean eyes. Edd whose raven hair fell in waves to his shoulder, hair that Kevin wanted to bury his fingers in. Edd whose voice would get excited as he talked about plants and cells and fertilizer. Edd who would nibble on his lips and his fingernails, out of nervous excitement. Kevin had been with two men, both one night stands from blind dates set up by Nazz. But never in his history with men, or even humans, had he felt this way when he looked at someone. Or had someone look at him. His head was dizzy and his crotch was tightening. Kevin just wanted to reach out and touch Edd just to make sure he was there. Edd without knowing it, wanted to be touched. 

 

“Oh, man. It’s so late….” Kevin groaned. “Julia gets up early every day and my mom is at my house. I need to get home.” 

 

“Oh, my. I cannot believe I have stayed out this late into the evening...or early into the morning.” Edd agreed, he felt slightly guilty about abandoning his rigid sleep schedule. 

 

“Um, why don’t we wrap it up here...and I’ll walk you home. You don’t live far from here, if I remember right.” Kevin suggested. 

 

“Sounds excellent, Kevin.” Edd said. Kevin paid the bill, leaving a generous tip that impressed Edd. The two men left the diner and into the streets. The warm September air had chilled and Kevin noticed the slim man beside him shivering. Kevin yanked off his Rudy’s Auto Shop sweatshirt and offered it to Edd.

 

“Oh, I couldn’t, Kevin. I’m okay, Honestly.” Edd tried to decline but the larger man just laughed.

 

“Dork, you’re shivering so hard it’s causing earth tremors. Just take it.” Kevin argued and jammed the sweatshirt over his friend’s head. Edd wriggled his arms inside of the sleeves and the sweatshirt swallowed him. “You look like a little kid, playing dress up. You’re so cute.” Kevin laughed and Edd’s face turned scarlet.  _ Cute. Had Kevin Barr just called me cute? I didn’t know Kevin knew the word cute. Am I...cute? No one has ever said that to me before.  _

“Thank you.” Edd finally decided on saying, his voice barely above a whisper. 

 

“Yeah,” Kevin muttered, feeling suddenly very bashful. 

 

“I’ve had such an enjoyable evening. I wasn’t expecting to have fun. I didn’t even think I would see you again.” 

 

“Well, we did say we wanted to see each other again.”

 

“I just figured that was a formality as you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” Edd said.

 

“No.” Kevin paused and took a very deep breath. “Actually, Edd. I like you.”

 

“Excuse me?” Edd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. The were actually only a few steps outside of Edd’s apartment complex. Kevin stood a healthy distance from Edd, who was now gripping the cuffs of the sweatshirt in his hands, like a small nervous child.

 

“I like you. I think I might have always have. I dunno, man.” Kevin was losing confidence as he progressed. “Maybe not as little kids...but in high school, yeah. You were smart and sweet and cute...and still are. I was a big jackass and never told you and then it was...too late to tell you.”

 

“Oh,” Edd gasped. “Oh, my.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Edd. I didn’t mean to come on to you. I have a kid...I pretty much kidnapped you from a bar. You have so much going for you and well, I’m me.” Kevin shrugged uselessly.  

 

“I didn’t know, Kevin. As Ed says, ‘If it didn’t happen in a book Edd doesn’t notice’.” I don’t have much experience in this department. What if I liked you too? What would happen next?” Edd was looking at the ground but then back up at Kevin. Edd’s cheeks were on fire. Kevin smirked with gentle humor.

 

“Oh, uh. I don’t know. Would you consider...going out with me? Like, on maybe a real date?” Kevin offered. Secretly, he was pleased that he was smarter than Edd, if only at this one thing. 

 

“I would find that enjoyable. I do like...you. Quite a lot, in fact.” 

 

“Okay...I’ll text you.” Kevin grabbed his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Edd who quickly plugged in his number. 

 

“What happens now?” Edd’s eyes were wide with anticipation and anxiety.

 

“Could I kiss you goodnight? Would you want me to?” Kevin had never been the leader. The guys he went out on dates with guys very comfortable with their sexuality. They led, forcefully at times. Dinner, sex, morning after and no further contact.

 

“I don’t know. I’ve never had a kiss before. I don’t know how to say goodnight...like that.” Edd murmured.

 

“Never had a kiss? I’m honored to be the first.” Kevin’s voice was just about a whisper. He stepped a little closer to the trembling man. Edd nodded slowly. Kevin wrapped his arm around Edd’s waist and pulled him in. He took a strand of Edd’s soft black hair and tucked it behind his ear. Kevin lightly placed his lips on Edd’s. Edd froze momentarily but then reciprocated, lips parting slightly. Allowing Kevin to deepen. Kevin kept his tongue in his mouth but lightly nipped at his partner’s lower lip. This shocked Edd who quickly pulled away. 

 

“That’s en-enough for tonight, K-Kevin.” The stutter from his youth reappeared. “P-please text m-m-me so we can further our engagement.” Edd stepped back from Kevin and went up the stairs to his complex front door. “Was this a d-date?”

 

“I think so, Dweeb. I’ll text you in the morning. Goodnight.” Kevin said easily and he turned to walk back to his car at the diner, a few blocks away. As he reached his car his phone began jingling with a call from Nazz.

 

“Yo, Kevin! Where did you go?” Her voice was loud. She was drunk. 

 

“I took Edd to get something to eat. We talked.” 

 

“Awww! That’s so fucking cute!” Nazz giggled. Kevin couldn’t hear bar sounds in the background.

 

“Nazz are you okay? You need me to come get you?” Kevin was worried she would try to drive. 

 

“Nope! Went home with Eddy. He called a magic yellow car.”

 

“A taxi?”

 

“Taxi! We are in his room. Eddy and me are in Eddy’s room. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re alright.”

 

“I’m okay, Nazz. Go to sleep but don’t sleep with Eddy.”

 

“Don’t sleep with, Eddy. Got it. Goodnight, Kevvy!” she sang and the line went dead. Kevin got in the car and noticed Dweeb had left his textbook in the car. Who the hell brings homework to a bar? Edd, that’s who. Kevin laughed and drove home, finding his mom asleep on his sofa. 

 

“Ma, I’m home.” He gently shook his mom and she stirred. Kevin sat down on the opposite end of the couch and began gently kneading his mom’s foot. 

 

“Sweetie, hi. What time is it?” She yawned.

 

“Late. It’s almost three. I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to stay out so late.”

 

“Well, you sound sober so I’m happy. Who did you meet?” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Baby boy, you only stay out this late if you’ve met someone or gone to a party or sleeping at Nazz’s until you can get home safe. So, who did you meet?” His mother was very matter of fact. A mother who truly knew her son. 

 

“No one. I’ve known him for awhile. We just went to eat at a diner. We talked. It was nice.” Kevin switched to the other foot and his mom groaned appreciatively. 

 

“Can I meet him?” Mrs. Barr asked.

 

“No.” Kevin said seriously. “I’ve gotta get to bed. Stinker will wake me up in about four hours. If I’m lucky. Thank you so much for tonight, mama. You can stay here tonight if you’d like.” Kevin got up and kissed his mom goodnight.

 

“Okay, son. I love you.” 

 

In his room Kevin stripped everything off and as he was about to crawl into bed he stopped and looked at himself in the mirror. His abdomen muscles weren’t as defined as they once were but they were still noticeable. His legs were long and lean, thick with muscle. He turned to the side and saw Amanda’s name written in beautiful purple script down his calf with the shadow of an elephant holding its trunk to the sky, her favorite animal. Bluebird on his bicep, Amanda on his calf. A celtic cross on his right shoulder. A green three leafed clover on his ribs, right below his left nipple. His fifth and final tattoo was something his mom told him the day he came out. Carefully inked on his right hip bone where it melted into pelvis. Somewhere very private where only he usually saw.  _ To thine own self be true.  _ It was very small, black, and an orderly typewriter font. Sometimes he ran his hand over the ink and it made him feel a little better. 

 

His mom really didn’t like all the tattoos he had but each one made him feel closer to who he was supposed to be. Each one was important to him. His daughter’s beautiful nickname, a tribute to his cousin and best friend, the cross was his heritage, the clover was his new beginning that St. Patrick’s night when Amanda left the world, and his life motto where no one could see.

 

Kevin slipped into a pair of clean boxers and crawled into bed. Julia had left one of her Teddy Bears in his bed and he wrapped his arms around it. The room beside him his daughter was sleeping quietly. In the living room his mother had fallen back asleep. Kevin was on his way to dreamland as well. 

 

Across Peach Creek, Edd had just stepped out of the shower. The dirty bar. The dirty diner. He felt filthy. He dressed his slender body in a blue pajama set and ran a brush through his thick wet hair. He crawled into bed and pulled the comforter up to his chest. He plugged in his phone and was ready to sleep, until he remembered something. Edd left the bed and padded over to his hamper. Underneath his pants, socks, and shirt was Kevin’s sweatshirt. Edd held it to his nose. His first kiss was with his childhood antagonist. And it was amazing. The sweatshirt smelled like Kevin Barr. A light cologne. Laundry detergent. And a little bit of just….Kevin. Edd took the hoodie and crawled back into bed. He wrapped his body around the hoodie and remained curled with it until his alarm went off in the morning. 

 

“Daddy!” a little girl’s voice shrieked as she ran into her father’s room. Kevin was sprawled out on top of the covers, drool on the pillow, and a soft black bear still in his fist. Julia jumped on top of her father who “oofed” under her. 

 

“Good morning, Bluebird.” he yawned and rolled over. Glancing at the cable box clock it read 8:15 in the morning. “You let me sleep in.”

 

“Yupp. You look really tired, Daddy.” The newly turned five year old reached out and touched a dark circle under her dad’s eye. 

 

“I was out late after you went to sleep. Is NaNa out there?” Kevin reached for the remote that was somewhere on his night table. He flicked on the TV and it was already on the kids channel that Julia loved and Kevin tolerated. 

 

“Mmm, nope! Just me. Yay, Mickey Mouse!” Julia chanted and curled up next to her father, whose eyes were already drooping shut. His mom must have gone home earlier. Kevin grabbed his phone from under his pillow. He had a new snapchat from Nazz. It was a picture of her wearing a man’s shirt with her short blonde hair sticking up at all angles. The caption in the gray bar was “Oops…”

 

“Fucking, Nazz.” Kevin sighed. 

 

“Fuck is a bad word.” Julia reminded.

 

“Sorry, baby.” He kissed her red bed head and she snuggled closer into his bare chest. Kevin text his best friend with shame.

 

**Kevin: So you slept with Eddy**

 

**_Nazz: Mmm...maybe_ **

 

**Kevin: Was it at least good?**

 

**_Nazz: I dont remember. I remember...drinking and pizza and kissing…_ **

 

**Kevin: Gross.**

 

**Nazz: I’m an adult who makes adult choices sometimes. Anyways didnt you sleep with Edd???**

 

**Kevin: No. Why are you awake?**

 

**_Nazz: Walk of shame starts early on Saturday morning. Taxi back to my car at the bar. Now home. Shower….I feel gross._ **

 

**Kevin: You are gross.**

 

**_Nazz: ;) kiss J for me._ **

 

Kevin slobbered a wet kiss on his daughter’s cheek. 

 

“Daddy! Gross! What was that for! Yuck!” she wiped the spit from her face and smiled up at her dad.

 

“Aunt Nazz wanted me to give you a good morning kiss.” 

 

“Where is Auntie Nazz? I miss her!”

 

“She’s going for an early morning walk. You saw her two days ago.”

 

“I still miss her.” Julia shrugged. Kevin looked at the clock, it was hardly 8:40 and he wondered if Edd was awake yet, or if it was still too early. Most normal humans weren’t awake at this hour on a Saturday. Most humans who weren’t Edd. 

 

Despite his fatigue, Edd got up when his alarm sounded at seven sharp. He contemplated sleeping in, just this once, but then decided that he had thrown off his schedule enough last night. Edd made himself toast and sliced fruit and milk for breakfast, a very balanced and healthy meal. He watched the morning news and then logged into his online classes. Edd pretended he wasn’t eagerly awaiting a text from a certain Mr. Barr, but he wasn’t convincing even himself. Every five minutes he checked his phone, lying and saying he was checking the time. Truth be told, he couldn’t get the kiss out of his head. 

 

Edd had never allowed himself to be close to another human. His parents had taught him that physical affection was vastly unnecessary to maintain relationships. Kevin, in a simple five second kiss, had shattered that original notion. In a matter of twelve hours, Edd had changed a major part of his philosophy. He wanted to kiss Kevin in all of the ways possible, take notes on how they felt and what they did to him. He wanted to let someone embrace him and kiss him and perhaps even further than that. These very loud thoughts caused Edd to blush and instinctively he reached up to tug his hat down over his eyes. Unfortunately, his hat was not on his head. It was on his counter. Edd scooted to the bathroom to retrieve his hat and brush his teeth after breakfast. When he returned to his desk, his phone was glowing with a text message notification. 

 

**(779) 555-6663: Morning Dweeb.**

 

“Eep.” An involuntary sound escaped Edd’s throat. Quickly, he added Kevin’s number to his short list of contacts and responded. Not even humoring the notion of waiting before responding, as to not seem overly eager. 

 

**Edd: Salutations, Kevin. How did you sleep?**

 

**_Kevin: Eh. Good enough. Julia woke me up bright and early. You?_ **

 

**Edd: After a shower I slept quite well. I am still in possession of your sweatshirt, Kevin.**

 

**_Kevin: Keep it. :) I don’t need it. So guess what happened last night._ **

 

**Edd: I have no idea. You did not give me any hints.**

 

**_Kevin: Nazz and Eddy slept together._ **

 

**Edd: Good lord! Oh, my.**

 

**_Kevin: zbhtrzajga}bednik j u l i a GAEHO23_ **

 

**_Kevin: 2111169ghbes JULIA WINTER BARR vambds_ **

 

**_Kevin: kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk000000000000000_ **

 

**Edd: I’m sorry, Kevin. I do not understand your coding system.**

 

**_Kevin: LMFAO Double Dweeb. It wasnt a code. My kid decided she wanted to show me she can type her name. I was phone jacked._ **

 

**Edd: Oh, that makes much more sense.**

 

**_Kevin: Hey I gotta go make breakfast for Bluebird. Time to get up. Ill call you later. ttys :)_ **

 

**Edd: Alright. Until later, then.**

 

Kevin put his phone back on the night table and pushed Julia out of bed. He had the grin of chimp on his face. Edd was even Edd when he texted. Very formal, all the punctuation, so adorable. Kevin got out of bed and threw a t-shirt on.

 

“Daddy, why are you so happy?” 

 

“Because you’re finally out of my bed. For someone so little you take up a bunch of space.” Kevin teased. 

 

“I do not! You’re so giant you take all the bed!” she giggled and ran from the room. 

 

“It’s my bed! I can take up all the room I want!” Kevin went after his nightgown clad princess. After deciding on Fruit Loops and chocolate milk, the pair sat in front of the TV and watched more cartoons. 

 

The day dragged along and the exhausted Kevin did everything he could to keep up with Julia. She was bouncing around the house and the backyard and her room. Saturday to kids was friday to adults. Minus the hangover and bad decisions. 

 

“Julia, go clean your room.” Kevin shouted around three in the afternoon. He was lying on the couch watching an episode of Sofia the First for the third time. 

 

“Why?” she whined from where she was building a rather impressive block tower. 

 

“Because I told you so. Now, go. Or I’ll donate all your dolls to little girls who actually do what their fathers say.” 

 

“Okay! I’m going! Don’t touch my dolls!” she leaped up and went to her room. 

 

Kevin groaned and stretched out on the couch, turning off the tv. He knew she wasn’t cleaning her room, but at least she was quiet. Kevin pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly texted his mom another thank you. He checked social media and sports teams updates. Nazz was presumably asleep, like any normal 21 year old would be. He sighed and looked at his living room. Blocks, dress up clothes, stuffies, DVDs of the cartoon persuasion and not the pornography genre. He was a dad. He’s been a dad for three and a half years. Some days were easier than others. Santa and easter bunny and playgrounds were infinitely easier than teething and doctors offices and night terrors. Days like today made him briefly wish he could have just gotten shitfaced last night and slept until one in the afternoon and consumed an unhealthy amount of Taco Bell. Nearly his entire family told him not to adopt the thirteen month old Julia after her mother’s fateful accident. Rudy and Ann swore up and down they could raise her just fine. But Kevin couldn’t live with himself had he abandoned that baby girl the way her biological father had.  Even at eighteen he knew what he had to do. And when she looked at him with those big brown eyes and uneven smile, he knew was was doing the best thing in the world. 

It was three thirty in the afternoon and Edd was washing his laundry in facilities the apartment provided. It had been a slow day and he had just loaded his whites into the washing machine when his phone began to chime from his pocket.  

 

“Hello, this is Eddward.” Edd answered. 

 

“Hi, Eddward. It’s Kevin.” Kevin laughed at the very formal greeting. 

 

“Oh! How do you do?”

 

“I’m okay. Tired as hell. What about you?”

 

“Rather fatigued as well. I might indulge in an afternoon nap.” Edd without noticing it was smiling very broadly at the husky sound of Kevin’s voice. 

 

“Not a bad idea.” Kevin yawned to make his point. “Well, about that date.”

 

“I’m sorry?” 

 

“A date. I said I wanted to take you out. For real. Not to a dirty bar and then a follow up at a tiny cafe.”

 

“I understand the concept, Kevin. What about the date itself?”

 

“How about Tuesday night? Aunt Ann and Uncle Rudy usually take Julia on Tuesdays. I could pick you up. Go out to dinner. Movie. I don’t know. What about it?”

 

“Sounds...delightful.” Edd breathed lightly. 

 

“Okay, so, six sound alright?” 

 

“Daaaaaaadddyyyy!” Julia’s voice wailed. “Where is my ballerina tutu?” 

 

“Didn’t you leave it at Nazz’s?” Kevin called back. 

 

“Nu-uh!”

 

“Then I dunno, squirt. Hey, Double Dee. I’ve gotta go. My break is over. I’ll see you Tuesday at six. Bye.”

 

“Goodbye, Kevin.” 

 

Edd put the phone back in his pocket and was feeling his face become quite feverish. He was eagerly anticipating their date. Edd’s very first date. What does one wear on a first date?

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy. Hey, trigger warning also. The mean F word to describe gay men is used. Also, smut. Consent is sexy.

Tuesday afternoon rolled around in the Barr household. Julia was at school and it was Kevin’s day off. After school Julia was being picked up by Rudy and Ann and not delivered until later in the evening. They did dinner and bath and got her home around nine so she could just jump right into bed. That afternoon Kevin was sprawled out on the couch, dozing in and out, with his hand in a bag of doritos. Tuesday was one of the days he had totally to himself, and he used it wisely. No pants. College sports channel. Naps. And if the day permitted laundry and dishes. 

 

As he fell asleep, in his dream was met with raven hair and piercing ice eyes. Lanky limbs wrapped around him with pale lips and teeth nipping at collar bones…

 

“Kevin let me in!” he woke up to pounding on the front door. “It’s Nazz.”

 

“It’s open, Nazz.” Kevin grunted and pushed himself into sitting position. She burst into the living room and plopped down on the couch across from him, dropping her hefty backpack on the coffee table. 

 

“Yikes, Kev. Nice tent.” she said, dubiously eyeing the peeking in his boxers. Kevin hastily grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over his lap. 

 

“Thanks, Nazz.” he grumbled. 

 

“Hey, hey, hey. No need to be embarrassed I’ve seen you naked.”

 

“An experience I’m still trying to bleach from my mind. What do you need?”

 

“I’m kind of bored. And I need to study. And I missed you.” Nazz reached for the remote and flipped channels. 

 

“Yo, this is my one day off! I don’t want to waste it Keeping Up with Anyone!” he yanked the remote away from her. Nazz huffed and rolled her eyes. 

"Isn't tonight your big date?" She asked. 

 

"Yeah, but not until later." Kevin responded as he tried to flip it back to his original channel. 

 

"Are you nervous?"

 

"Why should I be?" 

 

"Not only is this your first date with Edd. This is your first time dating a man whom I did not set you up with off of Craigslist." Nazz said calmly and folded her legs under her. 

 

"What? Donny and Roger came off Craigslist? They could have killed me, Nazz!"  Kevin shouted and threw a couch pillow at Nazz's head. 

 

"But did they?" She said pointedly. "I have a date too..." 

 

"Oh? With who?" Kevin left the couch and went to a basket of laundry next to the hallway. He grabbed a t-shirt and wiggled into a pair of jeans. 

 

"Um, Eddy." Nazz found a fraying string on the couch and picked at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

 

"So, you guys had a drunken screw...and now you're dating?" Kevin carried the basket of laundry to the coffee table. He began sorting through tiny shirts and leggings and mismatched socks while waiting for Nazz to pipe up about her newest affair. 

 

"Not in so many words. After I left his dorm we started texting. And talking on the phone. And other stuff. And he just asked me out..."

 

"On a Tuesday night?" Kevin muttered and matched a kitty sweater to a pair of purple tights. 

 

"He has midterms to study for. This is the only night he is totally free. He has study group on Wednesday and Friday. Thursday he has something else...and he is staying with his parents for the weekend. So Tuesday."

 

"Eddy has a study group? Eddy is studying for midterms? You hate Eddy!" 

 

"No, Kevin. You hate Eddy. And to be fair you hate twelve year old Eddy. Not twenty one year old business major Eddy who has a 3.0 GPA." Nazz defended. 

 

"I hate Eddy." Kevin grumbled. 

 

"You used to hate Edd too. We've grown up Kev, let the hatred go." Nazz said with a small smile.

 

"He better not try anything." 

 

"He's already touched my fun bits. Not much else he could try." 

 

"What the hell, Nazz. Didn't need the visual. Anyways, I mean he better not make you cry." 

 

"Or what? You'll give him a knuckle sandwich and ride off on your bike with his jawbreaker money?" Nazz teased. 

 

"Shut up." Kevin laughed. He shook his head and thought back on all the years they had spent together. Not just Nazz and him but the Eds and all of the cul-de-sac. They really were a tiny clan growing up, now it seemed like everyone had changed but he supposed that was really just a nasty side effect of becoming an adult. 

 

At seven o' clock sharp Kevin knocked on Edd's door. He was wearing his nicest jeans and a white button down shirt. He had shaved and even taken off his baseball cap. He was quite handsome, if he did say so himself. The door swung open and there was Edd. Stunning as ever. Black slacks, a purple and green sweater, thin wire glasses framing his eyes of ice. His hair was tied back loosely. Kevin’s heart skipped a beat and his brain went foggy. 

 

"Greetings, Kevin." Edd said quietly. "Is that for me?" 

 

"Uh, yeah." Kevin gave the single sunflower to Edd who ushered Kevin into his home. "I remember you said you like sunflowers." 

 

"It is most beautiful. Thank you greatly." Edd was placing the flower in water in a simple glass. "Are you ready?" 

 

"Definitely." Kevin grinned and held out his hand for Edd to grasp. Hesitantly, he did and the two walked hand in hand to Kevin’s car parked below. The pair didn't speak much on the way to the restaurant, both their hearts were racing too fast to allow for words. 

 

"Do you like Mexican food?" Kevin asked after about five minutes of silence. 

 

"Very much so. I do enjoy enchiladas" Edd said enthusiastically. 

 

"Well, that's good. I know a great place. Tortilla Flats. It's a small place but it's food is to die for. Chips and salsa is a staple." 

 

"I'm looking forward to it." Edd looked over at Kevin and smiled broadly. Kevin’s stomach fluttered and he reached over and grasped Edd's hand. Kevin pulled in front of a small Mexican restaurant with colorful lights strung up near the windows and doors. Bubbly music drifted out to the parking lot. They walked in and were seated immediately. The hostess dropped off salsa and chips, explaining that their server would be right with them. 

 

"You look great." Kevin said as he dipped a chip into the salsa. 

 

"Really? I was rather unsure." Edd tugged at the neck of his sweater. "I'm glad you like it. You look quite dashing as well." 

 

Kevin was running small circles on Edd's hand with his thumb. It was a small gesture that sent Edd's head into a foggy spiral. 

 

"Hi, I'm Jayme. I'll be your server." Jayme was a small brunette girl in her late teens wearing a dainty silver cross necklace. The young woman's bright smile faltered when she saw the men holding hands. "What do you want?" Her chipper tone transferred to a dark grumble. 

 

"Um, I'd like a Corona." Kevin hesitated, trying to gauge if he had done something to wrong Miss Jayme. "Edd, you would probably like a strawberry Margarita."

 

"Yes, I suppose that sounds fine. I would like ice water also, please." Edd's voice was stronger than Kevin's. He wasn't much of a drinker. Any time he had consumed alcohol it lowered is rational thinking and resulted in somewhat regrettable behavior.

 

"Fine. You need anything to eat tonight?"  She snapped. 

 

"We're still looking, thanks." Kevin turned his voice cold in an instant. His entire demeanour had changed so quickly it slightly frightened Edd.

 

"Okay." Jayme stomped off but before she was completely gone they overheard her snap at the hostess. "Dammit, Lillian. You sat me a gay couple."

 

"At least they're cute." Lillian said back while wiping down glasses. Neither girl was trying to conceal their conversation.

 

"Whatever. They're fags." Jayme huffed and stormed back to the kitchen. 

 

"Oh, dear." Edd mumbled. "Maybe we should go somewhere else." 

 

"No, I'm not going to be chased off. I want to have a damn dinner without being fucking bullied by a five foot girl who deems herself decider of what is right. " Kevin practically growled. Jayme came by and dropped their drinks harshly on the table without a word. 

 

A half hour later Kevin and Edd were in the parking lot leaning against the car. Kevin was still fuming, red in the face and smoke billowing out the ears. Jayme was monosyllabic and rude whenever she approached the table. Even going as far to spill Edd's ice water all over the table and himself. Though she swore it was an accident, neither man believed it. Edd had quieted down after Jayme took their orders and chastised Edd for requesting no onions due to his allergies. 

 

"The food was good." Edd said very quietly. 

 

"Sure," Kevin sighed. He put an arm around Edd's waist and tugged him closer. Edd stiffened but allowed Kevin to run his fingers through his dark hair as he rested his head on Kevin's shoulder. "I'm sorry." 

 

"For what?" 

 

"I dunno. Being a dick all dinner. Not exactly how I wanted our first date to go. But that Jayme. She was just such....a twat." 

 

"All is forgiven, Kevin. Worry not." Edd shrugged. Though he had never had a boyfriend or lover of any kind, Edd’s sexuality was never hidden. It seemed that Edd exuded adversity. He was used to the different treatment. Peach Creek was a small sheltered town and being gay was not widely supported. Jayme might have been very outspoken about her views but Edd learned long ago to tune the bullies out. 

 

"So, do you want to go catch our movie?" 

 

"No." Edd said. He pulled away from Kevin and looked into those green eyes. 

 

"....no?" Kevin's heart dropped. Was the date that bad? Was this over before it began? 

 

"Why don't we...go back to your house?" Edd whispered. Call it drunken courage. The one Strawberry Margarita had definitely gone to his head. 

 

"Oh. Okay, then." Kevin laughed and opened the car door for Edd. Kevin slid in and started the car. "This is pretty sudden." 

 

"Yss, I suppose it is." Edd's face was turning an unusual shade of pink. “I find myself not wanting the company of anyone but you. Certainly not an entire cinema.”

 

"So, what do you want to do at my house?" 

 

"I don't know. Netflix has a fascinating documentary on black whales..." 

 

"Or?" Kevin said slowly. He cautiously placed a hand on Edd's knee. 

 

"Or...I don't know..." Edd's voice was shaking and quiet. He had never been so bold before. Not once had he ever done something without measuring all the pros and cons and calculating each step. He didn't know what was going to happen...and he found that exhilarating. The spot on his knee where Kevin's hand was was on fire, his skin tingling. Edd couldn't take his eyes off that giant hand that encompassed his entire kneecap. 

 

"That documentary sounds interesting." Kevin recovered, seeing how timid Edd had become. 

 

"Oh, it is indeed." 

 

"And we can watch the whole thing uninterrupted. Julia is with her grandparents until later." 

 

"That sounds delightful." Edd whispered. His heart was pounding in his ears. Kevin removed his hand from Edd's knee and white knuckled the steering wheel, trying not to speed back to his home. 

 

Ten tense minutes later Kevin parked in his driveway and the two went into the humble  house. 

 

"This is a lovely home you have." Edd complimented as he took his shoes off at the front door.

 

"Thanks. It was Amanda's originally. I couldn't find it in me to part with it. After all, Julia already called this her home. So, I just moved in." Kevin went into the kitchen, leaving Edd to inspect family pictures hung carefully on the walls. "You want a drink? We have purple Kool-Aid, iced tea, milk."

 

"Water is fine for me, thank you." Edd said. He joined Kevin in the kitchen. Kevin handed him a glass of water. "Julia is a remarkably beautiful young girl." 

 

"Yeah, I like to think so. She knows it too. I'm worried about high school." Kevin laughed and poured himself a glass of purple kool-aid. 

 

"I understand." Edd chuckled. The two were quiet for some time before Edd finally spoke up. "So, that documentary." 

 

"Uh, yeah. We can watch it out here. Let me boot up the XBOX." Kevin put his and Edd's glasses in the sink and led Edd to the couch. Edd sat on one side and watched as Kevin got the system ready and loaded up Netflix. Kevin selected the documentary that was recommended by Edd and then sat back on the couch. 

 

Sparks nearly lit the couch on fire. The two men were staring straight ahead at the television but weren't taking in any of the words or pictures. Both were rigid and uncomfortable, wanting to do something but unsure of what. Edd tried to casually place his hand in between in the two of them and without hesitating Kevin grasped it. Edd's heart had all but stopped beating when Kevin scooted closer and "casually" put his other arm around the back of the couch. After three or so minutes Kevin dropped the arm down to Edd's small shoulders. Kevin couldn't help but notice how...dainty, Edd was. Small, petite, itsy if you will. Slender shoulders that ought to have been bony and sharp, actually fit perfectly into Kevin's side. Kevin was rubbing small circles on Edd's shoulder and playing with his fingers. Piano player's fingers, long and slender. How would those slender fingers looked around his thick...

 

"Kevin?" Edd's voice cracked Kevin's dirty daydream. Could he read minds?

 

"Uh, yeah? You want me to back off?" Kevin said quickly. 

 

"No no no! Actually...I was wondering if..." He trailed off, not looking Kevin in the eyes.

 

"Come on, dweeb. Spit it out." Kevin teased.

 

"Would you kiss me, please? If it's not look too much to ask." 

 

"Jesus, double dork." Kevin lost it and doubled over laughing. "You're so cute. You don't have to ask! You could have just done it." 

 

"I didn't want to impose."

 

"Impose? Geez. Just...shut up." Kevin's heart had calmed down and he was leaning closer to Edd who was using all of his humanly control not to run away. "Just follow what I do. And if you want to stop just tell me." Kevin's voice was husky and he was so close Edd could smell that light cologne that made him lose common sense. 

 

Kevin gently placed his lips on Edd's but this time Edd didn't freeze. His kissed back. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but after that first date Edd went online to study some kissing techniques from reliable sources such as Seventeen and Teen People. Kevin pressed a little harder and placed his hand on the back of Edd's head, his fingers getting lost in midnight waves. 

 

Edd allowed the harder kiss and ever so slightly parted parted his lips, allowing Kevin deeper access. Kevin took the hint and slowly slipped his tongue into his partner’s mouth. Gently the two tongues tangled and mouths moved in sync. Kevin nipped at Edd's lower lip, this time Edd moaned appreciatively instead of running away.

The partners split and rested their foreheads against each other. Edd could only form thoughts in a zig zag pattern. He reached up and touched Kevin's face.

“You have freckles. I didn't notice before.” Edd breathed.

 

“I have them almost everywhere.” Kevin laughed lightly. “Side effect of being a redhead. I hated them when I was younger.”

 

“I think they're charming.” Edd said as he closed the gap and kissed Kevin again. Kevin pushed Edd back on the couch and slowly crept on top of him.

 

"Okay?" He asked. 

 

"Okay." The smaller man confirmed. Kevin settled his left knee in between Edd's thighs and the right knee was on the outside. He buried his hands in Edd's hair and suckled his neck. Edd grabbed the back of Kevin’s t-shirt and groaned. He had never felt anything like this before. It felt so good it nearly hurt. He had erections before but never one that pressed against his pants in an agonizing manner like this. Usually, there was little correlation between his erections and arousal. Edd didn't feel the need to explore pornography and would only pleasure himself out of frustration or necessity. This erection was purest form of cause and effect. Kevin’s heavy body crouched on his and breathing hotly in his ear, directly affected Edd's usually neglected dick. 

 

Kevin lightly nipped at the pale skin surrounding Edd's collar bone and ground his denim clad erection against Edd's thigh, desperate for some friction. Kevin groaned and Edd's hands wandered down Kevin's strong back and under his shirt. Kevin removed his hands from Edd's hair and sat up. He pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it on the floor. Kevin's hands went down to Edd's belt. 

 

"You good?" He asked before proceeding. 

 

"Yeah," Edd whispered. 

 

"Actually, let's go to the bedroom. Come on, babe." Kevin clambered off Edd and couch and held his hand out for Edd to take. Edd took the hand and was guided back to the bedroom. Once there Kevin shut the door and grabbed Edd's face roughly before kissing him deeply. The kiss continued as Kevin fumbled blindly with Edd's pants. Finally the pants dropped to the floor and Edd was left standing in just his black boxer briefs. 

 

"Can I?" Kevin asked, cautiously dipping his thumbs in the snug elastic band. 

 

"Y-yes." Edd moaned as Kevin's lips trailed from mouth to jaw to neck to collar bones. Kevin dropped to his knees and slowly tugged the underwear down. Edd's cock sprang free, thankful to be out of its cage. It was thick and long, pale pink. Uncircumcised, which surprised Kevin. He inhaled deeply and his own dick was begging for attention. Edd looked down at the handsome redhead whose mouth was closing in on his most private of anatomy. 

 

"O-Oh my.." Edd groaned as Kevin's lips closed around the head of his cock. One hand was on his balls and the other was wrapped around the head of his cock, tongue teasing his foreskin in ways unimaginable. Kevin was amazed at how great it felt to have Edd's thick dick in his mouth. Edd's precum was like nectar on his tastebuds. He had achieved perfect rhythm, feeling Edd's ballsack tighten and hearing Edd moan loudly. 

 

"Good god, Kevin." Edd groaned and dug his hands into Kevin's hair. Kevin reached down and unbuttoned his own pants, trying to ease the growing strain. The warm lips around Edd's manhood were seconds from finishing him off when both men heard something that halted all action. 

 

"Daddy! Where are you daddy?" Julia's tiny voice signaled her early arrival. 

 

"Shit. Fuck. Damn." Kevin reared back and muttered curses. He got to his feet and kissed Edd hastily on the lips. "I'm sorry, babe. This is is my life. Hold on, princess! I'm coming." Kevin left the room and Edd slowly pulled up his underwear. 

 

"So was I." Edd muttered but not out of bitterness. More out of shock.

 

Kevin walked out into the living room, shirtless with skewed hair and pants unbuttoned. Ann was standing by the couch with Julia's backpack in hand and sly smirk on her face. 

 

"Daddy!" Julia squealed and Kevin picked his daughter up. Hugging her tightly, but not dare kissing her. 

 

"Hi, Bluebird. Why are you home so early? It's only eight. Wasn't expecting you for another hour." Kevin gave a pointed glare to his Aunt Ann.

 

"Gramps is sick." Julia explained. 

 

"I didn't want her catching whatever Rudy has so I went ahead and brought her over here. I hope we weren't interrupting anything." Ann said. She had a sly smile on her face, like the cat who ate the canary. 

 

"Hey, kiddo. Why don't you go to the bathroom. Get ready for a bath." 

 

"Alright!" Julia climbed down her father and dashed to the bathroom. 

 

"So?" Ann was practically bursting with laughter. 

 

"So....I had a date...well, have a date. He's still back there." Kevin muttered and looked at his bare feet like a scolded school child. 

 

"Oh my god, Kevin. You can't just keep that man trapped in your room. He's not a box turtle. Go get him." Ann demanded. 

 

"Yes, Aunt Ann." Kevin sighed and went to fetch Edd. Edd was already perfectly composed and looked like none of the last half hour had happened. Kevin dragged Edd to the living room.

 

"Hello." Edd blushed, praying Kevin didn't tell this woman the activities they were participating in. 

 

"Aunt Ann. This is Edd. My....date." Kevin introduced. Edd and Ann shook hands. 

 

"It's great to meet you. Now I fear, must be going. Your Uncle Rudy is such a baby when he is sick." She kissed Kevin on the cheek, yelled goodbye to Julia, and left. Kevin slumped on the couch and Edd sat down as well. 

 

"I understand if you don't want a second date." Kevin sighed. "My life is a little too crazy for romance and intimacy and extended periods of alone time." 

 

"I actually could get used to the craziness." Edd smiled and kissed Kevin's temple. "I enjoyed myself quite a lot." 

 

"I can't take you home now..." Kevin reminded. 

 

"No worries. I can use your laptop computer in the bedroom while you prepare Julia for bed. After you take her to school in the morning you can drop me off at my apartment. That is if you would like me to stay the night." Edd said brazenly. 

  
"I insist, Double Dweeb." Kevin laughed and kissed Edd.  


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with my delayed updates. Between being a mom and college student I barely have any time! Well, hope you enjoy this... :D

It was Saturday evening Kevin was lying on his back under Nazz’s car. Nazz was sitting on the ground beside him making a flower crown for Julia who was climbing up a nearby tree. Nazz usually came over Saturday afternoons and stayed all day. Being only 21 Nazz found herself floating through life, unsure of what she wanted to do or who she wanted to be. But she knew when she was around Julia and Kevin, she felt grounded. Like she knew where she belonged. Neither of them would judge her for going to cosmetology school or not being in a stable relationship for more than six months at a time. No, when Nazz was with them she felt peaceful. The only thing they cared about was what was for dinner or what to watch on Netflix.

 

“Good lord, lady. You need to change your oil more often.” Kevin complained as he shimmed out from under the old Mazda. He put a drip pan under the car and let the dirty oil drain out. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. But why spend thirty bucks on it somewhere else when I have you to do it for free.” Nazz teased. “So, what happened Tuesday?” 

 

“Tuesday?” Kevin muttered passively, wiping his hands on his jeans. The white t-shirt he was wearing was stained from years of grime, grit, and oil. His jeans had rips and tears. Kevin looked like a dingy cover model for some car magazine. 

 

“Yeah, you’re big date. How did it go?”

 

“Um. Decent, I guess. I don’t really know.” Kevin shrugged and sat down next to Nazz. “We came home after dinner and started making out. Julia came home from the grandparents. He slept on the couch. Told Julia he was an old friend. Dropped him off at his apartment after she was at school. Haven’t heard from him since. Easy come, easy go.” 

 

“Yikes, that sucks.” Nazz rested her head on his shoulder. 

 

“Whatever.” 

 

“Maybe he’s just shy, Kev. He wasn’t ever exactly Mr. Confidant. ” 

 

“Again, whatever.” Kevin repeated, this time a little gruffer. He shoved Nazz off and stood up again. “Julia, what do you want for dinner?” he shouted across the front yard. Julia was hanging upside down from a tree branch.

 

“Chicken nuggets!”  the small girl hollered in return. Kevin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. The kid ate like a heathen and his mother never let him forget it.

 

“No. You’ve had that three times this week.” 

 

“Corn dogs!” 

 

“You need fruit, dammit!” Kevin snapped. 

 

“Corn dogs and strawberries!” Julia shot back and dropped from the tree. She jogged over to Kevin and Nazz. 

 

“I’m the adult, you know. I make the decisions” Kevin said to deaf ears. 

 

“Yeah, I know daddy.” Julia shrugged and sat in Nazz’s lap. “Two corn dogs please. Really hungry.” 

 

“Fine,” Kevin grumbled and slammed into the house, vowing to finish Nazz’s car later. 

 

Kevin felt like the date had gone fine. After Julia went to bed things cooled down exponentially. The courage Edd had summoned from his earlier margarita had faded. Now he was thinking carefully and rationally. They actually watched that documentary on Netflix and Kevin struggled to stay awake. Which Edd pointed out was endearing. When Kevin tried to fire things back up with a passionate kiss, Edd pushed him away. He deemed it too inappropriate for a first date, especially when Julia was sleeping only a few feet away. Edd kindly requested a blanket and slept on the couch. The next morning Edd made himself scarce and only offered polite smiles and small sentences to Julia and Kevin. When Kevin dropped Edd off at his apartment Edd once again brushed off Kevin’s kiss and went inside with only the vague promise of a text later on. 

 

That was four days ago, not to Kevin’s lack of trying. He sent several text messages and unanswered phone calls. Edd however reciprocated none of the affection. While Kevin was dealing with the cold shoulder Nazz wouldn’t shut up about how amazing things were going with Eddy. Kevin was still looking for a kind way to tell his best friend to shut the fuck up.  

 

Across town Edd was sitting in his apartment with Eddy who also wouldn’t shut up about Nazz. Eddy was shooting up Zombies on the Xbox while Edd read beside him. The best way they knew how to bond. 

 

“Dude, you’re being weirdly quiet. Like, freaky quiet.” Eddy finally commented. 

 

“I apologize, Eddy. I do not have much to add to your conversation about Nazz or her...physical attributes.” Edd mumbled. 

 

“God, I would hope not.” Eddy barked out a laugh. “What’s going on with you Double Dee? You haven’t even told me how repulsive this game is, yet. I’m literally playing as a dead hooker in a thong killing other dead things.” 

 

“I figured it went without saying.” Edd sighed and shut his book. “What would you like me to tell you?” 

 

“I dunno. I don’t want to have a girly heart-to-heart about anything.” Eddy scoffed. 

 

“Agreed.” Edd rose from the couch and went to get himself a glass of juice. Eddy paused the game and took a deep breath. Addressing issues calmly and rationally wasn’t exactly his forte. But he knew he had to approach this slowly or Edd would frantically run off like a deer being shot at. 

 

“I know you’re banging Kevin.” Eddy shouted with all the tact of a blunt child. 

 

“Eddy, w-what on Earth are you t-talking about? Good lord.” Edd’s hand was shaking, sloshing his juice every which way. 

 

“Okay, so that’s not how I wanted to out you. But seriously. There’s not exactly a hallmark card for _congratulations on fucking our childhood nemesis_ . Nazz told me. Not sure why you didn’t tell me. But whatever, doesn’t matter. Is this why you’re acting so weird?”

 

“I still don’t believe I’m acting inordinately.” Edd muttered and sat in his desk chair while Eddy stood with his arms crossed in the living room. 

 

“Dude,” Eddy groaned. “If you’re gay. Just say it. I don’t care.” 

 

“We went on one date.” Edd sighed.  

 

“And now you’re freaking out.” 

 

“That is a highly subjective and immeasurable term. But yes, I would say I am  _ freaking  _ out. Kevin is very experienced and complex. He has his own life. Who am I to intrude upon his carefully created routine?” 

 

“Holy shit. Pity party, reservations for one.” Eddy snapped. 

 

“Pardon?” Edd looked at his comrade with a quivering bottom lip. 

 

“You always stand in the way of your own fucking happiness. You block yourself off and don’t let anybody in. You make bullshit excuses to blow people off. You’re going to die alone with forty two cats. If it weren’t for my charming persistence you would have no social life at all.” 

 

“Eddy, I do not think you should be speaking to me in such a crude manner. It is not like your personal life is faring any better.” Edd rose to his feet and was staring down at Eddy. 

“Oh, but it is. I go out. I have fun. I have beautiful women begging to be with me. I’m living my life because I’m not afraid of failure. That’s been your issue since second grade, Sockhead. You’re so afraid of being a failure that you don’t let yourself even try.” 

 

“That’s not fair, Eddy. Do you remember all the adventures we went on in our childhood?” 

 

“Yeah, I remember you being our clean-up crew and voice of reason. And I remember you always being ready to say I-Told-You-So.” Eddy closed the distance between him and Edd. Eddy had this bizarre way he would expand like an irritated Puffer Fish when he was angry. It seemed he took up twice the mass he usually did.  

 

“Let’s be honest. If it weren’t for me around, you and Ed would have died in our youth.” Edd snarled but never left his calm demeanor, like a snake hidden in the grass. “Someone has to be the rational one.” 

 

“Look at your life, oh rational one. Ed is engaged with a kid on the way. I’m starting a business. And you, well you have your plants.” 

 

“Eddy, what if everything falls apart?” Edd asked quietly. 

 

“Then enjoy yourself on the way down.” Eddy replied. The heat and venom was gone. The men had silently apologized and moved on with their conversation. 

 

Ed and Eddy fought a lot growing up. Both were passionate, stubborn, and too dumb to back down. However, Eddy and Double Dee rarely got into arguments that lasted longer than a day or two. Both knew that there was no winning with the other. Eddy lived to get a rise out of people and Edd had an eerie calm about him. After the first few cruel things were said they circled each other, went to their separate corners, and calmed down. It had been that way for ages. That afternoon Eddy and Edd sat back down on the couch. Eddy unpaused the game and Edd looked at his locked phone screen. 

 

“Just text him, jackass.” Eddy said as he shot a bikini clad woman between the eyes. 

 

“This game is repulsive.” Edd said in return. 

 

**Edd: Hello**

 

**Kevin: hi**

 

**Edd: Apologies...I wish I had a better excuse for not communicating earlier such as being extremely overworked or under the weather. However, it seems that as Eddy would say I’m just being a ‘chicken-shit’.**

 

**Kevin: lol It’s okay Dweeb. Kinda thought I blew it.**

 

**Edd: Heavens, no. It was me. It seems that you still intimidate me. However it is now in good spirit. I no longer believe you will dunk my head in the toilet.**

 

**Kevin: it depends :P**

 

**Edd: Rude.**

 

**Kevin: When can I see you again?**

 

Nazz was braiding Julia’s thick red hair while she was watching The Little Mermaid for the upteenth time. About a third of the time Julia was convinced she was Ariel. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kevin covering a wide smile with his hand. The trio had eaten dinner and Julia had taken her bath. Julia was allowed to stay up later on weekends and was relishing the time with her dad and Nazz. 

 

“There you go, Honey Bunny. One Elsa braid.” Nazz lightly thumped the girl’s head with the back of the brush. 

 

“Daddy, look!” Julia stood up and twirled around. 

 

“Very cool, princess.” Kevin said absently, only briefly taking his eyes off his phone. He felt a pang of guilt for ignoring his daughter in favor of a text message conversation. Julia had been the center of his universe for four years and everyone else was rotating around them. She had never before had to share him and this was too much for the five year old to take. She walked across the room and forced herself into Kevin’s lap. 

 

“You didn’t look.” Julia whined. Kevin sighed and turned off his phone screen. 

 

“Yes, I did.” Kevin argued and tugged her braid playfully. 

 

“Who are you talking to?” Julia demanded as she made herself more comfortable in her father’s lap. On screen Ariel sang about being apart of the magical land based world. Nazz sat on the couch, silently watching Kevin waver on what to tell Julia. 

 

“An old friend.” Kevin said passively and looked to Nazz for approval who just shrugged her shoulders. Kevin had been so busy learning how to be a single dad he never thought about what would happen when he started to date. Nazz, whose biggest worry outside of Julia’s basic happiness was gas money, didn’t have any helpful answers. 

 

“The same friend who was sleeping on the couch a few days ago?” 

 

“Yes…” Kevin said slowly.

 

“He talks funny.” Julia wrinkled her nose. 

 

“I guess so.” 

 

“His hair looks like Cruella DeVille.” she added. 

 

“That’s enough of that.” Nazz finally said, the torture having gone on long enough. “Who wants a pudding cup?” 

 

“Me!” Julia lept of Kevin’s lap and followed Nazz to the kitchen. 

 

“Fuck me,” Kevin muttered under his breath. Forty-five minutes later Kevin had carried Julia’s sleeping body to her princess bed. After ensuring all her night lights and music box were on, he went to the kitchen and poured himself a shot of Fireball and carried to beers to the living room. 

 

“I assume that did not go according to plan.” Nazz said as she took one of the beers. Kevin sat beside her on the couch and turned on a crime documentary to balance out the princess overload. Nazz put her feet in his lap and stretched out. 

 

“I didn’t have a plan.”  Kevin sighed. 

 

“Couldn’t tell. Not at all. Smooth as crunchy peanut butter.” 

 

“Fuck off. Like you could handle it any better.” 

 

“Luckily my cats don’t seem to care who I bring home as long as I feed them every morning.” 

 

“He wants to go out again.” Kevin smiled. 

 

“Duh.” Nazz shrugged. “Eddy was texting me as Edd was texting you. Edd is such a pansy.” 

 

“Play nice.” Kevin scowled and popped one of her toes.

 

“Ouch!” Nazz kicked him in the leg. “When does he want to see you again?” 

 

“Whenever my parental duties allow me freedom to do so. His words not mine.” 

 

“So...never?” Nazz scoffed. “What about tomorrow? I’ll take squirt to the zoo or something. Give you two a whole day.”

 

“I thought you had plans with Eddy.”  Kevin tried not to sound sour but he still had not fully adapted to Nazz’s newest fling. 

 

“Tentative plans. He can come see the lions with us or he can stay home and beat it alone.” Nazz said. 

 

“I owe you so big.” Kevin tackled his selfless friend in a hug. 

 

“Yeah, you do.”  Nazz laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? I hope it was worth the wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a weak chapter but I wanted to pop this up to remind you that I haven't jumped ship. Let me know what you think!

The following morning Edd was preparing breakfast for himself when his phone began buzzing off the counter. He had an unsettled feeling in his stomach, having agreed to another meeting with Kevin. Looking down at his phone screen he saw Kevin’s name glowing. 

 

“Oh, dear.” Edd fumbled with his toast and shakily answered his phone. “H-hello, there.” 

 

“Double-Dee?” Kevin hesitated. 

 

“Yes, this is he.” 

 

“Well, yeah. I got that. You just sound weird.” Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, not enjoying their newly awkward dynamic. 

 

“No, I’m fine. Just enjoying my breakfast. I apologize if I sound...weird?” 

 

“Hey, are we still on for today? My kid is going to the zoo. I’m yours all day.” Kevin waited a beat and listened as Edd munched his toast. “Or...we could cancel. I could apologize for forcing myself onto you last week. And we could move on with our individual lives.” he laughed uncomfortably. 

 

“Does noon work for you?” Edd asked. 

 

“Perfectly.” 

 

Edd hung up the phone without saying anything more. He spun around and threw up his toast and grapefruit into the sink. 

 

“So unsanitary.” Edd mumbled as he washed his sick down with hot water. After scrubbing and disinfecting his sink, he quickly dialed Ed’s number.  

 

“What’s up sockhead?” Ed answered the phone casually. 

 

“Kevin is coming over today.” Eddy relayed. 

 

“Yeah, I know. I have to take his twerpette to the zoo so you can get laid. Ouch...Nazz. And I just got smacked for it. You’re welcome.” 

 

“I’m not 100% sure I can continue with this relationship. I feel sick. I’ve studied relationships from a safe distance for as long as you and Eddy have been dating. But never once have I desired one for myself.” 

 

“Jesus Christ, Edd. Stop being a bitch. Look, can you call if off now so I can get laid and not look at dumbass elephants all day? It’s Sunday. One of us should be getting frisky.” 

“Edd?” a female’s voice came on the phone. “Hi, it’s Nazz.”

 

“Uh, hello, Nazz.” Edd mumbled. 

 

“Eddy is being a dick. He’s actually very excited about the baby otters. As for Kevin, calm down. The dude adores you. It’s okay to be nervous about a new thing. Be real with him. And yeah, stop being a little bitch. You’re 21 going on 42. Enjoy life a little bit. Okay? Okay. Bye.” 

 

“Goodbye…” Edd said to an already ended conversation. When had all his friends become rude and obsessed with sexual relationships? Oh yeah, around freshman year of high school. 

 

Noon rolled around and Edd did his best to stay calm. The knots in his stomach didn’t ease up any but chapter twelve of his herbology textbook helped distract him. A series of knocks on his apartment door shook head from his mostly peaceful state. Slowly, Edd answered the door and saw Kevin standing in his hall. Hands in his pockets, an easy smile on his face, and over grown red hair flopping onto his forehead. 

 

“Hi,” Edd breathed, his heart skipping a beat. 

 

“Hey, can I come in?” 

 

“Yes, of course.” Edd stepped aside. “Shoes off please. Shoes are filthy and carry a disgusting amount of parasites and pathogens into our homes.” 

 

“Wow, gross.” Kevin laughed, but kicked off his shoes revealing one black and one white sock. 

“Laundry day?” Edd asked with a small smile.

 

“More like my life. Who has time to match socks? No one sees them anyways.” Kevin shrugged. The duo stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say. 

 

“Would you care for a drink?” Edd finally offered. 

 

“Yeah, sure.” 

 

“Water, milk,  or orange juice.” Edd shuffled to the kitchen, happy he had a task. Kevin sat on a stool at the breakfast bar. 

 

“Juice sounds great. Thanks.” 

 

“It’s good to see you again.” Edd handed the man a glass of juice and looked at his feet.

 

“Yeah, same here. Look, I’m really sorry.” Kevin sighed. 

 

“Whatever for?” 

 

“Coming on so strong on our date. I should have taken it slower. I know you don’t have as much...experience. I really didn’t mean to scare you off.” 

 

“I assure you, you didn’t.” Edd sighed heavily. “If we are being completely honest right now, I’ve never had a partner before. Male or female. Most of my companionship through the years has been platonic and have come from professors, Ed, or Eddy.” 

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s not really a secret.” Kevin laughed and took a drink. Then saw Edd’s face turn red with frustration and embarrassment. He reached out and placed his hand over the smaller man’s hand. “Hey, it’s okay. Really. Let’s start fresh. No pressure. Just two guys hanging out.” 

 

“I don’t know…” Edd said. He watched Kevin’s face drop and then he smirked ever so slightly. “I didn’t say what happened last Tuesday was a bad event. Just surprising. And I certainly don’t want to hang out with you in the same manner I “hang out” with Ed and Eddy.” 

 

“You playing coy with me?” Kevin laughed and stood up, wrapping Edd up in a hug. 

 

“I’ve been known to have a clever moment or two in my life.” Edd said. Kevin gently kissed the brunette who eagerly reciprocated. 

The pair spent the afternoon watching movies and lazily flirting with each other. It had been so long since Kevin felt his age. He was so relaxed with Edd lying in his lap and slowly running his fingers through dark wavy tendrils. The moment was shattered around 4pm when Nazz’s ringtone blasted from Kevin’s cell phone. 

 

“Fuck me.” Kevin grumbled. “Hey, Nazz what’s up?”

 

“C’mon Cinderella. It’s time to come home.” Nazz said with a tone of sympathy. 

 

“Yeah, I’m on my way.” he sighed. “Kiss my kid for me. Can’t wait to hear about everything.” 

 

“Time to go?” Edd sat up off of Kevin’s lap and paused the movie. 

 

“Yeah. Back to reality. I’ve got work tomorrow. She’s got school. Dinner, bathtime, and bedtime.” Kevin sounded tired but not resentful or bitter. He slipped on his shoes at the door and Edd followed behind. 

 

“I am very glad you came over.” Edd said. “Perhaps we can have a night together soon.” 

 

“You’re cute.” Kevin laughed gently and wrapped one hand around the back of Edd’s neck and an arm around his waist. Kevin gently placed his mouth on his partner’s. Edd was the one who deepened the kiss. The duo stood by the front door kissing like a pair of frenzied teenagers for several minutes until Edd came up for air. 

 

“You are quite good at that.” he laughed. 

 

“Not my first rodeo.” Kevin said coyly. “Look, I’ll call you. I’ve really gotta go.” 

 

“Yes, I’m aware.” Edd briefly pouted. He was upset Kevin was going and also baffled as to why he was sad to have his apartment back to himself. Usually solitude was a massive relief to him after long bouts of socialization. Oddly, Edd was finding himself addicted to the scent, touch, and taste of Kevin. Mentally he was begging him not to go as he kissed him goodbye. 

 

“I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Alright,” Edd smiled and locked the door behind him. 

 

Once at home Kevin hadn’t walked more than two steps into the living room when he was tackled by a three foot ginger tornado. 

 

“Hey, princess.” Kevin laughed and scooped her up. 

 

“You missed it!” Julia whined. 

 

“Yes, hello. I missed you and love you too.” Kevin grumbled sarcastically and walked into the kitchen where Nazz and Eddy were talking and eating chips. 

 

“You missed the meerkats. And the elephants. And the fish.” 

 

“I’m sorry, honey. Really. I’ll go next time.” Kevin promised and set Julia down on the floor. The girl, not satisfied with hollow promises, stomped her foot. He crouched down in front of her. Nazz and Eddy, ungracefully, exited the room trying to avoid the father daughter drama. 

 

“Where were you?” she demanded. 

 

“I was spending time with a friend while you hung out with Nazz and Eddy.” 

 

“Why couldn’t you and your friend hang out with me?” 

 

“I needed some grown up time.” 

“That sounds super boring.” Julia pouted. “Meerkats are more fun. I’m more fun.” 

 

“Bluebird...what the hell is going on?” Kevin sat on the kitchen floor. Julia’s lip was wobbling. She looked like he had never seen her before. Lonely, confused, and utterly abandoned. 

 

“You don’t want me anymore. You just want grown up time.” the tiny girl wailed, the dam breaking. Hours of walking around, too much sugar, and a new man in her father’s life proved too much for her tiny heart. Much like he did when she was a toddler, Kevin wrapped Julia up in his arms and shushed her until her sobs turned into hiccups. 

 

“I will always want you. Always and forever.” Kevin promised. “But sometimes grown ups need grown up friends. Just like you need your friends. But no matter how important he is to me, you are a million times better.” 

 

“A billion.” Julia sniffled. 

 

“A trillion.” Kevin countered. He realized his friends had snuck out the front door and he was still on the kitchen floor with an exhausted kid. “Let’s order pizza.” 

 

“With stuffed crust?” Julia perked up. 

 

“And brownie bites.” he promised. “Go get pajamas on, I’ll order food.” 

 

“Yay!” Julia clambered to her feet and dashed to her room. Before he got off the floor he messaged Nazz.

 

**Kevin: Does dating with kids ever get easier?**

 

**Nazz: Let me ask my mom and I’ll get back to you.**

 

**Nazz: She said no.**

 

**Nazz: And laughed. A lot.**

 

**Kevin: Fuck off……**

 

**Nazz: Did you have fun at least????**

 

**Kevin: Yeah. I really did.**

 

**Nazz: did Bambi freak out when you moved past first base?**

 

**Kevin: Shut up Nazz. We didnt do anything.**

 

**Kevin: Im done talking about my sex life with you**

 

**Nazz: What sex life?**

 

**Nazz: Youre going on a year with no sex**

 

**Nazz: Pretty sure you regrew your virginity**

 

**Kevin: I wish they had a middle finger emoji**

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very light chapter with the Edd's being the Edd's. Hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!

The following week Edd sat at his desk having his weekly skype conversation with his mother. Though Doctor Jessica Vincent was in her early fifties, she remained extremely beautiful with the unusual combination of raven black hair and ice blue eyes like her son. This month she was in Miami for a several medical technology workshops which she was heading. 

 

“Yes, Miami is beautiful. But far too many young ladies in bikinis. Perhaps something yourself and your friends would enjoy but I would prefer wrapping these women up in towels.” Dr. Vincett complained. Edd had never found the time, words, or need to formally ‘come out’ to his parents. Not that they’ve ever showed much interest in their only child’s personal life. So, for convenience sake he allowed them to fall into their heteronormative assumptions. 

 

“I’m sure that is bothersome. Modesty is a lost concept.” Edd mumbled. Both he and his mother were staring at large textbooks, splitting their attention between their studies and bonding.

 

“Eddward, when are you going to cut your hair? I have an excellent stylist who can help conceal your poliosis.” Dr. Vincent stated after a few minutes of shared silence. 

 

“Mother, I like my hair’s length and after nearly two decades I have come to terms with my unsightly  _ condition _ .” Edd huffed. His ghostly white streaks of hair had always been a hot button topic between he and his mother. Dr. Vincent strived for perfection. Perfect home. Perfect grades. Perfect occupation. A  _ nearly  _ perfect son just didn’t cut it. In fact, she was the one who suggested her five year old son wear a hat when he was teased for his looks. She began urging him to dye the strips around sixth grade. 

 

“Alright, dear. Whatever you say. You claim you’re an adult. However, take into consideration the fact that potential partners in your life may not find them as charming as you do.” 

 

“Mother, didn’t you say you had some important information at the beginning of this call?” Edd veered away from her scathing reviews before she dived into why he didn’t have a girlfriend yet. 

 

“Oh, yes. Thank you for reminding me.” Dr. Vincent adjusted her glasses and stared her son in the eye via computer screen. “Your father and I are divorcing.” 

 

“Oh,” Edd managed after a moment. 

 

“As you know we have not been travelling together for some years. He has found himself a new woman to suit. And I have found myself interested in a different man. Our love began to fade years ago and now it is time to sign the documents and get on with life.” Dr. Vincent rattled off in very clinical tone. As if she were telling a patient they had an ingrown toenail and though painful, it didn’t require surgery. 

 

“I see.” Edd’s eyebrows knitted together. There was a large spectrum of emotions occurring all at once, but not one of those emotions was surprise. 

 

“I’m sorry, Love. I must depart now. Same time next week, yes? Talk then. Farewell.” and she clicked off, leaving her son staring at her icon. 

 

“Wow.” Edd muttered as he shut his laptop lid. His apartment was eerily silent. The enormity and yet miniscule nature of this news was sucking all the air out of the room. After another minute of processing he picked up his phone and called Eddy. 

 

“Yo, DoubleDee. You have got to learn to text me. Calling is for, like, someone is dying information. And even then, text if it’s not you dying.” Eddy rambled, perching his cell phone between his shoulder and ear while playing a game on the computer. 

 

“I’ll keep that in mind. My apologies for the inconvenience.” Edd’s voice sounded hollow but he pressed on. “What are you and Ed doing this evening? Would you perhaps like to join me in a raucous evening out?”

 

“A raucous evening out?” Edd chortled. “Yeah, sure. What’s the occasion?”  

 

“My parents are divorcing.”

 

“Oh, shit.” 

 

“My sentiments exactly. May I pick you up around eight this evening? I think I would like to get drunk.” 

 

“Hell yes! I’ve been waiting since junior prom to hear you say that! I’m hanging up now before you overthink this and ruin everything.” 

  
  


A few hours later the three men were gathered around a back table in the Peach Pit working on their third pitcher of low grade beer. All three of them were boisterously shouting their grievances with life. 

 

“My girlfriend is  _ huuuge  _ and I can’t even tell her that!” Ed groaned, his girlfriend had recently entered her third trimester with their child. “And she eats all the Doritos. If I eat even one Dorito I get yelled at!” 

 

“Dude, she’s growing a fucking human!” Eddy countered. “All you’ve done with your body is fart, vomit, and manage to knock up the poor girl! Let the sea cow eat her chips or she’ll eat you. I’ve seen it happen!” 

 

“You...you are very rude.” Edd giggled into his nacos. 

 

“No, you know who’s rude? My apparent girlfriend. When the hell did I get a girlfriend? Nazz has a nice ass and we did it a few times. Okay, more than a few. Like a hundred amazing times. But I digress. Anyways, now I’m babysitting kids and getting in trouble if I like another chick’s instagram picture? What the fuck.” Eddy chugged the rest of his mug. 

 

“You love her.” Ed laughed in Eddy’s face. 

 

“Shut up, lunk.” Eddy shot back.

 

“You love her!” Edd mimicked.

 

“Shut up, dweeb.” Eddy said with a smile. 

 

“You looooooove, Nazz.” Both Ed and Edd sang. 

 

“I love that little blond spitfire. I’m pretty much her bitch. Magic lady bits are a real thing.” Eddy finally conceded. 

 

“Have you told her?” Edd asked while shoving a chip in his mouth.

 

“Hell no. I’m not going first.” 

 

“Don’t get her pregnant. You’ll never have doritos again.” Ed warned darkly. 

 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the worst part about getting a girl knocked up.” Eddy laughed so hard beer near shot from his nose. 

 

“Sorry, about your parents. DoubleDee. I know it’s not surprising but it still sucks. When me and Sarah’s parents split up it totally sucked. Even though we knew dad was totally sleeping around.” Ed comforted his sorrowful friend. 

 

“I’m not even bothered by their divorce. I’m bothered by the way she told me. I’ve heard her use that same tone of voice reminding me to get milk or do laundry. It was just mean! She was...was...a bitch!” Edd ranted. 

 

“Woah! Hold back DoubleDee! You’re using your big kid words.” Eddy smacked his friend on the back and Edd was laughing loudly. Edd was smiling sadly into his beer. 

 

“I’m glad I have you guys.” Edd whispered. 

 

“Don’t get girly, Dweebus.” Eddy said somberly. 

 

“It’s too early for the touchy feely.” Ed agreed. The guys had been friends for fifteen years and only three times had they actually professed their love for each other. Twice, they were near death and the third time they were blackout drunk after high school graduation. A night none of them really remember. 

 

It was just something that didn’t need to be said. The three of them couldn’t have been more different but sometimes friendship is thrust upon you without your consent. It was kindergarten when they began their journey. It’s funny what a strong bond can be made between people with everyone else on the playground hates you. Throughout the years their parents, girlfriends, and even teachers had urged them to stop hanging out together and ‘expand their circle’ it never happened. It seemed the Earth would catch fire before the Ed’s separated. 

 

A few more hours and several rounds later someone called them an uber who delivered them stumbling over each other to Edd’s apartment. It took ten minutes and a hell of a lot of teamwork to unlock his door. Once inside they assumed their positions. Ed was sprawled on the floor. Eddy was curled up in the chair. Edd was stretched out on the sofa. They were too far gone to even turn on the TV. So they just laid there in the dark eyes wide open with their minds moving in slow motion. It was like they were 13 again having a sleepover and running out of things to say in the wee hours of the morning. 

 

“Guys,” Ed sighed loudly. “I’m gonna be a dad.” 

 

“God, help that child.” Edd laughed lightly. 

 

“Start saving for therapy now.” Eddy piled on. 

 

“What if it’s a girl?” Ed pondered. 

 

“You don’t know already?” Edd asked. 

 

“Nah, Brittney wants it to be a surprise. I dunno why. All the clothes and toys and stuff we have is boring. Yellows and greens. I want blue stuff. And monster trucks. And baseballs. I want a son.” 

 

“Girls can play with monster trucks too.” Edd reminded with a yawn. 

 

“Yeah, but I want a son.” Ed whined.

 

“What’s done is done. You can’t change anything. Gotta deal with it.” Eddy said. 

 

“So, Edd.” Eddy groaned after a minute of quiet. 

 

“Yeah?” Ed and Edd replied at the same time. 

 

“No, DoubleDee. Not you, brick head. Double Dee, how long have you known?”

 

“Known what?” Edd asked quietly. 

 

“That you’re gay.” 

 

“I don’t know. I didn’t know I was anything until Kevin. I thought I was nothing.” 

 

“You’re not nothing.” Ed whined. “You’re never nothing, Sockhead!” 

 

“I know, Ed. I know.” Edd smiled in the darkness. “But I never wanted to date. I never even wanted to be near anyone. Then I saw him...and it was like...I knew I was  _ something.  _ I’m not sure I’m gay. I’m not sure I’m bisexual or pansexual or asexual either.” 

 

“You’re Kevin-Sexual.” Ed laughed heartily. 

 

“That’s very mature.” Edd scolded but was still grinning. 

 

“So, how is the man sex?” Eddy was unsure how to discuss this. He was so used to talking tits and ass with Ed and having Edd nodding along with half interest. This was uncharted territory and he was attempting to keep conversation normal, albeit horribly. 

 

“I wouldn’t know. But I would appreciate you not asking again.” Edd said sternly. “Some things are personal.” 

  
“Whatever you say.” Eddy said quietly. No one said anything else. It was past the time of coherence. They all fell asleep until the next afternoon. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a crazy month so here's a long fluffy family chapter. Also, all your reviews make my heart so happy. I love knowing this little fic makes other people smile too. I hope this keeps up with expectations. :D Much love, Little Crickett.

Across town that same night, Kevin and his friend Nat sat on the sofa in Kevin’s living room playing his relic of a Nintendo 64. Julia was snoozing away in her room and Nat was kicking Kevin’s ass at Mario Kart. Though he had an unfair advantage as Kevin was frequently checking his phone as drunk texts from Edd came trickling in. Though, most seemed to be notes to himself.   
  
**Edd: Do remember to water Jim. He deserves it.** **  
****Edd: take out trasssh. Its unsanitary.** **  
****Edd: Tell Ed that Ikea is not a pretty name for a girl child. She will be bullyed.** **  
****Edd: Bullied.** **  
****Edd: go to ikea and eat meatballs.** **  
**  
Kevin didn’t respond, but the fifth time he checked his phone and chuckled, Nat groaned loudly and threw the control in the air.   
  
“Beating you means nothing if you’re not even trying, Red.”   
  
“Sorry, my...Edd is out with his idiot friends tonight. Even his sloppy drunk texts are weirdly formal.” Kevin smile and showed the string of messages to his blue haired friend.   
  
They had met on the final blind date that was forcibly set up by Nazz a little over a year ago. After the second date, they both admitted there was no spark between them romantically, but were pretty spot on friendship wise. Though Nat’s boyfriends, girlfriends, and hair colors came and went the guy’s friendship remained pretty solid. Beer, video games, and lackluster discussions regarding why the hell a hunk like Kevin wasn’t dating.   
  
“Your dotdotdot Edd?” Nat waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Helluva space there, Kev. Do you maybe, perhaps have a dotdotdot boyfriend?”   
  
“I think so. But I’m not 100%.” Kevin said honestly, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. He took a sip of his beer and looked at his phone again. He and Edd had been on a few more, mostly uninterrupted, dates. They texted and talked non-stop. It had been weeks, but still neither of them had set aside a chunk of time to have the ever irritating ‘where is this going’ discussion.   
  
“Dude, if a guy is drunk texting you that means you’re on his mind even when his mind has left the building.” Nat pointed out.   
  
“You drunk text me twice a week.” Kevin said flatly.   
  
“Yeah, but that’s usually because I can’t find my car or forgot how to make a hot pocket.”   
  
“That’s pretty accurate.” Kevin laughed. “Enough talk, I think I’ve got Majora’s Mask in that box. Let me show you how to actually play a Zelda game.”   
  
“What, running in circles smashing shit with no care for the intentional mission isn’t the right way to do things? Who woulda thunk.” Nat said sarcastically and began rummaging in a cardboard box for a twenty year old game.   
  
The next afternoon, with Nat’s pressuring, Kevin called Edd to invite him over for ‘family dinner’. Last night as he was getting ready to head home, Nat had made a good point. Edd had never had a real relationship before and wasn’t even close with his family. He probably had no idea how to move things to the ‘next level’ and if Kevin wanted to finally get laid he might need to be the one to make that leap. Kevin, chose to ignore the last piece of Nat’s advice...even though it wasn’t entirely incorrect.   
  
The phone rang for nearly a full minute before a groggy sounding Edd picked up.   
  
“Salutations.” He mumbled. Behind him Eddy was rummaging for food in the cupboards. Ed was still face down on the living room floor.  
  
“Hey, DoubleDee. You okay?” Kevin asked with a small chuckle. He had never heard Edd hungover before. Edd sounded slightly miserable and confused, but still managed to be adorable.  
  
“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. Ed, Eddy and I went out for drinks last night. I fear I may have had too many inebriating beverages with inadequate hydration.”    
  
“Yeah, I know. I got the texts, babe.” Kevin laughed loudly this time.  
  
“Texts? As in...oh, dear...I haven’t fully recovered many of my memories from last night.”   
  
“Don’t worry. I’ll get you some Ikea meatballs soon.”  
  
“I’m sorry?”   
  
“You’ll understand later. What was the occasion for getting white girl wasted?” Kevin asked. Julia was playing with her plastic horses on the ground, using Kevin’s bare feet at a jump. He smiled down at her, thankful she didn’t yet know what _white girl wasted_ was. God, help him is her teen years were anything like his.   
  
“Oh, um.” Edd hesitated and took a breath. It was still uncomfortable in his mouth, the word divorce. “Er...my parents. They’re separating. Permanently. Mother and Father seem to have fallen in love, with different people. As I am aware, this isn’t an uncommon occurrence so I’m unsure why it is bothering me so much.”  
  
“God, I’m sorry. That really fucking sucks.” Kevin’s heart genuinely ached for Edd. Though he could count on one hand how many times he saw Dr. and Dr. Vincent over the 15 years of knowing their son, it still sucked hearing the news. “Divorce is a bitch, even if you expect it and you’re an adult. Parents are supposed to be forever.”   
  
“Well, yours are.” Edd laughed quietly and sadly.   
  
“25 years isn’t forever…” Kevin said awkwardly. Julia was now staring at him after his using of curse words. He mouthed ‘sorry’ to her and the young girl rolled her warm cocoa eyes and returned to playing Super Power Horse Stable.  
  
“It’s okay, Kevin. Really. I’m fine. What was the nature of your calling?” Edd watched in disgust as Eddy took fistfuls of Honey-Nut Cheerios straight from the box. It was like watching a horrific nature documentary where you couldn’t intervene and save the cub from the stampede.   
  
“Oh, huh. I was actually wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight.”   
  
“Dinner? Is Julia with your parents?” Edd asked respectfully. After their first encounter he had yet to see Julia again. Edd was respecting Kevin’s desire to keep them separate for now. Kevin was understanding of Edd’s inability to bond properly with small humans.   
  
“No, the dinner is with Julia and my parents...and my aunt and uncle. It’s family dinner. I understand if you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I really want you to come...be with us.”  
  
“Uncomfortable? No, of course not! I would love to meet your family...in a more put together state of being.” Edd inwardly cringed when recalling how he had first met Kevin’s aunt.   
  


“Great! Can you come over around 5:30 tonight?”   
  
“Indeed. I’m looking forward to it.”   
  
“Same.” Kevin grinned. “Talk to you soon. You should really read your messages, they’re hilarious.”  
  
“Will do…”   
  
                                                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That evening at 5:23, after much fretting with his outfit, Edd knocked on Kevin’s door, unsure of what to expect. Kevin opened the door wearing tattered jeans, an outdated Nike t-shirt, and his red hat spun backwards. Behind him stood Julia, wearing a black ballerina tutu, mismatched socks, and pink kitty cat ears.   
  
“I feel woefully overdressed.” Edd muttered. Opting for slacks, a blue button down shirt, with a black tie, he looked more Ready for Church than Ready for Dinner with the Barrs.   
  
“Nah, you look great, babe.” Kevin quickly kissed Edd’s cheek, which elicited a very dramatic vomit sound from Julia. “Knock it off, pipsqueak.” Kevin laughed uncomfortably.   
  
He and his daughter had had a long talk before this about what was appropriate and inappropriate behavior. This talk didn’t go too well and they eventually bargained that she could pick her outfit as long as she was nice to Edd. Julia, who was still as salty as the dead sea towards her father’s new beau, was standing cross armed in the kitchen doorway staring up at Edd.   
  
“Hi, Julia.” Edd tried nicely. For some reason, kids intimidated Edd. He liked children and was fascinated by their rapid cognitive development, but somehow he always felt uneasy around them. As if they could tell you things about yourself that even you didn’t know. Kevin assumed this was just from Edd’s lack of time spent with kids. Julia looked at Edd long and hard, trying to solve his very existence. His hair was long and his eyes were nice. He was looking at her, not through her, like most adults did. Julia uncrossed her arms and cocked her head with curiosity.   
  
“How do you know my name?” She asked with a facial expression that mimicked Kevin’s when Edd tried to explain the exciting world of cell biology.   
  
“Your dad never stops talking about you. He even told me you really like snickerdoodle cookies.” Edd opened the Tupperware container he was holding and pulled out a cookie. He looked at Kevin, who gave a small nod of pre-dinner-cookie-approval. Edd handed the cookie to Julia, who in turn smiled and took a big bite.   
  
“What do you say?” Kevin prompted.   
  
“I like you!” Julia said happily before dashing off to her room with the remainder of the cookie to attend to whatever 5 year old business she had.   
  
“That works too.” Kevin laughed. “My kid is a lot like a puppy. Very food motivated and loves belly rubs.”   
  
“I’ll keep that in mind. Where can I put these?” Edd asked. Kevin took the container and led Edd into the kitchen.   
  
“I didn’t know you could bake.” Kevin noted, snagging a cookie for himself before setting them on the counter.   
  
“It’s simple science really. Chemistry and such of the like. I find baking as soothing as gardening. Except cookies are noticeably tastier than marigolds.”   
  
“I agree.” Kevin took another bite of the cookie. “So, my family will be here soon. I meant to tell you this is super casual. Like, pizza or pasta around the table and then we watch a movie. Me and Amanda were only children so these family dinners were a weekly thing to get everyone together. We saw each other at school and stuff but we were so busy when we got older. Her with cheer and me with sports and rebellion, that these dinners kind of forced us to be in the same place at the same time once a week. Rudy and Ann brought dessert and we made dinner. It was pretty awesome.”

 

“It’s really sweet that you guys kept doing it after she passed.” Edd said, then in a low voice added. 

 

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Now it’s the one night a week I don’t have to make dinner. Can you put these on the table? I’m gonna make some Kool-Aid.” 

 

“Kool-Aid?” Edd groaned. “Kevin, that is quite literally nothing but red sugar water. Not only is it incredibly unhealthy it’s quite frankly, revolting.”

 

“Not this time. I got Berry Blue Blast sugar water for tonight.” Kevin winked. 

 

An hour later the house was filled with red-headed, hot-tempered, hug-loving, Barrs. A family unit so loud and different than his own that Edd had to excuse himself to the bathroom once or twice to catch a breath. Even Kevin’s father, who only fit two of those three descriptors, was there. Quietly sitting in a chair in the living room surveying the scene from a distance. Edd found himself separated from Kevin and helping Robin and Ann put the finishing touches on the spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread dinner.

 

“You look very nice. It’s great seeing a young man actually care about his appearance.” Ann complemented, pointedly and loud enough for the intended audience to hear. “Getting Kevin to wear anything other than his ‘working on cars’ clothes is an uphill battle.”

 

“Thank you. I feel a tad over-dressed. My parents are very formal people. I suppose it rubbed off on me.” Edd said. 

 

“Edd, you grew up in the Cul-de-Sac, right?” Robin asked, carrying the tray of bread to the dining room table. It was old, scratched, and rickety, surrounded by six matching chairs, one office desk chair, and a folding chair. But it served it’s purpose as the command center of kindergarten homework, late night bill paying, and weekly family dinners. 

 

“Indeed, I did.”

 

“I don’t remember seeing you around much. Now, Rolf and Jonny I couldn’t kick out of my house sometimes. But I don’t remember you, sweetheart.” 

 

“You may better remember my troublemaking comrades. Ed and Eddy. They caused Kevin and Nazz and the others quite a bit of grief growing up.” 

 

“Oh, my goodness! Those boys broke my back fence one summer!” Ann said with a giggle. 

 

“Yes, I wish I could say my friends outgrew their antics, but as is said, a leopard cannot change its spots.” Edd smiled. He remembered the exact day that the mattress duct taped to a Radio Flyer wagon went crashing through that back fence. Thankfully, Edd convinced the other two 12 year old boys to wear helmets before careening down that hill at breakneck speed. 

 

“You don’t seem the type of boy to hang out with those hooligans.” Robin noticed. 

 

“I don’t seem a lot of things I suppose. They are my brothers for all meaning of the word. Eddy is actually doing fairly well in school, I believe he wishes to open a car dealership. Which shouldn’t surprise anyone. Ed is about to have a child with his long term girlfriend. We’ve grown up, but not apart.” Edd set the salad on the table beside the pot of spaghetti. 

 

“That’s actually very sweet, honey. I wish I kept in touch with the girls from my sorority.” Robin said, rubbing Edd between his shoulder blades. Edd bristled at the touch and stepped away, but offered a small smile. Robin returned the smile and then loudly called the family to the dinner table. Barrs came from all parts of the house and settled around the table. 

 

“You’re a guest!” Julia said loudly to Edd and pointed to the wheeled spinny chair. “You get the special chair!” 

 

“Oh,” Edd muttered, turning bright red. “Okay.” he nervously sat down in the ‘special chair’ and felt seven pairs eyes on him. Even though only one small person was looking at him and the rest were looking at food. Edd watched silently as bowls were passed, glasses were topped off, and plates were filled. He grabbed a small portion of spaghetti and salad and nibbled when no one was looking at him. 

 

“So,  _ Eddie _ .” Gregory Barr said halfway through dinner. It was the only time Gregory had spoken that evening. He was staring hard at Edd, as if he could see his insides quiver with fear. It could have been Kevin’s imagination that he felt the room drop seven degrees, everyone freeze in place, and a record scratch in the distance. Except that Edd felt all those things too. 

 

“Yes, sir?” Edd said quietly. Kevin who was sitting beside him, slowly put a hand on Edd’s knee. Even Julia was uncharacteristically quiet when her Grandpa spoke up, opting to endlessly twirl her spaghetti instead of making her bread dance. 

 

“How did you meet my boy? He’s been known to hang around with unsavory types in the past. He has a lot going for him right now. He has Julia and is on his way to taking over Rudy’s shop. What’s to say you’re any different than Brad or Kenny? Kenny had a ponytail too.” his voice was uninflected and gruff. You could barely see his mouth move under his thick moustache. 

 

“Dad, knock it off.” Kevin near hissed. He had no idea how his father had heard the names Kenny or Brad, but he had a feeling his mom wasn’t as much of a confidant as earlier promised. 

 

“No, it’s fine.” Edd said cooly. This was no different than his own mother and father interrogating him regarding poor friendship choices, university selection, or career decisions. 

 

“Actually, sir. I prefer to go by  _ Edd, _ please. I met Kevin when we were children. Though we traveled in the same friendship circles all the way through high school graduation, we weren’t exactly close. We lost touch until early last month. I’m halfway through my junior year at the University studying plant biology on a molecular level. My primary interest is genetically improving food to be more easily grown en mass and successfully distributed to impoverished areas throughout the world. I will be graduating spring of next year and going on to get my masters degree followed by my Ph.D. Like my parents before me. 

 

“Though, I do not have much experience with children I find myself quite charmed by Julia. In fact, her personality traits remind me of a dear childhood friend of mine. I’ve never had any form of relationship before but thus far your son has been an excellently raised gentleman. Also, my hobbies include baking and gardening and I’m a virgo. Though, I do not hold much stock in astrology, I find myself rather personifying myself with that sign. I made snickerdoodles for tonight. Would anyone like a cookie?” Edd finished his monologue and gave Gregory a shaky smile, trying to ignore everyone staring at him. Gregory grunted something unintelligible and shoved a piece of garlic bread in his mouth. 

 

Edd slowly pushed his chair back and walked into the kitchen to retrieve the baked goods and take a deep breath. Kevin was following close behind and once the men were alone in the kitchen, he spun Edd around and against the pantry door, out of view of the whispering dining room, kissed him hard.

 

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Kevin said when he pulled away from a now scalding crimson Edd. 

 

“Thank you?” Edd whispered, his fingertips touching his mouth. 

 

“I’ve been waiting years to tell my dad off but I could never do it without smashing shit. I swear he didn’t use to be such a dick. But the way you shut him down just now...damn. Amazing, babe. Amazing.” Kevin quickly kissed Edd again. 

 

“Kevin, will you be my boyfriend?” Edd asked bashfully, recalling a conversation earlier had with Eddy. That until you actually nail down the specifics of the relationships, there isn’t one. Actually, Eddy’s exact words we  _ if you don’t ask him not to fuck anyone else, he can fuck everyone else.  _ But that version lacked a certain amount of tact.

 

“God, Dweeb.” Kevin laughed. Edd felt his heart drop into his stomach until Kevin followed up with “I kind of already thought I was.”

  
  


After dinner was cleaned up the family gathered in the living room watching The Goonies, as it was Kevin’s week to choose the movie. Julia sat on the floor in front of Kevin who was struggling to braid her long hair. Despite numerous lessons from Nazz, he still couldn’t manage a simple braid. Sure, he could disassemble and reassemble an entire car in a day, but a five year old’s bedtime braid wanted to make him scream into the void. Usually, he just pulled it back into a ponytail or left it hanging loose, which led to horrible tangles. 

 

“Jules, can Nana or Grammy do this, please?” Kevin asked through gritted teeth on the third re-do. 

 

“Nooo, I want you too.” Julia whined. Robin and Ann slightly giggled at the young man’s incompetence and his child’s insistence. Each more stubborn than the other. Rudy was snoozing in the armchair and Gregory was still in the dining room reading the newspaper. Edd sat next to Kevin on the couch, watching with deep interest at the father daughter interaction beside him. 

 

“Hey, Julia.” Edd said quietly, leaning down to her. “Can I try?” 

 

Julia eyed him skeptically before nodding. “I guess so. Daddy isn’t making any progress.” this made all adults in the room laugh.

 

“You can’t fire me, I quit!” Kevin scoffed. “By all means, you try!” 

 

Ann, Robin, and Kevin watched as Julia shifted in front of Edd. She handed him a purple hair tie which he slid onto his slender wrist. Edd combed his fingers slowly and gently through the girl’s auburn hair before parting and skillfully twisting it into a four strand braid. His dexterous fingers made easy work of this. Having had long hair for nearly five years, Edd watched many hair styling videos in order to keep his hair tidy. Edd also found the more complex styles very fascinating. 

 

“Is there anything you’re not good at?” Kevin asked astonishedly, picking up the braid and inspecting it. 

 

“I’ll let you know if I discover anything.” Edd teased, poking his tongue through the small gap in his teeth. 

 

“Shut up, bragger.” Kevin laughed. “What do you think, kid?” 

 

“I love it!” Julia squealed upon reviewing her reflection in a small hand mirror. Ann and Robin looked at each other and beamed in equal glowing happiness. Their babies had finally met their match.

 

It wasn’t much longer afterwards that the house was empty except for Edd, Kevin, and Julia, who had long since been put to bed. Kevin and Edd were wrapped around each other on the couch, half watching the tv, half watching each other. 

 

“Thank you for inviting me tonight.” Edd said, leaning against the bigger man. Kevin had his legs out stretched on the coffee table and his arms wrapped around Edd. 

 

“I’m glad you came.” Kevin kissed Edd’s head. “My mom and Aunt adore you. Rudy’s a pretty big fan too.” 

 

“I apologize if I made things more difficult with your father.” 

 

“Nah, he’ll cool off. He’s just pissed a scrawny gay scientist took him down a peg.” 

 

“That is an odd compliment, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Edd giggled. “You’re very sweet.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kevin asked. He was surprised when he felt Edd shift against him and bend upwards to kiss his neck. 

 

“I feel it was pretty straight forward. I enjoy your protective nature. And your sense of humor. And I’m particularly drawn to your physical features as well.” Edd said quietly. 

 

“Oh, really.” Kevin purred. “You’re getting better at sweet talking.” 

 

“I like to think so.” The men rearranged themselves in a better position for a classic teenage living room sofa makeout session. Edd was becoming more confident with Kevin in an intimate fashion. Though they hadn’t gone past, what Edd learned from CosmoGirl, was third base, he felt safe and taken care of. They’ve had ample time to have furthered their explorations but Kevin was waiting for Edd’s green light signal. 

 

“Hey, baby?” Kevin asked, detaching his mouth from an alabaster collarbone. 

 

“Yeah?” Edd was blindly trying to unzip his partner’s pants while also grinding his own pelvis against Kevin’s leg. 

 

“Would you like to stay the night?” Kevin’s ability to form coherent sentences was quickly fading into oblivion as Edd was undoing his pants button.

 

“What about Julia?” Edd also was finding his brain scrambled by lust. 

 

“She once slept through a legitimate F4 tornado. Once she’s out, she’s out. It will be okay. Absolutely fine.” Kevin groaned, pushing himself off of Edd. 

 

“I’m confident in your belief of that.” Edd grabbed Kevin’s shirt and pulled him back down into a heated kiss. “I would love to stay the night with my boyfriend.” 

 

“Please, for the love of god, get in my bed.” Kevin growled lowly into his soon-to-be lover’s ear. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these kudos, bookmarks, and reviews make me such a happy woman. Genuinely appreciated!! This is a naughty chapter with some ending fluff. If naughty things make you uncomfortable, just wait till next chapter. :D Please enjoy!

Kevin and Edd made it down the hall to Kevin’s room without ever breaking contact. Once they made it back, Kevin silently shut the door and locked it. 

 

“Just in case.” He whispered, leading Edd to the bed. 

 

“Good forethought.” Edd groaned as Kevin ran his fingers through Edd’s thick black hair and gently shoved him back onto the bed. 

 

“How far do you want to go?” Kevin asked as he crawled on top of Edd and they settled more in the middle. He leaned down and kissed Edd’s collarbone and ran his hands up the smaller man’s shirt, feeling every inch of narrow stomach and chest he could. 

 

“Uh,” Edd whispered as Kevin’s hands set to work on his belt and zipper. “I feel ready to partake in intercourse, Kevin.” 

 

“Oh, well then.” Kevin smiled and began to work Edd’s jeans down. 

 

“Hold on,” Edd muttered and wriggled away. 

 

“W-what...okay...it’s been 30 seconds...but okay…” Kevin muttered.

 

“No, no, Kevin. I wish to...perform on  _ you. _ ” Edd said while blushing. 

 

“Oh.  _ Oh.”   _ Kevin smiled wildly and moved out of Edd’s way. “Are you sure?”

 

“Absolutely,” Edd’s voice was hardly above a seductive whisper. Kevin propped himself up against the headboard and watched as Edd crawled on top. Edd ghosted a kiss on Kevin’s lips and helped the well built man remove his shirt. Kevin returned in kind and put a bracing hand on the back of Edd’s neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss. 

 

“You really are beautiful.” Kevin said as the kiss broke. 

 

“Not like you.” Edd said bashfully. Edd leaned away and took his time kissing as many freckles as he could on his way down to the soft patch of strawberry blonde hair above the button of his jeans. Edd had never really done this before, any of it. Over the past several weeks he had found himself doing more research on some credible and a few questionable sources in his free time. Even having learned how to properly stretch himself out during masturbation. But being this intimate and mostly naked with another man made his heart race faster than the day Eddy convinced him to take a 5-hour Energy shot to study for Final Exams. 

 

“You okay, D?” Kevin asked, reaching down to gently touch Edd’s hair. 

 

“Yes,” Edd smiled up at his boyfriend before kissing his hip bone and working the zipper down and pants off. Edd momentarily marveled at the outline of Kevin’s cock bulge under his blue boxer briefs. Edd tugged down the fabric and freed the cock from it’s ever tightening cloth quarters. Timidly taking it in his hand, Edd noticed it’s girth...and length. Shaking away the nagging question  _ how is that going to fit anywhere in me,  _ Edd put his mouth on the swollen pink head. Sucking gently while moving his hand the way the gentleman did in the  _ educational  _ film Edd had watched. It only took moments before he found himself getting into the rhythm. 

 

Kevin, unaware of the rambling thoughts coming from his parenter, groaned in pleasure. It had been ten...no, eleven months since anybody had done this to him. Edd’s technique was formal and nearly robotic, much like Edd himself. He definitely needed to loosen up and practice more, but that didn’t stop Kevin from gently thrusting his hips forward in pleasure, causing Edd to suddenly take more dick into his mouth. Edd briefly gagged in shock but upon looking up at Kevin, whose eyes were shut tight in pleasure and his hand resting on the back of Edd’s head, he picked up speed. He had no idea how well a penis could fit into a mouth, the curves of each melding together perfectly. Taking more of the heavy warm cock into his mouth, bobbing much faster, and listening to the soft noises Kevin was making, Edd found himself enjoying it very much.  His own dick was beginning to harden at the memory of Kevin doing this very thing to him a few nights prior. Subtly, Edd reached down and undid his own pants and tugged on his member to the same rhythm he was sucking on Kevin’s at. Edd moaned in pleasure, the vibration causing Kevin to thrust forward again and tighten his hand around Edd’s hair. 

 

“Fuck, baby. I’m close...don’t wanna be.” Kevin gently pulled Edd’s head away from his groin and in swift motion he pushed Edd onto his back before pulling down his underwear and taking Edd’s entire shaft in his mouth at once. It happened so quickly Edd hadn’t had time to processes it until he felt a million butterflies on fire rapidly fluttering in the soft spot below his belly button. 

 

“K-Kevin...yes...please…” Edd begged in a voice unfamiliar to himself. Instinctively Edd’s hand found the back of Kevin’s head, gently touching the soft orange hair. Kevin smiled around the dick in his mouth and cradled Edd’s balls in his hand gently. With his free hand he nudged Edd’s legs apart and slowly began running his thumb over the puckered entrance. Edd somehow gasped and moaned in the same breath and Kevin swore he heard Edd mutter  _ fuck.  _

 

“Edd, are you-?” Kevin asked after another few minutes. 

 

“Ready? Yes, please, Kevin.” Edd’s voice was hoarse with pleasure. His brain felt like it was trapped in San Francisco fog. Nothing was truly visible or tangible, only vague outlines and shapes. Kevin kindly kissed his lovers thighs and helped him back to the head of the bed. Reaching for the lube and a condom he told Edd to put the small pillow under his ass. 

 

“Why?” Edd asked, while doing so and feeling painfully on display. 

 

“It will help, trust me. Also feels great.” Kevin said reassuringly. He crawled back to Edd and spilled lube on his fingers. “You ready, baby boy?” 

 

“Absolutely,” Edd smiled. His face was flushed and it made his eyes stand out even more. His glasses were abandoned on the dresser and his hair was loose around his face. Kevin started at him and wondered how someone could be so beautiful, sexy, and innocent all at the time time. After his fingers were slick he slowly pressed on Edd’s entrance, wiggling the finger in small motions. Edd’s brain exploded with this sensation and after only a minute he asked Kevin for another finger. 

 

“Gladly...damn, Edd. You’re so hot right now.” Kevin growled while scissoring his fingers inside of Edd. He leaned down and kissed his boyfriend hard while entering a third digit. “I cannot wait to be inside of you.” 

 

“Then, by all means,” Edd was struggling to form coherent words. “Get inside of me, Kevin.” 

 

“Fuck, yes.” Kevin moaned. He pulled his fingers slowly from Edd and began lubing his dick. “Hold still and relax, babe. I promise not to hurt you, but don’t wiggle too much. Let me know if it hurts too bad. I’ll fix it.” Kevin lined the eager tip of his cock up with Edd’s small hole. Making eye contact with Edd’s glassy blues, he pushed in. 

 

“Oh, my god.” Edd groaned, his eyes squeezing shut. It was pain and pleasure and steaming heat and he never wanted to feel empty again. 

 

“You good, Edd?” Kevin asked, slowly inching forward. 

 

“Yes, Kevin. Very good. Please, more.” Edd nearly whined. Kevin gave a final small thrust until his balls tapped Edd’s ass. “So, good.” Edd moaned again. 

 

“Edd, you’re amazing. You’re so tight and hot.” Kevin began pulling out slowly and pushing forward with more speed. He lifted one of Edd’s legs over his shoulder and held onto it, with his free hand he held the inner of Edd’s other thigh. Edd grabbed the lube that was left beside him and spilled it over his own cock, beginning to pull rapidly on his desperate member. 

 

“God damn, Kevin. Go harder. I want to...keep going…” Edd panted. 

 

“Yeah, yes, Edd. Oh, god, yes. I love watching you touch yourself. Keep doing that. You’re. So. Fucking. Sexy.” Kevin punctuated his words with hard thrusts into Edd. Edd groaned loudly with heated bliss. 

 

“Kevin, I’m going to climax. I feel my orgasm coming.” Edd said, throwing his head back. 

“Cum for me, baby. Cum on me.” Kevin growled as his own thrusts became shallow and erratic. Edd came first, shooting his white sticky load all over his and Kevin’s belly. Just moments afterwards Kevin shoved all the way into Edd and gripped his narrow shoulder for balance as he finished inside of him.

 

“Eddward,” Kevin shouted in a way that almost seemed painful as his last shot of semen filled the condom. Kevin collapsed on top of Edd and wrapped him into a tight hug before sliding out of him and rolling off. He removed the condom and tied it off before dropping it into the bedside trash can.

 

“Oh, my god.” Edd whispered in post-sex ecstasy. 

 

“No joke.” Kevin panted with a laugh. 

“You’re so...good at that.” Edd laughed, his S.A.T. vocabulary failing him. 

 

“Not so bad yourself.” Kevin kissed his cheek playfully. They laid there beside each other for a moment, smiling and catching their breath. 

 

“May I use your facilities? I feel rather sticky and believe a shower would help remedy that.” Edd asked, sitting up. 

 

“Sure, babe. There are towels in the closet in there.” Kevin yawned. “Would you like me to come with you?” 

 

“No, thank you.” Edd said with a smirk. “This is a getting  _ clean  _ shower. I would prefer to wait a little while before taking a getting  _ messy  _ shower. However, could you please find me some suitable bedclothes? I failed to pack an overnight bag.”

 

“No problem, Dork.” Kevin said lovingly. Edd slipped into Kevin’s t-shirt to cover him the thirteen steps between his door and the bathroom. In the shower, Edd allowed the steamy water to cleanse his body and and clear his thoughts. He had just had sex. Really great sex with the neighborhood cool kid. Had 21 year old Edd described to 14 year old Edd what had just transpired, he would have fainted in disbelief. Adult Edd would probably be arrested though because none of what just happened should ever be told to a minor. Edd chuckled to himself and rapidly washed, eager to return to bed with Kevin, his  _ boyfriend.  _

 

In the bedroom Kevin could hear the running water. He took a deep breathe and went over in his head what had just happened. Amazing sex with a man whom he never could imagined being a sexual creature. Kevin set to tidying up the room, knowing it would please Edd. He put their dirty clothes in the hamper and pulled out an old high school wrestling t-shirt and basketball shorts for Edd to wear. He fixed the blankets on the bed and slid underneath to wait for Edd. He heard the shower stop and soft footsteps pad his way. Once in the bedroom, Edd smiled bashfully at Kevin. 

 

“Feel better?” Kevin asked. Edd just nodded. “I put clothes on the dresser for you, but they might be a bit big.” 

 

“It’s okay. I appreciate the effort. It feels odd to be dressing in front of you, despite what we just did.” Edd blushed as he pulled the t-shirt over his head. 

 

“What we just did was have amazing sex. Like mindblowing.” Kevin teased. 

 

“So crass.” Edd tsked. 

 

“Get used to it. You’re stuck with me now.” Kevin patted the spot in the bed next to him. Edd climbed into bed and adjusted himself beside Kevin. 

 

“Stuck isn’t the right adjective. I’m gleefully willing to be with you, Kevin.” Edd said quietly. Kevin wrapped an arm around Edd’s waist and snuggled into the damp waves of his dark hair. 

 

“You’re so small.” Kevin noted with a happy sigh. 

 

“Am not!” Edd defended. 

 

“Give me your hand.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just show me.” Kevin took his hand and placed it over Edd’s. “Mine could crush yours so easily. You’re beautifully dainty.” 

 

“If you say so.” Edd giggled at feeling Kevin’s hand fully encompass his own. “Why did you call me Eddward as you orgasmed?” 

 

“It felt more personal.” Kevin mused, only now recalling that he had. “Everyone calls you Edd or Double Dee. But I want to be the only one who can call you Eddward.” 

 

“Then I must think of a personal name to refer to you as during intercourse.” Edd’s brows furrowed in concentration. 

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Kevin laughed easily. Neither man spoke for a moment. Kevin had wrapped his body around Edds and their relaxed breathing had begun to match. Just as they were drifting off to sleep, Edd spoke.

 

“Kevin, you make me so happy.” 

 

“Likewise, Edd.” Kevin gave a squeeze. “I’m really happy that my kid’s irritating door-to-door fundraiser brought us together.”

 

“Me too. I’ve spent the last several weeks trying to convince myself this isn’t some elaborate daydream.”  

 

“It’s not, baby. I’m all real, all the time. And right now I’m real tired.” Kevin yawned. “How do pancakes sound for breakfast?” 

  
“Absolutely, delicious, my love.” Edd whispered as he fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is almost out for the year. Like, seven more days. Hopefully more updates will happen quicker. I have the next two chapters typed, and some upcoming plot twists. Keep doing you! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Julia heavy chapter. I'm really loving all the reviews and positive reactions. I know this is a super unusual story so I'm glad people are liking it! I'm officially on summer break for school and now only have to juggle motherhood and work. ;) Enjoy this update! Thank you for the love!

The next morning, as sun began to sweep over the small back bedroom in Kevin Barr’s home, a mildly disoriented Edd awoke. Unlike in romantic movies, when he awoke he was not being tenderly cuddled by his lover. Instead, halfway through the night Kevin had begun to starfish out, with an arm and leg over Edd who had managed to wrap himself up in 90% of the shared blanket. Edd looked to his left and saw Kevin, still peacefully sleeping. Lying on his stomach with his mess of red hair covering his face. The constellation of freckles on his face, neck, and back seemed to dance in the morning sunlight. Edd sat up and smiled at the sleeping man. When Kevin was awake he was so stressed and worried about everything. But when he was asleep, Edd could almost see the 16 year old boy he’d had an enormous long distance crush on. 

 

Slowly moving from the bed, Edd winced. Mostly unused parts of his anatomy were aching. Edd was still swimming in Kevin’s t-shirt and basketball shorts. Somehow it felt both awkward and comfortable at the same time. Having not been on the charger, his phone had died at some point during the night and there was no clock in the bedroom. Having no idea what time it was, he decided he might as well begin his morning. He tiptoed from the bedroom and after using the restroom, he realized this was the first time he had ever been in Kevin’s house unattended. 

 

The house wasn’t dirty but it certainly wasn’t Edd’s level of desired clean either. Chaotically cluttered was a fitting word. Family pictures were all over the walls, some more crooked and dated than others. A Christmas snowman was still lingering on the entertainment center. Kevin and Edd’s shoes were lined up by the front door beside Julia’s. A stark contrast in size that made Edd grin. He wandered through the living room slowly, taking in the calming silence. 

 

Once in the kitchen he noted that the microwave revealed the time. 7:42am. The kitchen still had dirty dishes from last night’s family meal. It was also decorated for a family. Pictures Julia had colored were taped to the fridge with pride, along side appointment reminders, take out menus, and other scraps of personality. None of the dishware matched and most of it was plastic with a cartoon face on it. After some light searching, Edd managed to find ready-to-make blueberry pancake mix. Kevin had offered to make them, but he deserved to sleep in for once.  

 

Edd had made it through five pancakes before a small voice cracked the silence he had grown accustomed too. 

 

“Hi,” Julia greeted. Her braid had disappeared and was replaced with messy waves that fell to her shoulders. In her nightgown and tiny pink piggy slippers, she shouldn’t have terrified Edd as much as she did. 

 

“Oh, hello.” Edd returned quietly. Neither were expecting the other, so both remained frozen in place. The smell of burning pancakes pushed Edd to move first. He flipped the pancakes and watched as Julia made herself a cup of milk from the fridge. She climbed up on the stool and studied Edd as he tossed two more pancakes on a blue plate shaped like a star. 

 

“Those smell really good.” Julia said. 

 

“Thank you,” Edd smiled. “Would you like some?” 

 

“Yeah. Can I have my Minion plate?” 

 

“Minion plate? What is a Minion plate?” Edd questioned. Logically he knew what a minion was in literature terms but in this context it made no sense. 

 

“Um, Minions. The little yellow tic-tac guys from Despicable Me. They’re bad guys. But it’s okay because they’re really cute and dumb.” 

 

“Oh, alright. Where would I find one such plate?” 

 

“Dishwasher, I think.” Julia pointed to the appliance and watched carefully as Edd pulled out a yellow plate with yet another cartoon figure on it. She was right, it did look like a tic-tac wearing goggles and overalls. 

 

“How peculiar…” Edd mused as he brought it back to Julia. “How many would you like?”

 

“Two, please. You don’t know what a Minion is?” 

 

“No, it appears not. I don’t usually partake in cartoons.” Edd piled the pancakes on and offered her the syrup he had found in the cupboard. She nearly drown her breakfast in the sugar goop and just looking at it made his teeth hurt. He handed her a fork and set to making his own plate. 

 

“We will have to fix that.” Julia said with a mouth full of pancakes. Edd sat in the stool beside her and tried to ignore the fact she was getting syrup in her hair. 

 

“Fix what?” 

 

“You not watching cartoons. We love cartoons. Me and daddy have watched them forever. We don’t like the same things though. He likes this super old show called Courage the Cowardly and I had to force him to watch Trolls with me. But we both like Spongebob and Clifford the Big Red Dog.” 

 

“Clifford is a good show.” Edd commented on the only one that sounded vaguely familiar to him. Not usually great at small talk with adults, this conversation seemed easier somehow. Until she started asking the real questions. 

 

“Did you stay here last night?” 

 

“Yes, I did.” Edd said slowly. “Julia, may I tie your hair back? It seems you’re cleaning all the syrup from your plate with your hair.” 

 

“Sure,” she handed him a glittery green hair band from her wrist and he quickly tied her hair back in a low ponytail. 

 

“Much better.” Edd affirmed. 

 

“Much.” Julia agreed with another large bite of her pancakes. “Did you stay in my dad’s room?” 

 

“Um, yes.” Edd paused. The little girl didn’t seem bothered but then again he didn’t have much experience with small children. “Is that alright?”

 

“I don’t know. He seems happy when you’re around. I don’t like it when he’s grumpy.”

 

“Nor do I.” 

 

“You want him to be happy?” Julia questioned. 

 

“Since we were kids.” Edd said with a smile. 

“You really knew my dad when he was a kid?” 

 

“Of course. You look a lot like him. I also have known your aunt Nazz and her friend Eddy since we were children.” 

 

“Do all grown ups know each other?” Julia’s eyes widened. 

 

“Something like that.” Edd chuckled. “Do you mind if I keep seeing your dad?” 

 

“No, I guess not. My friend Andrew has two moms.” Julia said with a shrug.

 

“I’m sorry?” 

 

“He has two moms. Some kids like him have two moms. Some kids have a mom and a dad, like my other friend Angel. I never had a real mom so maybe I can have two dads.” Julia said this so casually she didn’t see Edd’s face turning a color similar to the red plastic mixing bowl on the counter. 

 

“Oh, um. Well, then.” Edd coughed awkwardly. Luckily, the conversation didn’t have to progress much further. From the doorway appeared a still groggy Kevin. 

 

“Thought I smelt food.” He yawned. Having swapped his boxers for pajama bottoms he still managed to look incredible. Edd felt a blush creep up his neck from recalling last night’s escapades. Kevin casually kissed Edd on the cheek and piled pancakes on his plate. Sitting next to Julia he wrapped her in a hug. 

 

“G’morning, Bluebird.” 

 

“Hi, daddy. Edd makes really good breakfast.”

 

“So, I’ve discovered.” Kevin said through a mouth full of breakfast. Like father, like daughter, Edd supposed. “Clean your face then you can go watch tv for a minute.” 

 

“Okay,” Julia hopped off the counter and went to the sink to wash her syrup face. Once she had padded into the living room and the volume was loud enough to drown out Edd and Kevin’s conversation, Kevin stood and kissed Edd properly on the mouth. 

 

“Good morning, handsome.” Kevin greeted. “Thanks for breakfast.” 

 

“Thanks for last night.” Edd said coyly, his gentle blush returning. 

 

“My pleasure.” Kevin winked. He set about cleaning up the kitchen and ordered Edd to sit down and act like a guest. “What were you and Jules talking about?” 

 

“Minions...and her friend Andrew.” 

 

“The only thing I know about Andrew is that he has two moms. What does that have anything to do with...oh.” Kevin laughed. “I hope she didn’t make you feel weird. First night you stay over and my kid is thinking she has two dads.” 

 

“No, it’s not that that I found curious.” Edd said with a small smile. “Julia said she didn’t have a  _ real  _ mom. What does that mean?” 

 

“Oh. Huh. Um.” Kevin took a swig of milk straight from the jug and replaced it, ignoring Edd’s wince of disgust. “She knows about her mom. She knows her mom is in heaven. But that’s all she knows...for now. I guess I’ll go over the family tree when she gets older but right now it’s too clusterfucked for a five year old to understand. Hell, some days it’s too much for adults to understand.”

 

“Heaven? I didn’t know you were practicing religion in raising her.” 

 

Kevin tapped the celtic cross on his shoulder before responding. “It’s not just because it looks hella cool. I was raised with church every Sunday. Now it’s more of an Easter and Christmas thing to appease my mom. But I figured heaven is an easier concept for her to understand than ‘into the void’ or some shit like that. At least heaven is a place.” 

 

“That makes sense.” Edd said quietly. “My parents never explained death to me in that way. People died, there was a memorial had, then they were burned or buried. That was that.” 

 

“Yikes, that’s cold.” 

“Yes, so are my parents if you recall.” Edd chuckled. 

 

“Yeah, so right now all she needs to know is how loved she is. By her mom, her dad, her entire family. All the weird uncle, dad, grandpa, shit we’ll work out later.”  Kevin walked over and kissed Edd again. 

 

“Sounds like an admirable course of action.” Edd smiled after the kiss. They were becoming more casual and frequent but still managed to spark every single one of Edd’s neurons. As this kiss was deepening Edd heard Kevin’s cell phone ring from the bedroom. Kevin went to go grab it and when he had returned Edd was sitting in the living room with Julia, being education on television. 

 

“Who was it?” Edd asked with a smile. 

 

“I don’t know. Restricted number.” Kevin shrugged it off, plunking down on the couch. 

 

“Probably a wrong number.” Edd suggested, and snuggled close to Kevin. Julia sensing no one was paying her any attention, crawled on the couch on the other side of Kevin. 

 

“Most likely.” Kevin said. With Edd on one side of him and Julia on the other, he had no curiosity for who was on the other end of the line.

 

Later that evening Edd was back home. He felt secure, comfortable, and somehow lonely. He had left the Barr’s residence around noon and spent the rest of the day running errands and catching up on chores. The noise of Kevin’s family made the silence of Edd’s life seem deafening. Edd was at his desk, working on an essay outline for his advanced American Government course, when the familiar  _ ping  _ sounded from his phone. Trading his pen for his phone he noted it was Eddy texting him. 

 

**Eddy: Hey man. Good weekend? Nazz and I are throwing a Halloween party. Wanna come?**

 

**Edd: I had a fine weekend, thank you. You’re plenty aware Halloween isn’t my most favorite holiday. Where is this party?**

 

**Eddy: The party's at my folks place. Their going out of town that weekend.**

 

**Edd: *They’re going to be out of town? Isn’t that a tad juvenile and cliche to be throwing a house party in your parent’s empty home?**

 

**Eddy: Don’t freaking correct me man. It’s ducking annoying. Do you have the space to put twenty drunk horny twenty somethings? No. Didn’t think so. The ‘rents basement it is! You in?**

 

**Eddy: FUCKING. Seriously. Does anyone ever mean ducking?**

 

**Edd: I assume someone somewhere must use ‘ducking’ enough to have it be utilized for auto correct.**

 

**Eddy: Or my phone is a prude. So. Halloween party? Slutty costumes. Spiked halloween punch. Retro spin the bottle.**

 

**Edd: Do I actually have a choice in the matter?**

 

**Eddy: Do you ever?**

 

**Edd: I’ll consider it.**

 

**Eddy: Bet your bf wants to come. ;P ;P**

 

**Edd: Knock it off, Eddy….**

 

**Edd:  I’ll ask him. :)**

 

**Eddy: see you love birds then.**

 

Edd looked at the calendar, sure enough, October had flown by and now Halloween was a little more than two weeks away. A time when he and his friends got up to their sneakiest of mischief. Edd briefly wondered who all Nazz had invited and of those whom would actually show up. He had never been much of a costume person but remembered Kevin on the other hand loved dressing up and causing chaos. However that was many years ago. Would Kevin even want to go to a halloween party with him...as boyfriends? Before Edd could lose himself down the rabbit hole of self doubt and over thinking, his phone  _ pinged  _ again. 

 

**Kevin: Hey, DD. Nazz is throwing a halloween party. When Nazz throws a party, she throws it big. Want to go with me? We don’t have to do a cheesy couple costume though. Just want to party with my boyfriend. :P**

 

**Edd: Word seems to travel fast in this circle. Edd just finished telling me the same thing. I would love to accompany you to the gathering.**

 

**Kevin: Awesome! <3 :D **


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is LOOOOONG. And honestly, I'm not that big a fan of it. Took a few risks, not sure how they'll turn out. Mild drug use TW. Just marijuana, not heroin or anything. This chapter sets up a few things later on. I'm sure that you'll let me know what you think.

The afternoon of Halloween was as normal as any other day. A side effect of being an adult is leaning that Halloween is not a national holiday that rightfully deserves the day off work and school. Edd joined Kevin, Julia, and Nazz at Kevin’s home around 5pm, just in time to get a very hyper five year old ready for trick-or-treating. She would be spending the entire weekend with Ann and Rudy after asking strangers for candy, giving Kevin a rare youth like weekend. Kevin and Edd had even decided on a non cheesy couple’s costume. When Edd walked in the door Nazz was dressed as Snow White and piling orange goop on the child’s face. Aftering bouncing between Spider Girl, a butterfly, or a Glitter Ninja, Julia had decided on a vampire tiger. No one had the energy to argue with her anymore about her costume so they decided to let the whole thing go. 

 

“Hi, Edd.” Nazz greeted. She had on a black wig with a red ribbon and truly looked the princess part. 

 

“Greetings, Nazz. Hello, Julia.” Edd smiled. Julia was already wearing her tiger printed morph suit and was playing with her long fabric tail as Nazz worked on her face paint. 

 

“I’m going to be the coolest vampire tiger ever.” Julia bragged. 

 

“You very well may be the only vampire tiger ever.” Edd laughed lightly. 

 

“Kevin’s in the bathroom getting his face ready. I really dig your costumes. It’s classy and understated while still spooky.” Nazz said approvingly. 

 

“Thank you. I had nothing to do with it and argued in favor of going as ourselves. Apparently that’s not in the spirit of the holiday.” Edd nearly pouted. 

 

“It’s not!” Julia challenged. “I never get to be a cool vampire tiger. But tonight? I’m an awesome vampire tiger who gets free candy.”

 

“This girl has her life priorities in order.” Nazz giggled as she painted a black stripe on the girl’s orange face. 

 

“It appears so.” Edd said as he headed down the hall. In the bathroom Kevin was already in his costume and was putting the finishing touches on his face. The ginger man had finally convinced his boyfriend to go dressed as the haunted dead lovers from a horror movie Kevin loved and Edd had tried to ignore. The costume consisted of a simple black suit and elaborate skeleton face paint. Nothing gaudy or embarrassing but still pretty damn cool, even Edd had to admit. Kevin had already applied the white base and was now working on the black around his eyes and mouth. 

 

“Hey, babe.” Kevin said without looking away from the mirror. 

“You’re rather skilled at that, Kevin.” Edd noticed his dead lover’s attention to detail and unblinking reflection. 

 

“Hidden talent, I guess. I freaking love this shit. I got really into it when I was, like 15. There’s something so empowering about being hidden behind a mask or facepaint. No one knows it’s you egging their house or...other things I definitely didn’t do. Then I started doing matching costumes with Julia until this year when apparently I’m not cool enough to be a vampire tiger.” Kevin laughed to himself. “You can go dress in my room then I’ll do your makeup.” 

 

“Oh, alright.” Edd said. He had brought over a black suit, used exclusively for weddings and funerals, earlier in the week. Getting dressed he wondered how he had gotten to this point in his life, trick or treating with Kevin and his daughter and Nazz...then going to a party being currently set up by Eddy. He could be home reading and in bed by ten, like last year. But as he finished dressing in his suit, he realized he was actually having fun with it. It helped that there was only a 25% chance Kevin would steal his candy and toss toilet paper in his trees, unlike in their childhood escapades. Back in the bathroom, Kevin was done with his makeup and waiting for Edd. 

 

“Damn, baby. You look great.” Kevin gushed as Edd appeared. 

 

“Thank you. I’m not even dead yet.” Edd said bashfully as he sat down on the closed toilet lid. “Your makeup, though not skeletally correct, looks terrific. Very spooky.” 

 

“I wasn’t going for correct.” Kevin kissed Edd’s nose. “I was going for a spooky scary skeleton...and maybe sexy. Now hold still. I don’t want to smudge your bone structure.”

 

Twenty minutes later Nazz was on the lawn snapping pictures Kevin and Julia in their costumes. Respectfully, Edd stood beside Nazz watching the duo make silly faces at the camera.  

 

“Edd, come here!” Julia said after several photos. “You look super cool.” 

 

“Are you sure?” Edd hesitated. After the first morning Edd had woken up in Kevin’s home, the men decided the let Julia decide just how involved Edd would be in their private home life. The entire relationship was only about two months old but something about it felt solid and safe. Even more so when Julia invited Edd to help her with homework or into family pictures. 

 

“Yeah!” Julia eagerly waved him over. Edd tiptoed in and Kevin put an arm around his waist and Julia stood in between them smiling. Nazz snapped the picture and looked at it on her phone. 

“Perfect,” She complimented. “Absolutely perfect.” 

 

Later that night, after a makeup touch up and a beer run, Edd and Kevin arrived at Eddy’s home. Nazz only stopped at a few houses with them before returning to Party Central to help Eddy set up. The exterior of the house had cheesy childlike halloween decorations and looked the way it had for as long as they’d known it. 

 

“Damn, it’s super weird to be willingly going into Eddy’s house.” Kevin laughed. He had a case of beer in one hand and Edd’s hand in his other. Tonight Edd’s hair hung loose in dark waves that framed his face and accentuated his wide sapphire eyes. Kevin had slicked back his orange hair and together they looked both scary and sexy. 

 

“Oh, geez. You two with this childish feud.” Edd was exasperated as he pushed open the unlocked front door. “You are in your mid-twenties now. I believe the statute of limitations has expired.”

 

“What if I said it was just because I was jealous of how much time he got to spend with you?” Kevin leaned down and whispered into Edd’s ear, sending chills down his spine. 

 

“That would be enticing, were it to be true.” Edd teased. 

 

“It’s half true. The other half being that Eddy’s a dick sometimes.” Kevin shrugged and followed Edd into the kitchen where he shoved the beer in the fridge. The upstairs had fake spider webs and and a propped up skeleton wearing the Grim Reaper’s robes. The lights were dimmed and from the stereo in the corner classic scary music was being played. 

 

“Man, I kind of expected more. Ya know?” Kevin noted as the went downstairs. Eddy's parents had a 1970’s style home complete with a finished basement that had a bar, fireplace, and large entertaining space.  The walls were decorated with fake blood. More cobwebs are on all touchable surfaces. Though, the scariest thing in the house was Eddy and Nazz making out in a recliner unaware, that their first guests had shown up. 

 

“Get a room!” Kevin mocked playfully, with perhaps a tinge too much hostility in his voice. 

 

“It's my house and we technically are in a room.” Eddy fired back as Nazz got off his lap to greet Edd and Kevin. Nazz was no longer the pristine princess figure she was hours ago. Her Snow White gown was replaced with a silver flapper’s dress styled from the 1920’s. It was short and low cut and the fabric was swishy and by all means she should be freezing. 

 

“You guys look great!” Nazz squealed. “I mean it looked good while trick or treating but now it looks really awesome.” 

 

“Thank you, Nazz. You too look... awesome?” Edd tried. He had never quite understood female costume desires to look as provocative as possible. But Nazz looked happy and comfortable and that was enough for him. 

 

“Damn right she does.” Eddy boasted. He was also was wearing a roaring 20’s style costume, opting for zoot suit gangster to compliment Nazz’s flapper.  

 

“I apologize for being so early.” Edd said. “I wished to help set up.”

 

“We wouldn’t expect anything less than punctual from you.” Nazz smiled. “Kev, can you help me drag a table down here?” 

 

“Sure, thing.” Kevin followed Nazz upstairs and left the Edd’s alone to set up the basement.

 

An hour later and nearly everyone was crowded downstairs, drinking, talking, and dancing to the music that had been changed from spooky sounds to Top 40 Pop Hits. Ed, Edd, and Eddy were in a corner with their respective partners. This was the first time Kevin and Nazz had met Brittney, Ed’s girlfriend. She was actually fairly beautiful. She had long wavy brunette hair, warm brown eyes, and a caramel complexion. It was easy to say that Ed had landed a girl far out of his league. She was also eight months pregnant and opted for a comfortable maxi-dress in the colors of candy corn instead of a costume. Ed however, was dressed as DeadPool. 

 

“Thanks for inviting me.” Brittney said kindly after a minute of awkward silence. They were all sitting on the sofa and chairs that were pushed off to the side of the room. “I wanted to meet Ed’s friends. Just didn’t plan on being a planet when I did.” 

 

“Of course!” Nazz smiled, trying to make the new girl feel comfortable. “We should have done this awhile ago but no one has the time anymore!” 

 

“You’re telling me. If I’m not at work I’m asleep. Work is actually where I met Ed.” 

 

“Really?” Edd asked. “I didn’t know that.”

 

“Yeah. I’ve been working there since high school. He showed up and work stopped sucking. Made me laugh.”  Brittney lovingly patted Ed’s knee, who was now staring off into space. Ed wasn’t disabled or anything of the like, he just wasn’t an intelligent man. Many blamed it one his mother refusing to quit drinking while pregnant with him, one too many brain cells burned. 

 

“You’re the first girl to stick around with the big Lunk.” Eddy said with humor. 

 

“Not like I have much choice.” Brittney joked and patted her stomach. “Hey, Ed. Help me up, gotta pee again.” she nudged her boyfriend who then helped tug her to her feet. 

 

“I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” Nazz said standing. Brittney followed Nazz to the much quieter upstairs. After Brittany had returned, Nazz dove in. 

 

“Hey, I know we just met and everything, but I’ve gotta know. What do you even see in Ed? I’ve known him since we were kids...and I can’t see it.”

 

“Neither can my friends or parents.” Brittney laughed. “He’s sweet and funny. I talk a lot and he listens a lot. We had similar childhoods. Things just clicked. Also, just between us girls, he’s not bad in the bedroom. This kid wasn’t created on the first go ‘round.” 

 

“Oh, my god.” Nazz laughed heartily. “I cannot even begin to process that. But to be fair, Eddy isn’t much classier. Something about the Ed’s suck us poor girls in. Probably the bedroom skills.” Nazz winked which sent Brittney giggling again. The girl’s headed downstairs still laughing at themselves. 

 

“I don’t like the look of that, Eddy.” Ed commented. 

 

“There are a myriad of topics they could be discussing.” Edd tried to reassure. 

 

“No, Sockhead. Lumpy’s, right. The only thing those girls have in common is us. Highly suspect.” Eddy mused. 

 

“Don’t be so sure. Besides what could they even be discussing about you two?” Edd asked. 

 

“Sex stuff.” Ed muttered. 

 

“Exactly.” Eddy agreed. The girls returned to their circle and sat beside their respective partners. 

 

“What were you ladies giggling at?” Eddy asked, trying to appear casual. All this did was send the women back into fits of laughter. 

 

“Check it out. The brainiacs were right.” Kevin grinned and took a sip of his beer. He had his arm around Edd who was comfortably leaning into him. 

 

“It would appear so.” Edd said with a smile. The smile turned to confusion when he saw Kevin silencing his phone. It appeared the mystery caller was back. Not bothering to address it, the night pressed on in good spirits. 

 

It wasn’t much longer before she was too exhausted to carry on and Brittney had headed home, asking someone else to bring Edd home in the morning. Kevin and Nazz were hanging out near the bar while the Edds had separated themselves to a corner, out of ancient habit. While Nazz and Kevin were talking, Rolf approached them. 

 

“Ah, Kevin and Nazz Girl! It is so nice to see my friends again!” The man wrapped them in an awkward embrace. “Kevin I hear you are in the family way. Many congratulations! Is it right to assume you and she have become a package deal in the baby raising?” 

 

“My baby is actually five and no, Nazz is not...in my package.” Kevin laughed. Nazz stifled a snort of laughter.

 

“Oi, my mistake! Then where is the luckiest of lady? Is she here? Should I sing her the song of new meetings?” Rolf looked wildly around the room as Edd left his group to say hello to Rolf.  “Oh, hello Double Edd boy. Have you seen the love of Kevin’s? I wish to greet her as new friends turned old.” 

 

“Hey, babe.” Kevin smirked as Edd came to his side, the pair kissed briefly. “Edd, meet Rolf. Rolf, the love of Kevin. Actually you two may have met before, but I can’t remember.” 

 

“Oh. Well. I have been gone for a long time.” Rolf said quickly. “Many congratulations, friends of Rolf! Rolf and all his cousins will bless this partnership! We shall send wedding goats.”

 

“Thank you very much, Rolf.” Edd was nearly in pain from holding back his laughter. “Please, never send me a goat.” 

 

“I shall find something more suitable! Much love between the loves. I must go find other friend’s of Rolf’s before I leave for home. Talk then! Farewell!” and with that Rolf went back to the crowd to find someone else to babble to. 

 

“Holy, shit. That was hilarious.” Nazz cackled, having remained silent through the awkward exchange. “Is there anyone else who doesn’t know you two are together?” 

 

“We aren’t your play toys, Nazz.” Kevin scoffed as Eddy and Ed approached again. 

“Why is Rolf asking about our gender ambiguous loves?” Eddy asked. 

 

“I had to tell him I am having a kid with a woman like three times.” Ed added. 

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Edd said with a giggle. “Just Rolf being Rolf.” 

 

“Speaking of kids, where is yours tonight?” Ed asked. While everyone else was talking Kevin had pulled out five shot glasses and the bottle of Hennessy. 

 

“With the grandparents until Sunday night.” He said with a wry smile as he poured everyone a shot of whiskey. “Daddy’s getting fucked up tonight.” Kevin slammed his shot back and the others followed suit, even Edd who was not much of a shot taker. 

 

“He doesn’t make you call him that in bed, does he Double Dee?” Eddy asked with a smirk. Everyone began cackling at the sight of Edd’s scarlett complexion and stuttering embarrassment. 

Two hours later, many people had left in search of better parties. Edd had over socialized and was now sitting on the couch scrolling through an interesting article regarding penguins on his phone. He was plenty ready to go, but Kevin was still having fun. He, Nazz and some gentleman whom worked with Eddy were playing darts on the ancient corkboard glued to the wall. Eddy and Ed were in a heated debate about which car engine was the best...or something similar to that. Truthfully, Edd was fairly inebriated and trying to center himself. He was nearly sober once more, when Eddy grabbed his sleeve and dragged him upstairs with Ed. 

 

“W-where are we going, Eddy?” Edd managed as they clambered up the stairs. 

 

“My room. I think I left something here the last time I visited my folks a few months back.” Eddy explained vaguely. 

 

“What is it?” Ed asked. Eddy guided them back to his childhood bedroom and without speaking, the Edd’s assumed their natural positions. Edd sat on the bed, his back against the wall and Ed sat in an old beanbag on the floor. Eddy, however was digging in the bottom of his dresser for something. 

 

“Eddy, what on Earth are you scavenging for?” 

 

“What any man keeps in the bottom of his dresser. The good porn and my stash.” Eddy muttered. “Jackpot!” 

 

“Your stash?  _ The  _ stash?” Ed asked, somewhat intrigued. 

 

“You couldn’t possibly mean…” Edd said. 

 

“Oh, but I do Double Dweeb.” Eddy said cunningly. Taking the lid off an old shoebox and familiar scent eased its way into the room. 

 

“Awesome. I haven’t been able to do this in forever.” Ed said with a sloppy grin. 

 

“Neither have I.” Edd agreed quietly. 

 

“Well, tonight that ends.” Eddy said as he set to work on carefully packing a purple and green glass pipe with ground up pot. He lit it and took the first hit. 

 

“Fuck, yeah.” Eddy sighed upon exhaling and passing it to Edd. Edd mimicked the actions, quite familiar with them, and passed to Ed. Eddy sat next to Edd on the bed and slightly leaned against his friend for both stabilization and comradery. 

 

Of course it was Eddy who first introduced the group to smoking weed, having learned from his older brother the summer between ninth and tenth grade. His brother was a middle man, Eddy paid him too much for too little to get it from his brother’s dealer. Ed was on board immediately while Edd took more time to convince. Met with outcries of it being illegal, unsanitary, and unsafe...until he tried it. 

 

Almost immediately sixteen year old Double Dee felt the anxiety leave his body. He was no longer trembling with the stress of AP Calculus and letting his parents down. His mind slowed to a stop and all of his nagging worries and insecurities seemed as intangible as the smoke itself. Being high was one of the only times Edd felt calm, he was too stoned to think a million thoughts a moment. Eddy and Ed smoked to feel badass. Edd smoked to feel human. 

 

However when he left university dorms and moved into his own apartment, he didn’t have easy access to Eddy and his  _ stash  _ anymore. He chalked up to a rebellious phase in his teenage days and moved on, not having smoked in nearly two years. 

 

“Thank the lord.” Edd moaned, exhaling smoke and nearly 13 nagging thoughts. “I had missed this very much.” 

 

“Brittney doesn’t like pot.” Ed complained and passed to Edd. “She can’t know I’m doing this.”

 

“Ahh, the secrets start early.” Eddy laughed. 

 

“The secrets never end.” Edd mused, taking a hit, and passing it to Eddy. “My face paint is itchy.” 

 

“It doesn’t look great anymore. Looks like you have the plague.” Ed noted. 

 

“Oh no,” Edd giggled and put his head on Eddy’s shoulder. “I do wish I had a wet nap.” 

 

“Always the lightweight.” Eddy muttered and took the blunt straight from Ed, skipping the rotation. It was another few minutes of lazy babble before there were voices in the hall and a loud knock on the door. 

 

“It’s the invaders.” Ed shouted. This sent Eddy and Edd into fits of laughter. The door opened and Nazz and Kevin stood there looking at the scene in front of them. Ed stretched out on the floor. Edd had his legs dangling off the foot of the bed and his head in Eddy’s lap who was sitting up and taking a hit off the dying blunt. 

 

“Hey, cutie. Hey, Shovel Chin. Come in and shut the door or leave and shut the door.” Eddy said as he handed it to Edd for his turn. 

 

“Holy fuck, Nazz. Look at the burnouts” Kevin laughed. They stepped into the room and shut the door behind them. There were now five adult bodies crammed into a small bedroom. Kevin pulled Edd off of Eddy and then sat on the desk chair, pulling Edd into his lap. Nazz took Edd’s position on the bed.

 

“You were a virgin until two weeks ago but you’re also a pothead?” Kevin teased, wrapping his arms around Edd’s waist and kissing his neck. 

 

“It would appear so.” Edd’s voice was soft and smooth. 

 

“I had no idea you two were in on this.” Nazz said, referring to Ed and Double Dee.

 

“No joke.” Kevin said. “We started doing this in ninth grade? And right across the cul-de-sac the Ed’s were toking up too.” 

 

“Maybe we all could have been friends much sooner.” Ed wondered aloud. Eddy was working on packing a fresh pipe, for the two newcomers. 

 

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Eddy muttered bitterly. “Kev here did try to run me over at least twelve times.” 

 

“Stop fucking with me and I’ll stop fucking with you.” Kevin half snapped. 

 

“Please play nice.” Edd pleaded. “I’m far too floaty to break up any fights.” 

 

“Damn, Edd.” Nazz giggled. “You’re adorable when you’re stoned.” 

 

“Grown men aren’t adorable, Nazz.” Ed scolded. 

 

“This one is.” Kevin purred into Edd’s ear and kissed the tender part of the back of his neck. Edd reached behind him and stroked Kevin’s hair. 

 

“Alright, that’s enough. We’re smoking, not starting a porno.” Eddy dramatized. Nazz just rolled her eyes and pulled from the pipe.

 

“I dunno. One girl, four guys, seems like a few I’ve watched.” Nazz teased.

 

“Shut up, blondie.” Eddy said with a smile and leaned down to kiss her forehead. 

 

“You know,” Ed started. “This could be the last time my life is normal.”

 

“It’s the last time any of our lives could be normal. Normal is always changing. Nothing is as it is, will be, or should be.” Edd responded. 

 

“I’m either not as high as you are, or you’re not as deep as you think you are.” Kevin laughed. 

 

“It’s a good night.” Nazz sighed. 

 

“Yeah, good night.” Eddy agreed. The room fell silent, each trapped in their own thoughts about halloweens’ past, unaware of the halloweens’ to follow. 

  
**In case you were curious here are their costume inspirations:**

[Kevin and Edd's Costume ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ce/8d/a7/ce8da70f77c5142796a0f9101673975b.jpg)

[Nazz and Eddy's Costume](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7d/3e/88/7d3e880789e72ceabb7647af3ea29e59.jpg)

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly appreciate all the reviews I receive. They make me so happy. ^_^ Here is the next installment...Enjoy!

Halloween passed, as did Thanksgiving, and now Christmas was encroaching. Edd had finished his final winter exam and was now lounging on his couch with his feet in Kevin’s lap. Kevin was watching SportsCenter and Julia was playing on the floor with a puzzle, coloring book, and Barbies. 

 

The trio had taken to spending some days at Edd’s apartment for a change of scenery. Julia found the apartment lifestyle fascinating, so many families crammed into one building. It even had its own pool and playground Edd promised she could use in the spring. Since Julia had begun visiting, Edd learned that his neighbors on either side had children around the same age as her. It seemed children could sniff each other out and screech their desire to play with one another. Playing as it seemed, involved running up and down the corridors and stairs while shouting. Today though, it was as quiet as the snow that drifted down. Until Kevin’s phone began to chime. 

 

“Who would that be?” Edd asked, looking up from his thick novel. 

 

“Don’t know, don’t care. It’s that restricted number again. Always calling, never leaving a voicemail.” 

 

“How mysterious.” Edd mused. This number had been calling and hanging up for weeks. At first just once in awhile, then once a week, now it was sometimes twice a day. Kevin never seemed bothered but it was becoming increasingly obnoxious to Edd.

 

“Not really,” Kevin murmured but Edd didn’t hear, having already returned to his book. 

 

Days later around 11 pm, Edd was staying the night at Kevin’s home again. He now had an official drawer, which according to Ed was a big deal. Ed refused to move Brittney’s belongings into his apartment until the ultrasound, proving she was pregnant. Even then it was a really big deal to share living quarters with a significant other. 

 

“I’ve missed you.” Edd muttered into Kevin’s mouth through a kiss. Edd was straddling Kevin who was working to remove his boyfriend’s sleep shirt. 

 

“I’ve been working extra shifts, not moving to Canada.” Kevin chuckled as he pulled Edd’s tank top over his head. He pulled Edd close and began kissing his neck, collarbone, and working his hand down the back of his pajama pants. Edd was running his fingers eagerly through Kevin’s hair and grinding down on his thigh. 

 

“More money for Christmas. Seems my babies are a bit spoiled. The both of you.” Kevin nudged Edd off of him and rolled on top. 

 

“I do believe everything I could want for Christmas is lying on top of me at this moment.” Edd smiled and began freeing himself from his pants. Before Kevin could further his motions, his phone began trilling from across the room. 

 

“God damn.” Kevin kissed Edd’s collarbone and jumped off to see who was calling at this hour. 

 

“Don’t tell me it’s that mystery caller again.” Edd groaned. “Just answer it already, tell them they’ve got the wrong number. It’s probably just a cold caller trying to sell you a subscription for bad magazines.” 

 

“I don’t have to answer it. I know who it is.” Kevin said quietly, switching his ringer off and returning to bed, sitting on the edge. 

 

“Then who?” Edd asked, kissing Kevin’s neck and trying to continue their foreplay. 

 

“It’s Jackson Waters.” Kevin groaned and moved an inch away from Edd. 

 

“Who is that?” Edd’s mind was buzzing and he was trying to comprehend his boyfriend’s worried face. He put a comforting hand on Kevin’s shoulder and waited for an explanation, trying not to jump to the violent ex-boyfriend conclusion. 

 

“Jackson Waters is Amanda’s ex-boyfriend.” Kevin muttered, running his hand through his hair. 

 

“Meaning?”

 

“Meaning...he’s Julia’s biological father. Somehow he found my number and now won’t stop calling me. I guess it wouldn’t be hard to track down your own kid...especially with my name all over the adoption papers. Thanks to dear old Google, no one can truly disappear anymore, unless you’re a special kind of crazy.”

 

“What does he want?” 

 

“No idea. I answered the phone once and all he said was his name before he pussed out and hung up. I’m not a moron and remember the man who dropped Amanda like a sack of pregnant potatoes. I haven’t answered since.” 

 

“Oh.” Edd removed his hand and put it in his lap. 

 

“Yeah. I don’t know if he wants to meet me, see her, pay child support, or jam a stick of dynamite into my life.” Kevin groaned. 

 

“You won’t know until you answer the call.” Edd whispered. 

 

“No, I won’t. I don’t know if I’m happier knowing or not knowing.” 

 

“How long have you been aware of this man trying to contact you and or your daughter?” 

 

“About three weeks after we got together. She’s  _ my _ daughter but she’s also not my daughter. She’s his. She has half of his DNA and only a quarter of mine.” Kevin’s voice had taken a sharp tinge that Edd was not used to. “What if that’s what he’s going to try and do? Take her?” 

 

“Kevin, you’ve known for months. Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” Edd asked, leaning against the pillows at the top of the bed. Kevin had taken to pacing around the room, like an anxious leopard looking for a way out of its enclosure.

 

“Because I knew if I talked to you about it, you would be all rational and shit and make me talk to my daughter’s father.” Kevin’s voice was rising. Edd had nearly forgotten how loud and forceful Kevin could be. From years of football, baseball, and wrestling, not to mention bullying friends and crushes alike in childhood. Usually, when he spoke to Edd it was soft and gentle, the way one would speak to a fawn in order not to frighten it. 

 

“Well of course! It’s insane to be worried over fictional problems and until you confront him this is all fictional. Perhaps he is calling you to clear his conscience, never wanting to make actual contact with her?” Edd shot back, his volume beginning to match Kevin’s. 

 

“He could take her. I’m 22, gay, uneducated, and struggling to raise her most days. What if he waltzes in all grown, married, straight, with a great job. The courts  _ love  _ reuniting biological parents to their kids with complete disregard for who has actually been raising them. You see it on the news all the time.” Kevin’s voice was echoing in the room, panicked by the mere concept of losing his child.  

 

“Again, you don’t know until you answer the call. You’re hiding things and making yourself crazy over nothing!” Edd stood to answer a tiny knock on the door. He grabbed his tank top off the floor and put it back on before saying, “In the meantime, I do believe you have woken her.” 

 

“Why shouting?” the sleepy girl asked when the door was opened. Her pajama bottoms didn’t match her top and her sleep mussed hair fell down to her elbows. In her hand was a small bunny, dragged by its ear. She was the picture of childhood innocence, completely unaware of the parental dilemma encircling her. Kevin scooped her up, dwarfing the girl. 

 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He whispered. “Didn’t mean to wake you.” 

 

“You didn’t. Bad dream did. The yelling just kept me awake.” Julia yawned. Always dainty, she was still able to comfortably snuggle into her father’s side as he carried her to the bed he was planning on sharing with Edd that night. Edd moved from the bed, unsure of what to do. 

 

“What was the dream?” Edd asked, re-tying his hair back, the more enjoyable events of earlier long forgotten. 

 

“Giant shark ate me up in two bites.” Julia retold. 

 

“Not only is that irrational it’s also impossible.” Edd explained. Kevin rolled his eyes, not knowing how well this attempt at comforting would work.

 

“What do you mean?” Julia asked. 

 

“We are in a landlocked state. Meaning no ocean anywhere near us. Meaning no sharks, giant or otherwise.” Edd said. 

 

“Oh,” Julia’s face looked calmer. “What about giant squids?”

 

“No, the worst we’ve got is some angry catfish in the lakes and even they don’t much like the taste of people.” 

 

“What were you and Daddy yelling about? Are you mad at each other?” Julia’s next question was more difficult. 

 

“Mad, no.” Edd started. “Frustrated, slightly.” 

 

“Don’t worry about it, Bluebird. Big people issues.” Kevin kissed her head. “It’s late. Get a cup of water and go back to bed.” 

 

“I want to sleep in here. Away from catfish.” Julia whined, wrapping her arms around Kevin’s neck. 

 

“I-I can sleep on the couch.” Edd offered, already having one foot out the door. 

 

“No!” Julia shouted. “You stay too. I’m safer in the middle.” 

 

“Uh,” Edd looked at Kevin, trying to gauge how he felt about this. Julia still often slept with Kevin for comfort, security, and the joy of being an only child to a single parent. However, she never did when Edd slept over and if she found herself needing Kevin in the night, Kevin went to her. 

 

“You heard the girl. I’ll shove over.” Kevin took place against the wall and Julia curled into his side. Edd slowly edged into bed, trying not to move too much or too quickly. He had slept alone most of his life, until Kevin. Even when sleeping at Eddy or Edd’s house he found himself more comfortable sleeping in the corner of Ed’s room or pushing Eddy off his own bed. 

 

“Better?” Edd asked, rolling onto his side.

 

“Yeah,” Julia yawned. She was lying on her back between Edd and Kevin, falling back asleep feeling warm and safe with her bunny clutched to her chest. Edd and Kevin stared at each other over her head. 

 

“I’ll deal with it.” Kevin promised in a whisper. 

 

“I know.” Edd said, trying not to be angry about Kevin keeping things from him. 

 

“Sorry, about this.” Kevin muttered, gently stroking Julia’s hair. 

 

“No worries. I get to finish my book now.” Edd smiled, teasingly, poking his tongue through the gap in his teeth. Edd picked his book up off the floor and opened to his bookmarked page. 

 

“Whatever, dork.” Kevin laughed and pulled his phone from his pajama pants pocket, mindlessly scroll for awhile. They fell into comforting silence, each doing their own thing while Julia snoozed between them. As Edd was drifting off, the words on his page blurring together, he felt his side of the bed get warmer. Julia had rolled over and snuggled against his chest, snoring lightly and cuddling deep. Taking this as a sign, Edd yawned, took off his glasses, closed his book, and wrapped his arm around her, ready for sleep as well. Kevin smiled upon seeing this and set his phone down. 

 

“Hey, Edd?” Kevin said softly, switching off the lamp on the bedside table.

 

“Hmm?” Edd managed. 

 

“I love you.” 

 

“Kevin…” Edd’s eyes opened and tried to focus on Kevin’s face in the dark. 

 

“You don’t have to say it back. I understand if you want to think.” 

 

“You’ve been far too ridiculous tonight.” Edd huffed. 

 

“What the hell?”

 

“Kevin, if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t be lying in your bed holding your daughter as she sleeps. If I didn’t love you, I would not spend most of my days thinking of you and of she. When I’m with you two, I feel happy and calm. So, yes, Kevin. I love you too.” 

 

“Why are you always so good with words? It’s obnoxious.” Kevin teased. 

 

“You love it,” Edd said with a smile. Kevin moved closer and kissed Edd softly on the lips. 

 

“I love you.” 

 

A few hours later, once Kevin was positive the other two were asleep, he crawled over them and off the bed. He walked out to the living room that was dark except for the Christmas tree, dancing with sparkling lights. It had taken him an hour to untangle the mess of lights but watching Julia teach Edd about Santa and Edd teach Julia about the accurate history of Christmas, was hilarious enough to make up for it. It was four in the morning when Kevin sat down on the edge of the couch and stared at his phone screen, a picture of Julia on Thanksgiving was smiling back at him. Taking every ounce of courage he had, Kevin called the number that was burned in his brain. 

 

“Hi, this is Jack Waters. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I can.” the voicemail recited. A strong, masculine, voice. Jackson’s message seemed in control and confident and made Kevin’s back sweat. 

 

“Hey, man. This is Kevin. Uh, Barr. Julia’s...dad. You know who I am. Look, I’ve been dodging your calls, obviously. My boyfriend finally convinced me to call you back. I don’t know what you want with me or my daughter, but if you want to talk about it meet me at the Peach Pit on Saturday, around 6. Don’t call me back before then. There’s a...uh, good chance I’ll back out if we talk. I’m not bringing her. She doesn’t know about you. I guess...I guess I’ll see you then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun DUUUNN!!! The mystery caller has been revealed! Baby Daddy Drama at its finest. Hope you stick around to find out how this plays out. ;P Review, leave Kudos, bookmark, etc. I love it all! Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you all are enjoying the curve ball I tossed at you. ^_^ I hope you keep up with the story as I am loving writing it. I have a vague idea of where this is going but sometimes it's a surprise even to me.

5:45 pm in the Peach Pit was not crowded, which is half why Kevin had chosen it. The other reason being, it was his turf. He felt more confident sitting in the booth picking at his beer label in his territory. Edd was sitting beside him, trying to be comforting but also not sure what to say. 

 

“No matter what happens, you’re her dad. She knows that.” Edd said, taking Kevin’s hand and giving it a squeeze as a tall brunette man walked towards them. Kevin got out of the booth and firmly shook the other man’s hand, aggressively staring him down. 

 

“Hello, Jackson.” Edd said evenly as the other two sat down.

 

“Jack, actually.” the man smiled. “I’m sorry, I never got your name.” 

 

“Edd. I’m Kevin’s boyfriend.” 

 

“Ah, you’re the mind behind this meeting. I really appreciate it.” Jack’s voice was quiet. Kevin was studying him harder then he had studied for any test in his life. Trying to find similarities between Julia and him, similarities he didn’t- couldn’t- have. The nose. He had a slightly upturned nose like hers. The widow’s peak. The ears. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

 

“Jack...I don’t want to be a dick.” Kevin started. “But can we skip the small talk? What do you want? After almost six years, what could you possibly want?” 

 

“I-I don’t know.” Jack’s voice broke. “I didn’t think I’d get this far.” 

 

“A man with a plan, fantastic.” Kevin snapped. 

 

“Jack...this is extremely difficult. For everyone. Please, take a moment and consider what you are doing and what you want to come of this. Julia is but a little girl, we should not launch her life into turmoil until we have carefully thought of every step. What prompted you to seek us out?” Edd’s tone was cold and clinical. Kevin was suddenly struck with how grateful he was to have brought his boyfriend, the robotic scientist. Not only could Edd shut down any emotion in a scenario and keep a cool head, only seeing the logic. He was also fiercely loyal and refused to leave Kevin alone during this. 

 

“My wife.” Jack said while rotating his gold ring around his finger. “She’s pregnant, it’s a boy. She doesn’t know about Julie or Amanda. I want to get to know my daughter...before I meet my son.” 

 

“Julia. It’s Julia.” Kevin hissed. “My daughter’s name is Julia.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” Jack whispered. 

 

“Jackson. This was a bad idea, I believe.” Edd sighed. “You shouldn’t have done this. It seems all you want is to feel better about abandoning your girlfriend and daughter six years ago.” 

 

“No, no, it’s not. Really.” Jack said, locking eyes with Edd. “Please, you’ve gotta understand. I was only 21. I had a full ride football scholarship and only one year left. We had only been together for a few months when she got pregnant. We stayed in contact for awhile after Julia was born...I even saw her a few times. But we decided it wasn’t meant to be. Then when she died, I figured it was too late. Papers were sent to me. I signed away parental rights. And she was adopted out. To you guys...I had no clue they did adoptions for such young couples. You couldn’t have been much older than me when you got her.” 

 

“You…you really don’t remember, do you? Or you were never told?” Kevin was almost laughing with hatred and disbelief.

 

“What’s funny?” Jack’s brow furrowed with confusion. 

 

“I’m Amanda’s cousin. We’ve met before, actually. I had just turned 17 when Julia was born and 18 when her mom died. I was 18 when I adopted my niece. My goddaughter. I remember you. I remember you making Amanda cry. I remember you yanking her around. I remember each of the three times you held your daughter. I remember seeing you stand at the back of her memorial while I held a crying baby on my lap.  _ Your  _ crying baby. I remember crying when the adoptive papers came in and I was a dad at the age of 18. Social Workers visited the house we moved into. They fired impossible questions at me, ensuring I was a  _ fit guardian.  _ My mom lived with us for a year. Gave up a year of her life to pick up the pieces you left behind.

 

“I had a full ride baseball scholarship. I had places to go. I could have been something! Instead, you acted like a little bitch and got to live out  _ my  _ college years while I took care of shit. I was 19 when that two-year-old little girl had a double ear infection and I wasn’t sure who was crying louder her or me. It was me who got to play Santa and Easter bunny and stay up all night worrying about a fever or bad dream. It was me who got her ready for her first day of kindergarten. Me who potty trained her and it’s me who gets to spend every minute I want to with her. Because she’s my kid. Now you’re all grown up with a wife and a house and a baby. You get your second chance. Congratulations. Don’t fuck this one up.” Kevin chugged his beer and stormed out of the booth. Edd stayed behind. 

 

“I do not envy you.” Edd said after a minute. “Kevin is a very kind and forgiving man whom I have known most of my life. I’ve never seen him this mad. I do not believe he will cool down quickly.” 

 

“I deserve that.” Jack sniffed, holding back tears. “I really do. I had no idea that her little cousin was going to raise our kid.” 

 

“Would it have mattered if you did?” 

 

“No...I guess not. I wasn’t a good guy back then. I didn’t even love Amanda. I liked her. She was fun and cute. But I wasn’t ready to be a dad.” 

 

“Neither was he.” Edd said sharply. “He’s amazing though. Loves that little girl with everything he has.” 

 

“This is a ridiculous question...but do you have a picture of her?” 

 

“Yes. A few.” Edd opened the picture gallery on his phone and showed several pictures to Jack that he had prepared for today, knowing that Kevin would not have. One was from her first birthday, pulled from Kevin’s Facebook profile. Another from her 2nd, and 3rd, and 4th. Her messy face on the 4th of July from s’mores. Her laughing with Amanda when she was about 9 months old. Her asleep with Kevin on the couch just a few days ago. Jack let tears fall on the table as he looked at his daughter through a stranger’s phone screen. 

 

“She’s beautiful. Looks like my sister.” Jack said sadly. 

 

“She may. But she behaves like Kevin in nearly every manner. Nature versus nurture is extremely interesting.” 

 

“How long have you two been together?” Jack asked, scrolling through more pictures of Julia, Kevin, and Edd. 

 

“Since early September.” 

 

“Really? You guys seem like you’ve been together for ages.” Jack mumbled. 

 

“I’ve known him for ages, but that’s different.” Edd shook his head. “Look, Jack. I’ll talk to him. I believe Julia deserves to know where she came from. If Kevin has taught me anything, it’s that family is the most important thing we as humans have. He isn’t speaking from hate right now. It’s fear. He thinks you’ve come to sweep her away. That sweet child is his everything. If you wish to pursue this, you must promise you have no intention of reinstating your parental rights.” 

 

“None. If anything...the most I could even dream of is being a distant family friend who comes to birthday parties and holidays. I fucked up, man. It’s time I own up to that.” 

 

“What is your phone number?” Edd asked. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“I shall send you these photos. I believe you’ve done the first big rectifying step. The next is explaining to your wife the existence of a child whom you’ve abandoned. The pictures will help.”

“Oh, yeah. Thank you for being so nice.” 

 

“I’m not being nice for you.” Edd’s voice was slick and icy. “You have a hell of a battle coming your way. But I love that man and his daughter as if she were my own. I don’t believe we should deprive her of her family who wishes to know her because we dislike who you were six years ago. Don’t call us again until you’ve told your wife and sorted your priorities. In fact, just wait until Kevin calls you. I’ll make sure he does. Goodbye, Jackson. Good luck.” 

 

“Thank you.” Jack whispered as Edd walked away. 

 

Out in the parking lot, Kevin was leaning against the car, still fuming. Edd approached his love, struck by not only his passion but his beauty. Kevin looked up from the ground to see Edd finally leaving the bar. 

 

“I’m sorry about-” Kevin started, but he was cut off by Edd placing hands on either side of his face and pulling him into a long kiss. 

 

“You needn’t be apologetic for anything. It’s all going to be fine” Edd promised. 

 

“Sure, yeah. I know.” Kevin muttered. 

 

“Let’s go home.” Edd kissed Kevin on the cheek and walked around to get in the car. 

 

A few nights later, Edd was back in his own apartment. He was in his bedroom, doing marginal research on paternity lawsuits. The room, though large and cozy, seemed empty. He once adored sleeping all night in his king sized bed by himself, but now he found himself longing for the crowded three-in-a-bed situation that Kevin’s old full-sized offered. On the bed beside him was a random stuffed toy of Julia’s that had been left behind. Edd looked at it sadly, wondering how a man could abandon his daughter and seemingly not care for six years. Edd picked up his phone and texted his friend. 

 

**Edd: The world is full of unsavory folks.**

 

**Eddy: Rough day, Sockhead?**

 

**Edd: Julia’s biological father is trying to reenter her life. It’s a mess.**

 

**Eddy: Bio-dad? Yeesh. How’s Shovel Chin taking it?**

 

**Edd: Not well. What I cannot imagine is why that young man ran out half a decade ago and is only now wanting back in?**

 

**Eddy: Idk. Thats a personal issue of his own. Tackling demons and some shit.**

 

**Edd: Life seemed so much easier when we were thirteen.**

 

**Eddy: Life is never simple Double Dork.**

 

**Eddy: Hey. So, more bad things happening.**

 

**Edd: How do you mean?**

 

**Eddy: Nazz ditched me. It’s cool though. Just letting you know.**

 

**Edd: Would you like me to come over? I have no other plans tonight and am quite bored.**

 

**Eddy: whatever man.**

 

**Eddy: bring beer**

 

**Edd: I’m on my way.**

 

“So, why did Nazz leave you? I’m still not understanding.” Edd asked a half an hour later, sitting beside Eddy on his dorm room futon. He bribed his way into a single room, paying off his roommate the first week into saying it was an ‘unsuitable match’ to administration. 

 

“Apparently after three months together I’m supposed to have an answer deeper than ‘I don’t know’ when she asks where we’re going. It’s three months! I’ve had STD’s that have lasted longer than our relationship.” 

 

“Perhaps, comparing your relationship to a sexually transmitted disease is what helped its downfall.” Edd pointed out, grabbing another Dorito from the bag. 

 

“Shut up, Sockhead.” Eddy grumbled. “But seriously. Why is everyone around me so hell bent on settling down? Ed is having a kid and probably getting married. You and Kevin aren’t slowing down anytime soon. Now, Nazz wants some kind of lockdown commitment? I’m not even 22 yet, man! I’m still living in college housing because I don’t want to commit to an apartment lease.” 

 

“And that’s fine for you, Eddy. You’ve always been...a free spirit. Ed didn’t go looking for commitment, it just found him. As for me, I like routine and stability. And with a child, there isn’t any time for a fling. All in or all out.”

 

“Free spirit. I like that.” Eddy finished the rest of his fifth beer. “Why can’t she see that? Or like that about me?” 

 

“I’m not sure I’m the person to talk to about what females like and do not like.” 

 

“No, I guess not.” Eddy laughed. 

 

A similar scene was happening across town in Kevin’s bedroom. Nazz sat beside Kevin on the bed with her head on his shoulder. The was watching an old favorite movie of theirs in comfortable silence. 

 

“Men suck.” Nazz snapped halfway through the movie. 

 

“Alrighty, then.” Kevin chuckled. “Launch right in.” 

 

“I mean, seriously. Three months and the most he can give me is ‘I dunno’ when I ask where this is going? All I wanted to know was if he was still sleeping around and if I could stop shaving  _ downstairs  _ every other day!” 

 

“Wow, uh, alright. Neat. There’s that.” Kevin said with an awkward laugh. 

 

“I want what you and Edd have.” Nazz whined. 

 

“And what’s that?” 

 

“Commitment. Something happy and steady. No mind games or jealousy plays. Just being content with each other.” 

 

“We aren’t like other couples though so it’s not really fair to yourself to wish for something that is so drastically uncommon. I have a kid, so I’m actually like 35 and too tired to play mind games. Edd, is well, Edd. Pretty sure once he locks his mind onto something, that’s the end of it, and he’s more or less locked on me now.” Kevin smiled. 

 

“Well, aren’t you lucky.” Nazz muttered bitterly. 

 

“Yeah,” Kevin kissed the top of Nazz’s head. “Sorry, babe. You know, you and Eddy are kind of great for each other. You’re both self-centered, hard headed, manipulative…”

 

“Are there any good qualities here?” Nazz asked sourly. 

 

“On your end...and I’m sure he must have one or two.” Kevin rolled his eyes. Nazz dated a lot but rarely allowed her heart to be sucked into the situation. She loved dinner, dancing, movies, and sex. But she never loved the men attached to it. She liked them, sure. But at her age, Nazz was young and wild and knew she didn’t want to fall in love accidentally and wake up the next morning with 2.5 kids in a three bedroom house and a 9 to 5 job. Somehow, magically almost, Eddy had gotten to her. Perhaps it was the way he didn’t any of the aforementioned things either. Or the way he didn’t think it was unladylike when she laughed at crude things and cursed a lot. It could have even been the way they had inside jokes stemming from fourth grade. None of these things mattered now as she sat in Kevin’s bed moping about what could have been. 

 

“What are you going to do about Jack?” Nazz questioned, changing the subject.   
  
“No fucking idea, honestly. Double Dee thinks I should give him a chance. After all, there is only a very slim margin he can legally reinstate his paternal rights and whisk her away to a suburban heteronormative life.” 

 

“If you go to court, I’ll be your beard.” Nazz teased lightly. 

 

“No need. I haven’t even heard from him since then.”

 

“Didn’t you clearly tell him not to contact you?” 

 

“Yeah. But if someone had my kid I wouldn’t stop pounding on doors or leaving vaguely threatening voicemails until I got her back.”

 

“Not all dads are you.” Nazz sighed. “Ed’s going to be a dad. You’re a dad. Should I have a kid?” 

 

“Fuck no. Not even close.” Kevin cackled with laughter.

 

“Hey! I would be a good mom!” Nazz shoved him indignantly. 

 

“Being a parent, a single parent, is miserable, Nazz. Yeah, some bits are fun. But I’m always poor. Always exhausted. Can rarely go out without a survival backpack of toys, snacks, and other shit. And my sex life is iffy at best thanks to a radar she seems to have that only goes off when my bedroom door locks nowadays.” 

 

“Well, when you put it like that.” Nazz grumbled.   
  
“A kid isn’t a plant. Or a puppy. Or any other relationship substitute. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do and you’re expected to do it perfectly all the time.” Kevin continued his rant. 

 

“Alright, alright. Jeez. My birth control implant is good for another three years anyways.” Nazz said. 

 

“Sorry. It’s just...I think I’m so mad at Jackson because...because, I understand why he ran away. And some days, just the stupid difficult rare days...I wish I would have too. I wish I would have let Rudy and Ann raise her while I sent meaningless holiday cards and expensive toys from college. I wish I could have had the chance to get to know myself, find a nice guy, get married, have an intentional kid. Not one thrust on me. And it’s not her fault. In no way shape or form do I resent her. She my daughter and I love her with every inch of my existence. 

 

“But seeing Jackson and hearing his pathetic  _ oh I was so scared so I acted like it never happened  _ sob story is making me deal with some things I’ve never realized I feel. I’ve never had the time to sit down and make sense of my life or consider the what ifs of my alternate timeline. My mom told me early on that the what-ifs will eat you alive. So I just charged forward and did everything backwards and upside down until we got here.” 

 

“For what it’s worth. We all think you’re doing a great job, Kev.” Nazz said quietly and hugged her friends arm tightly. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for letting me bitch.” Kevin laughed awkwardly. He immediately felt guilty for voicing these venomous thoughts outloud. Kevin hoped as Julia grew up and learned her origin story, she would understand all the sacrifices made and how much he truly loved and needed her and didn’t regret anything. But for now, she was a five year old little girl, writing letters to Santa and blissfully ignorant to the turmoil her father felt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little less fluffy here with some honest young parent views. Please leave kudos, bookmark it, and review. They all make me so happy! :D


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A super long chapter because my next few weeks are going to be pretty busy so my updates might not be weekly. My goal is to get this fic 50,000 words long. I am so glad I have so many loyal readers. Seeing and reading all of your reviews makes my day every time!

The morning of December 23rd was day to remember for the grown cul-de-sac kids. It began when Edd awoke in Kevin’s bed to a call on his phone from Jackson Waters. He quickly scrambled from the bedroom and into the still quiet living room. 

 

“Hello,” Edd yawned, sounding extremely irritated. 

 

“Uh, hi. I know it’s early. Like, really early. Sorry about that. I work nights a lot and am heading home now. Sometimes I forget other people are just waking up when I’m still wired.” Jackson said quickly. 

 

“Jackson, what purpose do you have in calling me at 6:30 in the morning?” 

 

“I have a Christmas gift. For Julia. I was wondering if you could come meet me at Donut King off 72nd Highway and I could give it to you to give to Kevin to give to her.” 

 

“Why am I the middle man in your affairs?” 

 

“Kevin isn’t answering me. I’ve been texting him for a week. I figured he wouldn’t want me just showing up on his porch the day before Christmas Eve.” 

 

“You would be correct.” Edd sighed and closed his eyes, still too tired for all these racing thoughts. “I’ll meet you in twenty minutes.”

 

“Great! I’ll buy you guys a half dozen of any flavor. Julia likes donuts, right?” 

 

“She likes anything that would make a dentist cringe.” Edd smiled slightly. Buying love with sugary treats wasn’t clever, but useful. Maintaining distaste for this young man when he was genuinely trying to repair burnt bridges, was becoming harder and harder. Twenty-Five minutes later Edd was sipping a green tea in the small family owned donut shop, a local landmark. Jackson walked in, bundled up in his police uniform and shaking snow from his coat. Edd hadn’t noticed before now but Jackson was extremely handsome with warm brown eyes and broad shoulders. There was a glittery pink package in his hands as he approached Edd. 

 

“Hi, Edd.” Jackson smiled and sat down, putting the gift on the table. 

 

“Greetings. I wasn’t aware you are a police officer.”

 

“Yeah, going into my third year.” 

 

“Congratulations. I take it you told your wife about Julia and Kevin?” 

 

“Yeah.” Jackson sighed. “She didn’t take it well at first.” 

 

“I wouldn’t expect so.” 

 

“But Kelly came around. She even helped me make this. It’s a photo album with me and Kelly and my family...and an ultrasound picture of her baby brother. There’s a letter in there from me too, explaining a lot. Everything really. Including how I met her mom. At her friend’s soccer game in the snack line.” 

 

“That is very thoughtful.” Edd said honestly. “I’ll be sure to get this to Kevin.” 

 

“Thanks.” Jackson smiled. “I better get going. Kelly needs a jelly filled powdered donut or she’ll kill me. My offer for the half dozen stands, Edd.” 

 

“Sure.” Edd lifted the package and followed Jackson to the counter where he picked out donuts for his sleeping duo back at home. 

 

Later in afternoon, while Julia had taken to playing in her room, Kevin and Edd were sitting on the couch discussing that morning’s events. 

 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Kevin asked for the third time. “You don’t have to be the go-between in this. It’s not really your issue at all.” 

 

“Kevin, I cannot risk you committing a misdemeanor every time you come face to face with Jackson. Besides, you got chocolate donuts out of it.” 

 

“Yeah, but it’s making me look like a pussy.” Kevin grumbled, holding the memory book in his hands. He had opened the package when Edd first handed it over, wanting to preview it before considering giving it to Julia. It was filled with pictures of people he had never, and will never, meet. Christmas’s, birthdays, graduations. All of these people were in one way or another, related to Julia. Kevin couldn’t help himself from seeing similarities. His heart ached with every page. One one hand, Julia deserved to know these smiling faces in the album...her family. On the other, Jack had made his choice and what if he decided being in her life was too difficult after all. Edd was of no help in this matter, not having the blind emotional bias to create the ‘fuck him’ opinion Kevin wished to hear. Despite appearing kind and outwardly giving, Kevin couldn’t shake the bad vibe he received from Jackson.

 

“No one thinks that, Kevin.” Edd said, placing a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “He doesn’t want to be her dad.” 

 

“No, he has a  _ real  _ kid now. 90 percent of me still thinks he just wants to clear his conscience by giving her presents.” 

 

“That feeling may never go away. Have you told Julia about what is going on?” 

 

“I don’t know how,” Kevin muttered, looking at the first page in the album. A selfie taken seven years prior. Amanda was wearing sunglasses and making a goofy face. Jackson was smirking slightly at the camera, bemused by the woman at his side. It wasn’t true love. It was just two adolescents passing the time together, then they happened to get pregnant and have a kid. It happens all the time across the world. Sometimes the parents fall in love and make it work. Sometimes they don’t. However, most of these apathetic romance stories don’t end in death and dissolvent of paternal rights. That’s what Kevin was struggling with most. Maybe if Jack had loved her, or if he had even tried, Kevin wouldn’t feel so bitter towards his reappearance. 

 

“The book might help.” Edd suggested, looking down at his phone that had just chimed. “Oh, my.” 

 

“What’s up?” 

 

“It appears Ed’s fiance has given birth a few days ago. They are back home now and Eddy is coming by to pick me up so we can visit them. Do you mind?” 

 

“Babe, you don’t need to ask my permission to leave.” Kevin chuckled. “Go, meet the squish ball.” 

 

“I’ve never seen a newborn.” Edd mused as he stood from the couch. 

 

“They look like lizards,” Kevin said. 

 

“Surely, not.” Edd rolled his eyes, very accustomed to Kevin’s hyperbolic nature.  

 

“Just wait.” 

 

After much inner wrestling, shortly after Edd had left, Julia sat on Kevin’s lap in the living room. Beside them were two photo albums. One Ann had made for Julia and the other Jackson had made. Julia hadn’t seen either of these books before. Opening the first one to the cover page was a picture of five-year-old Kevin and seven year old Amanda standing in a sprinkler, their faces stained red from a BombPop, in the background colorful fireworks lit up the sky. 

 

“Do you know who that is?” Kevin asked, pointing to the boy. 

 

“You!” Julia smiled. 

 

“Who’s that?” Kevin pointed to the girl with red braids. 

 

“I dunno.” 

 

“That’s your mom, Julia. She was only a little older than you in this picture.” Kevin turned a page and then another, sharing Amanda’s age progression with Julia for the first time. They had fun talking about Amanda at sleepovers, in a prom dress or soccer uniform, or putting makeup on sleeping Kevin’s 13-year-old face. Then the pictures suddenly stop when 20-year-old Amanda is smiling at the camera, holding 14-month-old Julia in her lap, wearing a Delview University onesie. Delview University being the school Kevin had been accepted into only weeks earlier. 

 

“Baby, you know how your mom is in heaven? We’ve talked about that, right.”

 

“Right. She was in a really bad accident and God took her to be an angel and then you became my daddy.” Julia said somberly. 

 

“Yeah, something like that. Well, there is another guy who is your dad too. He was...with your mommy before she was in the accident.” 

 

“Another dad?” Julia asked as Kevin opened the new book and showed her the first picture. “Mommy!” 

 

“Yeah, that’s mommy. Sometimes you make that same face and it drives me bonkers.” Kevin laughed, giving Julia a squeeze. “That’s her...friend Jackson. In a discussion you and I will have much later in life, they made you. He’s your...birth father. Like how Grandpa Greg is my father.” 

 

“Then what are you?” Julia asked, turning the page to see a graduation picture of Jackson in a canary yellow cap and gown. 

 

“I’m your daddy. Always have been, always will be. Using a lot of paperwork and patience I adopted you. Meaning you’re mine and I’m yours.” 

 

“Then who is he?” Julia flipped the page to a wedding picture of Kelly and Jackson. 

 

“He is the guy who helped make you.” 

 

“Where is he? Why isn’t he my daddy? If he helped make me why didn’t he adopt me?” Julia was confused as she touched Jackson’s face in a picture of him on a Christmas morning holding a puppy. 

 

“He was scared and made a bad decision. He ran away but now he wants to come back.” 

 

“I’m not scary.” Julia pouted. “I was just a baby. Babies aren’t scary. They don’t even have teeth.” 

 

“I know that...and now so does he.” Kevin found himself holding her tighter and tighter until she smacked his arm and made him loosen his grip. 

 

“Who is this lady?” Julia asked pointing to a picture of Kelly on water skis. 

 

“That’s Jackson’s wife, Kelly. They’re married.” 

 

“Why didn’t he marry my mom?” Julia asked. 

 

“I dunno, Bluebird. They didn’t want to get married” Kevin shrugged. Julia flipped to the last picture of the book, the ultrasound of a bulbous headed fetus. 

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“That is...that is the baby inside Kelly’s stomach. Technically, your baby brother.” 

 

“He made me...didn’t marry my mom...you ‘dopted me...he married bathing suit lady...and now they are having a baby?” Julia’s voice was oddly monotone as she wrapped her brain around everything. 

 

“That about sums it up.” Kevin affirmed. 

 

“Do I have to live with him now that he’s my dad?” Julia’s voice was wobbling now. 

 

“Not a chance in hell are you ever leaving this house.” Kevin said firmly. “You’re mine and I have the paperwork to prove it.” 

 

“Are we going to let him come back?” Julia whispered. 

 

“That’s up to you, kiddo. I know this is a lot. It’s new and scary and weird and makes me mad too. But I wanted you to know. It’s always been you and me. Sometimes Nazz. Sometimes Grandma Robin or Ann. Sometimes Edd. But always you and me. Do you want to meet him?” 

 

“No.” Julia said harshly after only a moment. She pushed the book off her lap and Kevin watched as it hit the floor and the envelope containing the letter fell out. Julia spun around and wrapped her arms around Kevin’s neck. 

 

“Whatcha thinkin’?” Kevin asked after a minute of rubbing her back in silence. 

 

“I never want to meet him. Or her. Or any of those weird people in those pictures. I want to be with you forever. I already have a daddy, I don’t need another.” Julia began to cry. 

 

“Alright, alright. Hush. You never have to meet him. We won’t talk about it anymore. It’s done. It’s over. Alright?” Kevin promised, feeling weird about what she had said only needing one dad.

 

“Alright.” Julia sniffled. “Where is Edd?”

 

“He went to go meet his friend’s new baby.” 

 

“Can I go?” Julia asked earnestly. 

 

“Uh, I don’t know. We weren’t exactly invited.” Kevin managed. He pulled out his phone and text Edd. 

 

**Kevin: Hey, DD...need a ride home anytime soon?**

 

**Edd: Not particularly. I’m helping the new mother by doing dishes. Eddy is looking quite uncomfortable. I believe he assumes infants are contagious and if he holds this one, he too will become a father.**

 

**Kevin: lol Probz. Let me know when you need a ride home. We’ll come get you.**

 

**Edd: Is this your way of asking if you can come see Ed’s child?**

 

**Kevin: Yeah. More or less for Julia. She wants to see the baby.**

 

**Edd: Ed approves. I will see you two soon.**

 

**Edd: Do not tell Ed or Britney I’ve said this but the baby indeed looks like a lizard.**

 

**Kevin: Told ya.**

 

 

Standing on the welcome mat outside Ed and Britney’s apartment was a surreal feeling for Kevin. The day had already been so weird he figured this might as well happen too. He knocked lightly and Edd answered the door, kissing Kevin on the cheek, then blushing for having done so in front of everyone. 

 

Inside the apartment, Ed was sitting on the couch holding a small bundle of pink in his arms. Eddy was sitting in a recliner texting rapidly, ignoring everyone else. Julia took off her coat and hung it on a hook next to the door before sitting on the couch beside Ed and the baby. Edd was wearing dish gloves but taking them off as Kevin sat awkwardly on the far end of the couch.

 

“She so cute! What’s her name?” Julia gushed. 

 

“Alexis Jane.” Ed smiled. Edd reentered the room and sat in between Julia and Kevin. 

 

“Where’s Britney?” Kevin asked, looking down at the dozing babe. 

 

“Sleeping in the bedroom. She was in labor for two days.” Ed said, without looking away from his daughter. 

 

“That’s impressive. Julia was a week overdue but was only a four hour labor.” Kevin recalled.

 

“Wanna hold her?” Ed offered to Julia, who nodded eagerly. 

 

“One moment. Eddy, could you please toss me that pillow behind you?” Edd asked. 

 

“Not like I was using it.” Eddy grumbled but tossed the pillow behind him to Edd. Edd put the pillow on Julia’s lap and assisted Ed in transferring the baby to the girl’s lap. 

 

“Be careful of her head,” Kevin said gently. Alexis opened her eyes, brown like her mom’s but she had soft tufts of strawberry blonde hair like Ed’s. 

 

“This is so fucking weird.” Eddy laughed looking at Kevin watch Edd help his daughter hold Ed’s daughter. 

 

“What’s so funny?” Kevin asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

 

“You guys are so fucking domestic. And who would have ever figured we’d all be hanging out together on a semi-regular basis.” 

 

“It’s not a bad life.” Kevin shrugged. 

 

“Nah.” Ed agreed. 

 

“I’m done.” Julia announced awkwardly after a minute, looking to Edd for help lifting the baby off her lap. Edd took the baby and Kevin smiled as he watched Edd figure out how to hold a newborn.

 

“She’s a cutie.” Kevin commented, only half lying. Ed took Alexis from Edd’s arms and put her pacifier back in her mouth. 

 

“What the hell do I do with a daughter?” Ed asked quietly, looking down at the small wonder. 

 

“You’ll figure it out. It’s not that hard. I’m sure Britney and Sarah will guide the way. Won’t be long before you have purple toenails like the rest of us.” Kevin said lightly. 

 

“Like hell I will.” Ed scoffed. 

 

“Give it time.” Kevin smiled and stood up. “Thing one, thing two, you ready?” 

 

“Indeed. Julia, grab your coat. Thank you for hosting us. I hope you get some rest.” Edd said kindly. “Eddy, would you like a ride home?” 

 

“Nah. Nazz is coming to pick me up and drop off food for the new parents.” Eddy smirked. 

 

“Good you two made up! I’m glad Nazz is coming.” Ed said happily. 

 

“Don’t say anything about it or you’ll jinx it, Lumpy.” Eddy snapped.

 

“Play nice,” Kevin said with a laugh. “I guess I’ll see you guys later. Yeah, Eddy. You’re right. Still weird.”  

**“** Bye!” Julia smiled as they shut the door and head for home. Back home after dinner, they settled down in the living room watching the Jim Carrey version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. The photo albums had been put away and not spoken of. 

 

“This movie is quite disgusting,” Edd commented about halfway through. 

 

“It’s about the Christmas spirit,” Kevin whispered, upon noticing Julia was asleep on the floor in a pile of fuzzy blankets. 

 

“How?” 

 

“It’s a classic!” 

 

“Can a movie that is only 17 years old be a classic?” Edd wondered. 

 

“I don’t know. But this is.” Kevin said, casting a sideways glance to Edd, effectively shushing him.

 

“How did you think Nazz and Eddy made up?” Edd asked after another few minutes.

 

“Who knows. None of my business. Probably raunchy explicit sexy times followed by half hearted promises of loyalty.” Kevin chuckled. 

 

“That’s not very...hopeful.” 

 

“No, they’re just too young to settle down with each other.” 

 

“They’re the same age as us, Kevin.” Edd half scolded.

 

“But they don’t have the same motivators.” Kevin smiled, looking at Edd whose vision was glued to the TV with an unusual scowl. “I told Julia about Jackson.” 

 

“What was the result?” Edd turned to look at Kevin who wore a blank face. 

 

“She has no interest in him. Yet.” Kevin sighed. 

 

“Yet?” 

 

“She’s a baby. She’s confused. I only told her because I owe it to her. She doesn’t get genetics or run away fathers yet. She knows who’s here and who isn’t. But when she’s 13 and hates us, she might want to get to know him. I’m gonna call him after Christmas. But for now, watch Jim Carrey dressed as a furry green thing wiggle into lederhosen.” Kevin adjusted himself to pull Edd into his side. Edd curled up into Kevin, his cheeks tinged pink with the way Kevin had just casually said ‘us’. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not exactly sure where I'm heading with this story right now. Definitely not burnt out on it, but kind of lost directionally. What do YOU guys want to see? Maybe I'll consider slipping in a suggestion or two. ;) Once again, thank you thank you thank you for being so supportive and amazing!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You guys gave me AMAZING suggestions. I have new fuel churning my wheels. This is a really long chapter that I hope you all enjoy. :) Weird question, do you prefer long chapters or short ones?

Four days after Christmas, Edd was alone in his apartment after spending the holiday week with Julia and Kevin. He was dusting his living room peacefully when his phone chimed from its charging station on his desk. Placing the duster down, he answered the call. 

 

“Hello, this is Eddward.” He formally answered.

 

“Hello, son. It’s your mother.”

 

“Hi, mother. How was your Christmas?” 

 

“Quite good. Philippe and I holidayed in Brazil. Only now am I back in the states. I was calling with the purpose of inviting you to Christmas and your birthday dinner on December 31st.” 

 

“Mother, that’s New Years Eve.” Edd countered. 

 

“Yes, but I fear my schedule is overbooked on your actual birthday, January 5th.” Dr. Vincent sighed. 

 

“Very well. Where would you like to meet and at what time?” 

 

“Does seven in the evening at  Réunion Joyeuse work with your calendar?” 

 

“Indeed. May I bring someone?” 

 

“But of course. It is your birthday meal after all.” he could practically hear is his mother smirk in disbelief. 

 

“Fantastic. I’ll let him know.” 

 

“Him?” Dr. Vincent asked. 

 

“Yes, mother. I shall invite my boyfriend as I assume yours will be joining us as well.” 

 

“Boyfriend?” 

 

“I’ll see you then.” Edd said and before she could ask any more questions he hung up on her. Across town Kevin was having a similarly uncomfortable conversation.

 

“Hey, Kevin!” Jack answered the phone excitedly. 

“Hey, man.” 

 

“How was your Christmas? Did you give her the book?” 

 

“We had a good Christmas. Yeah, she got the book. How was...your Christmas?” Kevin gritted his teeth, not truly caring about his adversaries holiday celebrations. 

 

“Pretty good. Had a big family reunion like always. They’re all excited to meet Julia.” 

 

“All?” 

 

“Yeah, I told everyone about her. They’re pretty jazzed. My Mom and Dad were pissed to start, but now they’re on board.” Jack’s voice was tinged with excitement.

 

“Look...about that.” Kevin sighed. 

 

“What?” 

 

“She isn’t ready.” Kevin rushed. 

 

“What the hell? You said you showed her the book.” Jack’s voice dropped. 

 

“I did. We left it up to her. Meeting you. She said no. She’s not ready yet. But when she is, we will set up a time to meet.” 

 

“She’s five. You and your  _ boyfriend  _ left a giant decision up to a five year old?” Jackson seethed, his happy-go-lucky tone long gone.

 

“Woah, man. Calm down.” Kevin said, shutting his bedroom door so his voice wouldn’t travel to the living room where Julia played with a friend of hers. 

 

“No, come on. I’ve been nice. And I’ve been patient. But now you and him are trying to keep her from me!” 

 

“We aren’t keeping her from you. Trust me. If I was keeping her from you, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.” Kevin bit off the words carefully. 

 

“Look, I just want to meet my kid. Five year olds can’t even choose a breakfast cereal let alone who can be in or out of their lives.” 

 

“Yeah, she can. I gave her all the information and she said no. When she says yes, I’ll give you a call. You’re not a dad yet, so you don’t know what kids are actually capable of.” Kevin said smugly.

 

“Knock off the holier than thou act.” Jack snapped. “I was just trying to be a good guy. I wanted to have a role in my biological daughter’s life.” 

 

“Trying to be a good guy? You don’t become a parent for brownie points, you creep.” 

 

“Yeah, I know that. That’s not what I meant. I mean. Do something, dammit. I already told my whole family she’s excited to meet them.” 

 

“Yeah, see. The funny thing about having kids is it’s not about you or your family anymore. It’s about the kid. I’m done going in circles. She isn’t ready to meet you. End of discussion.”

 

“I’ll figure out a way to see her.” 

 

“Come near me or my kid again, you won’t be ever able to see again anyways.” Kevin seethed. 

 

“What does that mean?” 

 

“Dare ya to figure out.” Kevin taunted like an eighth grader before hanging up on him. Growling loudly before counting to ten and heading back out to the living room where two five year old little girls sat, none the wiser. 

 

“What’s wrong, Daddy?” Julia questioned, a mint green plastic horse in her hand. 

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Kevin said offhandedly. “Olivia, your dad should be here soon. Got all your stuff together?” 

 

“Yeah,” the small girl with dark beaded braids muttered, unwilling to let her play date end. 

As Kevin sunk into the couch Edd used the key he had received for Christmas to reenter the house, looking flustered as ever. 

 

“You look how I feel.” Kevin greeted in lieu of ‘hello’.

 

“This is the expression I typically wear after my mother and I speak.” Edd grumbled, heading back to Kevin’s bedroom after smiling down at Julia. Kevin heard the bedroom door shut and sighed, wondering why Edd had come over here to be in a piss poor mood. Before he could head back to investigate, a knock sounded at the door. Kevin groaned and stood to answer it. On the other side was Olivia’s father. A tall, muscular man with a chiseled jaw and skin like warm molten lava cake. 

 

“Hey, man. Not too late I hope?” Quincy said with a smile as he and Kevin shook hands. He was about three years older than Kevin but their girl’s had been friends since Preschool. 

 

“Nah, you’re good. They didn’t burn down the house.” Kevin chuckled letting Quincy into the living room. 

 

“Can I stay the night?” Olivia whined. Julia had wrapped her arms around Olivia’s neck in protest. 

 

“Damn, girls. I’m sure we would all love a sleepover but school starts back in a week and I’m sure you can see each other again. This isn’t forever. Maybe the four of us could go out to lunch sometime?” Quincy said, his deep voice tinged with amusement. 

 

“Yeah!” Julia and Olivia cheered. 

 

“Fine by me. Take them to the Playland at Mickey D’s and let them run around.” Kevin agreed. “Next weekend maybe. But for now, you’ve gotta retract your claws and let your friend go home.” 

 

“Noo.” Julia whined, but released Olivia when Kevin crossed his arms and stared her down. Tantrum throwing rarely led to anything good, she had learned. 

 

“I’ll see you later.” Olivia moped as she got on her shoes and took her dad’s hand. 

 

“I’ll text you about lunch and whatnot later.” Quincy said as he and his daughter left. 

 

“Sure thing.” Kevin shut the door and turned around to see Edd standing in the hallway entrance, arms crossed and eyebrow arched, leering at him over his glasses. Julia had turned her attention to brushing her horse’s hair, uninterested in the discussion Kevin and Edd were having.

 

“He was flirting with you.” Edd said with no inflection. 

 

“What the hell?” Kevin asked, heading into the kitchen to scrounge food for dinner. 

 

“He definitely was shamelessly flirting with you.” Edd said as he followed Kevin. 

 

“Shut up. He has a girlfriend.” Kevin scoffed. 

 

“There are more than two sexualities, you know.”  

 

“Whatever. Are you jealous.” Kevin teased, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist. 

 

“Hardly. He may be extremely handsome, but he’s not your type.” Edd smiled, winding his arms around Kevin’s neck.  

 

“What is my type?”

 

“Ideally pale scientists who are bringing you to a horrendous family dinner at a french restaurant on New Year's Eve.” 

 

“I hate french food.” Kevin’s nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“So do I. Which is precisely why Mother selected it.” Edd sighed. 

 

“I’ll go for you, but can we eat before we go?” 

 

“I insist we do.” 

___________________________

 

“So, did you happen to call Jackson today?” Edd asked in bed that later that night. 

 

“Yeah,” Kevin yawned. He supposed he had put this conversation off long enough, 10pm seemed as good a time as any to have it. 

 

“How did it go?” 

 

“Not great. Turns out Jack is one of those men who doesn’t like it when things don’t go his way.” 

 

“How do you mean?” 

 

“I told him Julia wasn’t ready to meet him and he got all jerky and territorial. Apparently, he already got his family all excited to see her. He said he would find a way to see her no matter what.” 

 

“Oh, dear. Do you really think he’ll try anything?” 

 

“Nah, it’s alright. Pretty sure he’s all bark and no stalk.” 

 

“I’m sorry?” Edd rolled over to face Kevin. 

 

“As I figured he was just trying to clear his conscience. He reached out and tried. Made himself feel better. Now that he’s been let off the hook, I’m betting he’s thrilled.” 

 

“How can you be so sure?” 

 

“Jesus, Dork. I don’t know. I don’t want to read into it.” Kevin groaned. 

 

“But-” 

 

“For god’s sake, babe. Shut up about it.” Kevin shoved Edd over onto his other side and scooted against his back, assuming the position of big spoon. 

 

“Fine.” Edd muttered, not entirely pleased with Kevin’s ease at shutting it down. Something seemed off about Jackson giving up so easily, especially after his enthusiasm just last week. However, Kevin seemed to trust it was over. What else could Edd do? 

 

“Do I really have to go to a fancy French dinner with your mom and her new boyfriend?” 

 

“Do you really think I want to go? I fear there is no arguing with that woman.” 

 

“I would much rather be doing this on New Year’s Eve.” Kevin kissed the back of Edd’s neck and gently pushed his half hard dick into Edd’s ass. 

 

“Go to sleep, Kevin.” Edd giggled, though pushed back against Kevin. 

 

“Hmm, you sure you’re ready to go to sleep? Perhaps I could wear you out a little more.” 

 

“How do you assume you could do that?” Edd teased. 

 

“I think I can come up with something…” 

 

 

The night of New Year’s Eve, after Julia was dropped off with Robin and Greg, Edd and Kevin arrived at the overpriced, overcrowded, French restaurant Dr. Vincent had requested. 

 

“So, your mom doesn’t know.” Kevin questioned as he looked for a parking space. 

 

“Doesn’t know what?” Edd asked, straightening his ponytail. 

 

“About me. Or Julia. Or anything about  _ you  _ really.” 

 

“Well, it’s not like we talk all that much. She knows I’m still attending school. She knows my birthday. So, she clearly knows some things.” Edd said plainly. 

 

“That’s fair in no world ever.” Kevin scoffed as he parked and stopped the car. They exited and walked into restaurant. Surpassing the wait line, Edd requested the table of Dr. Jessica Vincent and guest with an air of confidence not usually seen and thus amazing Kevin. Edd had his fingers interlocked with Kevin’s and inwardly smirked at his mother’s gaping reaction as they approached. Kevin pulled out a chair for Edd and he gracefully sat down. 

 

“Hello, Eddward. It’s so nice to see you.” Dr. Vincent smiled tightly. She leaned forward and ghosted a kiss on her only child’s cheek. 

 

“Yes, mother. You look well. This is my partner, Kevin. I believe you may have met him once or twice during my childhood. He was our across the street neighbor.” 

 

“How quaint. Nice to meet you again, Kevin.” Dr. Vincent said, glancing at the wine menu instead of him. 

 

“Where is Philippe?” Edd asked, opening his menu. “Or my father for that matter?” 

 

“Don’t be rude. Your father had a meeting but, per usual, he sends his love. Expect a card in the mail next week.  Philippe excused himself to the restroom moments before you arrived.” 

 

“Alright.” Edd said. The table fell silent. Kevin looked at his menu, unfortunately it was written entirely in French and he had at best a ninth grader’s public school understanding of Spanish. Too uncomfortable to speak, Kevin tried to look like he comprehended the food choices and the tension between mother and son. 

 

“Ah, Philippe.” Dr. Vicente's voice warmed significantly when her lover rejoined the table. Philippe was a young man, not much older than Edd himself, with olive skin and hazel eyes and wavy brown tresses. Extremely beautiful and could do much better than settling for a middle aged ice queen. 

 

“This is my son and her  _ friend.”  _ Dr. Vincent introduced. 

 

“Nice to make your acquaintance, Philippe.” Edd stood and shook hands with the man. “My  _ boyfriend _ and I are glad you invited us out.” 

 

“Eddward, please.” Dr. Vincent hissed. 

 

“No worries, Jessica. I am not bothered. Your son is very handsome. He looks much like you.” Philippe said, in a thick Spanish accent. 

 

“We get that a lot.” Edd said oddly as the waiter approached. The distant mother placed her and Philippe’s orders in flawless French, then arched a challenging eyebrow at her son. 

 

“I’m sorry, dear. How inconsiderate of me. Would you like me to order for you and Kevin? It seems he has gone mute and I fear you may not recall much French from your lessons. Too preoccupied these days, I would suppose.” 

 

“I shall do just fine, mother.” Edd said in a tone so empty it sent a chill down Kevin’s spine. He then rattled off his request for his and Kevin’s dinner along with an expensive red wine choice and imported beer. It was all Kevin could do not to have his jaw hit the table, amazed once again by Edd’s flawless poise and hidden talents. It seemed that his boyfriend had more unlocked layers than he could ever hope to discover. The man sitting behind him in no way resembled the man who was lying on the ground reading a pop-up-book with his daughter only hours before. 

 

“Well done.” Dr. Vincent half-heartedly congratulated.

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“Tell me about yourself, Kevin.” Dr. Vincent focused her attention to the uncomfortable looking ginger, dressed up and looking for the nearest exit. He felt like a lowly insect under a microscope while she studied him for imperfections. Edd placed a hand over Kevin’s and offered a nearly imperceivable nod of support. 

 

“Oh, well. Right now I, um, work at my uncle’s auto body shop. But when he retires in the next few years, I’ll be the owner.” 

 

“Auto-body? Hm. How rugged.” Jessica smiled slightly. “Small business is the backbone of the American economy. Do you attend business school to learn how to properly maintain such a shop?”

 

“No, but my uncle has taught me everything he knows. I think it will be fine. I don’t really have time for school right now.” Kevin shrugged, feeling Jessica’s gaze narrow at him. Philippe was mindlessly staring off into the distance and Edd’s grip tightened ever so tightly. He could sense when his mom was onto something and this could go one of two directions. 

 

“No time? You’re young. What could possibly be more important than your education? One would assume you and Edd met in a mutual class.” 

 

“I have a daughter. She’s five.” Kevin said boldly. 

 

“You were a teen father? How odd. It would appear you haven’t always been a member of  _ this  _ life style. Where is the girl’s mother?” Dr. Vincent titled her head in mock concern. Like an alien who learned human emotions from watching cheesy sitcoms. 

 

“She died, mother. And before you ask, she is not Kevin’s biological daughter. Rather his second cousin as Julia’s mother is Kevin’s elder cousin. After her untimely death Kevin maturely stepped up to raise her. No more invasive questions about his personal life please.” Edd defended before Kevin could even come up with anything half as eloquent. Edd and Jessica spoke quickly with as few words as possible. They aimed to kill with their words sharpened like blades. Beyond their physical appearance the mother and son even shared facial expressions and mannerisms that made Kevin’s blood run cold. 

 

“Fine, fine.” the mother forced a smile and waved the subject away. 

 

“How did you and Phillippe meet?” Edd asked, now absently tracing circles with his thumb on Kevin’s hand. Kevin knew he was just doing it to dig at his mother, though he didn’t mind it entirely. Everything happening at this table was so sly and discreet it was like watching an emotionally manipulative game of chess. 

 

“He was a student in one of my lecture circuits.” Jessica said with a mischievous grin.  

 

“Ah.” Edd said flatly. It wasn’t long before dinner was served and eaten in moderate silence. 

 

“So, you only have a year and a half left in your bachelor's degree studies. Where will you apply afterwards?” Dr. Vincent asked halfway through the meal. 

 

“I haven’t given it much thought as of yet. I will probably procure a career first and return for my master’s degree a year or so after graduation once I have saved enough money for classes.” Edd said, taking a pointed bite of his salad. 

 

“Saved money? Love, you know your father and I will pay for any of your academic endeavours.”

 

“I am an adult, mother. I would rather not borrow money from mommy and daddy to pay for graduate school.” 

 

“So, what then? You’ll graduate with a basic level bachelor's degree, get a job, and then what? Become a _step-father_? Eddward, you have so much boundless potential. Ask your father how far he feels he could have gone with his studies in nuclear physics had he not settled down with me out of college. Children, no matter how delightful, hold you back in life. Don’t settle for fatherhood. No offense for present company.” Dr. Jessica Vincent said all of this in one long string of sentences. Though her words were filled with malice he tone was calm, as if telling her son he didn’t need two desserts. 

 

“Hm.” Edd hummed. He could sense Kevin’s trembling rage. Edd slowly wiped his mouth, placed a hand over Kevin’s, and cocked his head slightly to the side. You could practically see the robotic way he untangled her sentences to formulate his own retort. 

 

“Oh, dear. I seem to have offended. I do apologize.” she said quickly with mock sincerity, her eyes glimmering with the knowledge she had struck a nerve. 

 

“No need to worry mother. I rarely find myself offended by your words or actions as most of them are hollow and meaningless. Much in the way you raised me from a safe distance, afraid of investing too much emotion. I fear we must be leaving. It was nice meeting you Phillippe. I hope you are aware she is only dating you as a rebound from my father to whom she was married to for twenty five years, which is how old I assume you are. You won’t last so ask for all the pretty expensive things you want while you can. She loves buying things for people after she hurts them. Once, when I was a young teenager and she spent an hour degrading and insulting my intelligence for receiving a B+ in Advanced Level Chemistry. The next morning I found a one hundred dollar bill on the counter and a note saying she wouldn’t be home until next week due to a work emergency. Regardless, it was nice meeting you. Mother, I am sure I will be hearing from you eventually. Until then. Kevin, let’s go pick up Julia from your mom’s house. I do miss your mom. Haven’t spoken to her in a few days.” Edd stood from the table, and dumbstruck Kevin trailed after. 

 

“You know Julia is at my mom’s all night, right?” Kevin asked once they had left the restaurant and were heading to a New Year’s Eve party. 

 

“Yes. I just wanted to rub salt in every emotional wound she has.” Edd sighed, looking out the window with his hands in his lap. 

 

“You two are scary. At least my family yells when they’re angry. You guys could freeze the devil.” 

 

“Yelling exhausts too much energy and is easy to tune out. Low volumed scathingly accurate comments are most effective.” 

 

“Remind me not to piss you off.” Kevin chuckled and kissed the back of Edd’s hand. This pulled a small smile from Edd who was trying to shake off the person he was around his family. He hated feeling that cold inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, review, kudos, bookmark whathaveyou. I LOVE all the positive feedback I'm receiving. Hope your summer is going well! :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure what this is or where it's going but I know I wanted a little angst. It's hardly edited (due to time and my hatred for editing) so sorry for any mistakes. I adore all the support I'm receiving from you guys. It's amazing! I'll update soon. :)

The New Year’s Eve ‘small gathering’ turned out to be in full-swing by the time Edd and Kevin arrived, still fancy dressed from the restaurant. They walked into Nazz’s apartment greeted by the smell of cheap beer and too-many-people. Nazz and Eddy were leaned up against each other in a corner either arguing or dirty talking, or perhaps both. More people than Edd or Kevin knew were in the space, eagerly anticipating the countdown. Kevin and Edd weaved into the apartment, smiling and nodded at the friends who greeted them. Each grabbing a drink from a soggy cooler, they stood in the kitchen leaning against the counter. It was already 10:15 at night and both men were fairly eager to return home. They had only been murmuring to each other for a few minutes when a young man with bright teal hair approached them. 

 

“Hey, Kev! Long time no see! Where ya been?” Nat asked, bringing Kevin into a hug. 

 

“Busy as fuck. Christmas. Meeting parents. Imminent custody battles. The usual.” Kevin laughed. 

 

“That’s some deep shit. Better luck next year! Is this  _ the  _ Edd?” 

 

“The one and only. Edd, this is my friend Nathan.”

 

“Nice to make your acquaintance.” Edd smiled, and leaned into Kevin for comfort. 

 

“Are you aware you’re extremely out of this man’s league?” Nat asked brashly, causing Edd to flush pink. “I’ve seen the scraggly bears he dated before you. You’re by far the prettiest.” 

 

“Er, thanks.” Edd chuckled awkwardly. 

 

“Keep it clean, Nat. Don’t be weird.” Kevin scoffed. “How’s Stephen?” 

 

“Old news.” Nat crinkled his nose. “He was allergic to dogs and I want three. I’m actually here with a gal who goes to beauty school with Nazz.” 

 

“Where is she now?” 

 

“Uh, waiting for me to get her a drink. So, if you’ll excuse me.” Nat laughed and grabbed a bottle of beer from the cooler. “Nice finally meeting you Edd.” 

 

“You too,” Edd said as the freckled man walked away. 

 

“He’s a character.” Kevin noted once he and Edd were left alone again. 

 

“How did you two meet?” 

 

“It was a blind date. He’s cute but a bit of a diva. After awhile we called it quits but still hang out sometimes.” Kevin teased lightly, watching Edd’s face curve into a slight pout. 

 

“Ah.” Edd muttered. 

 

“I’m just fucking with you, babe.” Kevin laughed and kissed Edd’s cheek. “We went on one date, two years ago, that ended in us play Grand Theft Auto on my couch with each of us sleeping in our beds. He’s a total diva, it would have never worked out. He is the best friend a guy could ask for though.” 

 

“Sure, sure.” Edd rolled his eyes. 

 

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” Kevin purred into Edd’s ear, sending chills through Edd’s body. Kevin lightly nibbled on Edd’s earlobe. 

 

“Knock it off.” Edd whispered, fully aware they were in a room full of people.

 

“I’m not doing anything.” Kevin said, wrapping his arm around Edd’s waist to firmly grab his ass.

 

“Have you no shame?” Edd asked, as his erection began to grow. 

 

“None.” Kevin growled slightly and kissed Edd’s neck. Kevin took Edd’s hand and led him back to the small apartment bathroom.

 

“Kevin, what the hell-” Edd began to ask as he was shoved against the door and Kevin’s determined mouth came down on his. The two feverishly kissed for a moment before parting and Kevin locked the bathroom door.

 

“You’re so fucking hot.” Kevin breathed as he worked to undo Edd’s belt. “Speaking

french. Handling your mom like a that. Being so damn good to my friends and daughter.” 

 

“But there are people out there.” Edd protested weakly as Kevin dropped to his knees 

and pulled Edd’s pants down to his thin but muscular thighs. Kevin kissed the soft skin

just above the waistband of his underwear and palmed the half-hard dick. 

 

“Can you be quiet, baby?” Kevin asked, pulling the underwear down and freeing the hungry cock. Edd just nodded as Kevin’s hot mouth engulfed his length. Bobbing up and down with a hand on his own member and the other on Edd’s hip. Edd was grunting and had one hand knotted in soft orange tresses. As he felt himself close to the brink, Edd gently pulled Kevin back to his feet and kissed him on the mouth. 

 

“How do you want me?” Edd asked while Kevin sucked on his neck. 

 

“Bend over the sink.” Kevin’s voice was deep and husky with arousal. Edd did as he was

told and watched as Kevin looked around for a lube substitute. 

 

“Jackpot.” Kevin muttered as he found slick shower gel. He began lubing his dick and

Massaging the crack of Edd’s ass. “Check the mirror cabinet for condoms.” 

 

“There are none left.” Edd groaned as he showed Kevin the empty cardboard box. Kevin stopped rubbing himself and stared at Edd. This was not a discussion they had, had yet. Though each knew they were 100% loyal to the other and knew each other’s histories, condoms had never been a question before. Luckily, pregnancy was never going to be a concern but it was still a matter of trust, safety, and hygiene.

 

“Do you want to stop?” Kevin asked slowly.

 

“No,” Edd replied without hesitation. 

 

“You sure?” Kevin gently placed a hand on Edd’s back. 

 

“Just fuck me already, please.” Edd groaned. 

 

“Good enough for me.” Kevin grinned wickedly and doused his fingers in the slick gel. Pressing one finger into the tight ring of muscle and being rewarded with a moan of pleasure, Kevin’s own dick throb with pleasure.  He entered another finger and scissored them while holding onto Edd’s shoulder. A third was pushed in and Edd groaned loudly, forgetting there were 15 people in the living room who could probably hear them. 

 

“Yes, now.” Edd confirmed.  

 

“God damn,” Kevin groaned as he lined his thick dick up to his lover’s tight hole and slowly pushed in. 

 

“Oh my, lord.” Edd sighed as Kevin began thrusting.

 

“Look at us in the mirror.” Kevin urged, tugging Edd’s hair forcing him to look up. Edd’s eyes, already beginning to glaze over, were astonished by both the filth and beauty playing out before him. Kevin stood behind him, slowly thrusting in and out with his hands firmly on Edd’s hips. Edd melted perfectly into Kevin. It was so wrong to be doing this in Nazz’s bathroom. They were both still fully clothed which somehow only made it seem hotter and more illicit. .

 

“We look good.” Edd smiled as Kevin began moving faster and harder behind him. 

 

“Yeah, we do.” 

 

“I’m close.” Edd was gripping the sink tightly and pushing against Kevin who was starting to unwind. 

 

“Me too. How do you want me to finish?” Kevin panted.

 

“In me.” Edd whispered. The two words were so stunning it was enough to push Kevin over the edge and he flooded the dainty brunette’s ass.

 

“Fuck.” Kevin grunted and watched as Edd came just moments afterwards, spilling out onto the floor. 

 

“How messy.” Edd sighed as Kevin reached for toilet paper to clean up. 

 

“Probably not the worst thing to happen in this bathroom.” Kevin chuckled as he pieced himself back together. 

 

“Can we go home? I would rather not stay here past midnight.” Edd yawned, turning around to wrap his arms around Kevin’s neck.

 

“Sure. Let’s grab Julia, order a pizza, and ring in the new year alone at home.” Kevin brought Edd into his arms. 

 

“Sounds delightful.” Edd grinned. 

 

A week after the new year, Kevin found himself sitting in a McDonald’s grimy 1980’s decorated playland watching Olivia and Julia chase each other through tunnels. Olivia’s father Quincy returned to the table with a sticky red tray that held their lunches. 

 

“Line was hella long.” he explained, sitting down beside Kevin. 

 

“Well, it is lunch time on the last day of winter break.” Kevin countered.

 

“True, true. How was New Years?” 

 

“Uh, good.” Kevin smirked. “Went to a party but ended up in bed before midnight.” 

 

“Same. I was asleep by 11:30! Good thing to know I’m not the only lame-o.” 

 

“Dude, no one has said ‘lame-o’ since the last time this playland was painted.” Kevin laughed and threw a fry and Quincy. 

 

“Whatever. I’m too tired to keep up with the  _ fleek  _ new slang words these youngsters come up with.” Quincy said and watched as Kevin’s careful eyes tracked Julia whizzing through the small indoor playground. 

 

“Thanks for lunch. Julia’s been bouncing off the walls. We needed to get out of the house. I’m so fucking excited for school to start.” 

 

“Same with Olivia. Those girls wear me out.” 

 

“No joke. Glad she’s an only child.” 

 

“Imagine if they were sisters.” Quincy chuckled and took a bite of a chicken mcnugget. 

 

“Hell no.” Kevin laughed and took a long drink of his soda. Putting his cup down he quirked an eyebrow at Quincy. “Why ya staring at me? Do I have ketchup on my face?” 

 

“No,” Quincy said slowly. Before his brain could process what was happening Quincy had closed the distance between them and placed a hand on Kevin’s thigh and a rather chaste kiss on his mouth. 

 

“What the fuck, man?” Kevin sputtered after pulling away. He looked across the playland and saw Julia and Olivia up above in the tunnel system, completely oblivious. He was thankful the only other person in the playland was a parent across the room boredly scrolling their phone.

 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Quincy said quickly. “Single gay dads are hard to find! I kind of figured you were vibeing on me too.”  

 

“You have a girlfriend.” Kevin said. 

 

“There are more than two sexualities.” Quincy challenged. 

 

“Why do people keep telling me that. I know that. That’s not the point. I have a boyfriend!” 

 

“Yeah, where is he then?” 

 

“At school. His classes started on Monday. Where is your girlfriend?” 

 

“She dumped me last week!”

 

“Look, man. I’m sorry for any misunderstanding on your end. But, I’m like, super happy with what I have with Edd. Not really looking for a side piece right now.” Kevin laughed weakly and put a few extra inches of space between himself and Quincy. 

 

“No, I’m sorry I came on to you in a McDonald’s play place.” Quincy sighed. “Let’s just have lunch and...forget the hamburgler saw me try to big mack on you.” 

 

“That was  _ bad.  _ Like, really bad.” Kevin chuckled. The air was still tense and he was thankful Quincy’s piss poor attempt at a joke. Quincy called the girls over for lunch and the kiss was forgotten until the families parted ways and Kevin sent a text to Edd. 

 

**Kevin: i hate it when youre right goddamit**

 

**Edd: I’m sorry, Kevin. I’m not sure what I’m right about this time.**

 

**Kevin: Quincy made a move today at Mickey D’s. you were right.**

 

**Edd: I do love hearing that.**

 

**Kevin: I didn’t kiss back…...just so you know.**

 

**Edd: I know. I trust you always. Must return focus to class now. See you at home?**

 

**Kevin: Yeah. Love you, dork.**

 

**Edd: Love you two as well.**

 

Kevin smiled the whole car ride back to the house. When had Edd stopped referring to it as ‘your house’ and ‘my house’ and just started calling it ‘home’? 

 

“Have you ever thought about returning to school?” Edd asked Sunday night after Julia was tucked in bed. Edd was already pouring over a textbook on the first week of class. Edd had his legs tucked up under him in the chair. His glasses were perched carefully on his nose and his raven hair was falling down around his face. Kevin smiled fondly at his love and changed the channel. Kevin was shirtless and wearing sweatpants while watching a Rick and Morty, rerun. Exhausted from a long week at the shop and the thought of having to get Julia back on her school schedule starting the next morning. 

 

“No, I never have.” Kevin responded honestly. “I barely graduated high school and was only interested in college because it was what was expected of me. I’m not good at school, babe.”

**“** You’re plenty intelligent.” Edd said, flipping a page. 

 

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t like tests or papers or classes. I’m smart. I don’t need a transcript to tell me that.” 

 

“Perhaps maybe taking one class at a time you could get your business degree and when you are ready to take over Rudy’s shop you’ll be able to expand and grow the company.”

 

“Rudy didn’t go to business school and he’s doing just fine.” Kevin said sharply. He paused the tv and looked at Edd. 

 

“Yes, well-” Edd started, looking up from his text book he was greeted with Kevin’s stern face. 

 

“Just drop it. I’m perfectly happy being the dumb one in this relationship. I don’t need a degree to make me feel better about being a teen dad. I have a house. I have a thriving business. I have a healthy happy kid. You can go sit in boring school all day to feel good but spending all my time and money going to college won’t suddenly make me a happier person with a better live. You and your mom and Jackson can look down on me all you want but just...leave it alone.”

 

“Okay,” Edd sighed. “I actually have a lot of homework, already. And I need to get up early for Econ 302. I think I might go home.” 

 

“Edd, come on. Why are you upset?” Kevin groaned as Edd carefully placed the textbooks in his messenger bag. 

 

“I’m really not. I just remembered I left a notebook at home. And I have no more clean clothes here. And you have to get Julia ready for school in the morning which is chaotic enough. I need to go get ready for another boring day of classes.” 

 

“What just happened? We were having a good night.”

 

“I know. Nothing is wrong. I just need to go back to my apartment tonight.” Edd walked across the room and put his shoes on by the front door. 

 

“Double Dee what the fuck?” Kevin stood up and blocked the door. 

 

“Do you actually think I look down on you?” Edd asked. 

 

“I know your mom does. And Jackson does.” 

 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” 

 

“Well, I dunno. Maybe sometimes. I’m a big muscular dope you accidently fell in love with. This is as good as I’m gonna get. You are only going to get smarter and better and do amazing things. While I’m just going to fix cars.” Kevin huffed angrily, unleashing a passive aggressive rant he had been storing for weeks. 

 

“Kevin, never once have I ever looked down on you. You always do exactly what you want to do. No one can ever make you do something you’re not fully invested in. I truly admire you for that.” 

 

“Thanks, I guess.”

 

“Sometimes I’m not even sure if I’m attending school for me or my parents or if it’s all I know how to do. But I know going to classes and receiving good grades makes me happy. I’m astonished you would believe I would ever look down on you for not wanting to follow the same path as me. I believe it was Nazz who once said  _ you do you booboo. _ ” Edd deadpanned.

 

“Never say that again.” Kevin laughed. 

 

“I regretted it the moment I said it.” Edd sighed. “Kevin, stop assuming I’m sneakily forcing you down the road of academia. It’s not something you should enter into lightly. The world has changed since 1983 when your uncle opened up shop. The economic nature of running, maintaining, and thriving in the world small business ownership are more troubling than they once were. The only reason I ever suggested it is to give you a higher chance of success.” 

 

“I think I can manage just fine.” Kevin said petulantly. “But maybe I’ll consider it after you graduate.”

 

“I still need to go home.” Edd shifted his weight between his feet. “I wasn’t being humorous about having no clean under-clothes.” 

 

“When is your lease up?” Kevin asked bluntly. 

 

“March. Why?” 

 

“Don’t renew it.” 

 

“I’m sorry?” 

 

“Move in with me. With us. This wasn’t how I was going to ask but nothing seems to be going according to a normal plan anyways. So, move in with me.” 

 

“I love you.” Was all Edd said after a minute. 

 

“But-” Kevin sighed.

 

“But...I need my own space. Especially now. I need to focus. I need to graduate in the highest tier of my class. As much as I adore you and Julia, I can’t leave my solace behind. If I were to leave a text book out on the counter there is a 73% chance there will be grape jam on it by the time I return. If I leave a notebook out, most likely there will be scribbles in it next time I need it. She’s a wonderful girl but she’s loud and exhausting and I can’t write a thesis paper in an environment like this. Kevin, I need...my own space.” Edd dropped his head, not meeting his boyfriend’s hurt expression. 

 

“You’re right.” Kevin said icily. “You need to go home. Get some sleep.” 

 

“I don’t have class on Tuesday. I’ll see you the day after tomorrow.” Edd offered weakly. 

 

“Mhm.” Kevin shrugged and stepped aside. 

 

“I do love you.” Edd stood on the balls of his feet and kissed Kevin’s cheek.

 

“I know.”

 

Kevin shut the door behind Edd and watched as Edd drove slowly down the road. So much for home being one place.  

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. :( I adore the outpouring support for this story. It's such an amazing thing to me that so many people love my writing. ^_^ my excuses are boring, life got crazy. Hope you enjoy this!

**Kevin: hey babe. I’m sorry. I know you don’t like sudden things. Shouldnt have sprung that on you.**

 

**Kevin: Let’s just hit the undo button. Never asked you to move it. We had a good night. You went home to study. That’s it.**

 

**Kevin: Edd? Why aren’t you answering me? C’mon baby…**

 

**Kevin: Whatever.**

 

Edd groaned upon seeing this string of messages Monday morning. Once home the night before, Edd switched off his phone and sank deep into the comfortable words of his microbiology textbook. He continued ignoring these ominous messages and tried to begin his morning. Though his mind was a tangled knot of half finished thoughts. He had only left Kevin’s house roughly twelve hours ago, but the way they left things made it seem like ages. He wasn’t intentionally ignoring Kevin, per say. But realistically, he just hadn’t thought of what he wanted to say in response. During class, Edd found his thoughts wandering, unable to focus on what was usually a fascinating lecture. His typically well bulleted and color coated notes, today were mostly blank and unhelpful one-word keywords. Once the professor dismissed the class, Edd noticed he hadn’t truly absorbed anything that was said. Frowning, he headed to the student lounge, reasoning with himself that this was exactly why he hadn’t ever pursued relationships. They ate up too much brain space and left too little room for much else. 

 

Edd and Eddy had taken to meeting in the mostly empty student lounge some mornings as they both had class at the same time. Eddy was already eating a donut at a small table while scrolling on his phone. Edd approached and Eddy looked up from his glowing screen.

 

“You look like shit,” Eddy commented as his friend sat down across from him. 

 

“I find I did not sleep well last night. There were many racing thoughts.”  Edd sighed. 

 

“How come?” 

 

“It seems Kevin and I are in a small tiff.” 

 

“Oh, a small tiff you say. Well, I bet it will blow over by tea time.” Eddy teased playfully. 

 

“He wishes me to move in when my apartment lease is up,” Edd said blankly.

 

“And?” 

 

“I said no. Well, actually I told him I couldn’t live in the same house as his daughter.” Edd cringed, remembering how Kevin’s face had fallen when Edd ranted about how chaotic Julia is. 

 

“Harsh, Double Dee. Super harsh.” Eddy took a bite of his doughnut and looked at his friend. He looked absolutely ragged like he had been up all night trying to solve an endless equation. 

 

“I’m aware. But it’s true! I cannot reside in the same house as a child. Not at this point in my studies. I do not think I’m ready to be a step-father anyways. It would just...be difficult.” 

 

“Say, this wouldn’t have anything to do with what your mom said on New Year’s, would it?” Edd asked, arching an eyebrow. He remembered Edd venting angrily to him over the phone the following day. It was always the same after his mother came back home for a day or the weekend. Edd became red faced and flustered. Ranting indignantly about how she had no right to say such things about his life that she had no part in. 

 

“No. Not at all.” Edd said hurriedly, feeling his face flush red. 

 

“Really? Because you were all but ready to marry him three weeks ago. Then you go out to dinner with your mom and get all shifty like you always do after seeing the Poison Doctor.”   
  


“Don’t call her that.” Edd rolled his eyes.

 

“It’s true! Anytime she rolls into town she guilts you into seeing her. Tears down your self-esteem. And leaves us to pick up the pieces.” Eddy snapped.

 

“She’s my mother. I  _ have  _ to see her.” Edd mumbled. 

 

“Real talk for a minute, Sockhead. She freaked you out with all her psycho babble about how having you really set back her and your dad’s careers. But she started leaving home alone at like, ten! And before that, you went  _ with  _ them on long trips or stayed with us. So, clearly, you didn’t set them back too much.”

 

“Having a child is a huge responsibility. I’m sure that much of the time they could have been progressing themselves they were dealing with my needs.” 

 

“No shit, Sherlock. It’s called parenting. That’s what you  _ do.  _ You think lumpy likes waking up at three in the morning to change a shit covered baby before going to work for eleven hours? Nah. But he’s a dad who inexplicably loves that shit covered baby. And he sure as hell doesn’t make that kid feel guilty for needing help in life. Just like your mom shouldn’t make you feel guilty for needing her growing up. It was her choice to have a kid.” Eddy took a long drink from his coffee mug and watched Edd digest all of this information. 

 

“That was rather mature of you, Eddy,” Edd said after a moment. 

 

“Yeah, I know. Not just another pretty face.” Eddy winked. “Fuck, I’ve gotta go. If I miss another class I’m in deep shit.”

 

“But class has only been in session for two weeks.” 

 

“Exactly. Talk to you later, man. Call Kev and work this shit out.” Eddy grabbed his bag and dashed out of the common area. Edd was left staring at his phone that had not chimed since last night. 

 

After getting Julia off to school Kevin headed into work. It was only nine in the morning but already he was deeply disgruntled and did not seeing the day turning around. Rudy was leaning against his office door munching on a chocolate donut when Kevin arrived into work. Outside the world was drenched in a January slush. Too warm for snow but too cold for rain. It was just gray angry slush. Much like Kevin’s mood. Inside the garage was toasty warm, Kevin stripped off his wet hoodie and walked past his uncle without greeting. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be telling me not to eat this garbage,” Rudy asked, following his nephew back to the break area. 

 

“Not in the mood. Don’t have the energy.” Kevin muttered as he selected a peanut butter long jon from the box of donuts. 

 

“What’s up your ass?” Rudy scoffed. 

 

“Many many things. Julia fought me tooth and nail on the way to school today. My car is making a weird noise. Edd isn’t talking to me. I am about four days past my bedtime.” Kevin rattled off and took a bite of his pastry. 

 

“Why isn’t the boy talking to you?” 

 

“It’s stale.” Kevin ignored the question and wrinkled his nose. 

 

“They’re from yesterday.” Rudy said. 

 

“Ah. Has the owner of the Taurus been called yet?” Kevin took another bite of the leftover donut. 

“We’ll we’ve been open all of twenty minutes, so no.” Rudy crossed his arms and looked at Kevin. He was jittery and anxious, filled with pent up energy and aggression. He used to get like this when he was much younger. Baseball and football helped wear him out but whenever he felt out of control, out of sync, Kevin would be bouncing off the walls. That’s when he went out looking for trouble. 

 

“Kev, what’s going on?” Rudy asked as he sunk into an old folding chair. 

 

“Nothin’.” Kevin shrugged. “I’m gonna get to work.” 

 

“Like hell you are. I’m not gonna trust you with any power tools until you calm down and won’t saw your arm off.” Rudy scoffed. 

 

“Jesus, I’m fine. Just, let me work or whatever.” Kevin groaned, scrubbing his face with his hands. 

 

“You two fighting?” 

 

“Huh?” Kevin was watching the second hand flick around the face of the clock instead of the worry flick across his uncle’s face. 

 

“You and Edd. I assume this shitty attitude comes from a disagreement you two are having. I’m no better after me and the wife fight.” 

 

“No, we’re not fighting. That would require him actually  _ talking  _ to me.” 

 

“Care to elaborate on that, son?” Rudy said gruffly. The Barr men weren’t talkers. Rudy and his brother Gregg certainly had no idea how to navigate the choppy waters of teen love. Usually muttering something about the dryer needing fixing while allowing the mothers to easily talk the angst ridden youth off the cliff of hormone fabricated love. But here and now in a small break room he looked at how torn up Kevin looked. A thought crease was deep between his eyebrows as he watched the small TV report the morning news. Looking anywhere but at the problem. 

 

“I spooked him. Asked him to move in with me. In March.” 

 

“Ya’ll haven’t been together that long.” Rudy pointed out. 

 

“I know. But March is two months away. By then it will be, like six months. Didn’t figure it was too soon by then. You and Aunt Robin had only been together, like, seven months.” Kevin shrugged.

 

“Yeah, and she was eight weeks pregnant. So, unless there’s something we should know about Edd.” Rudy laughed.

 

“Nope. Not sure he even wants kids. Apparently, Julia is cramping his academic style.” 

 

“Now, Red. Did he say that or are you spinning webs out of hollow words?” 

 

“He said she is loud and messy and it’s hard to focus on school when she’s around.” 

 

“I love that little girl more than anything but she’s just like her mama. She’s loud, messy, and demands to be the center of attention. I don’t blame Edd for saying that.”

 

“I guess I don’t either.” Kevin sighed and sat down in a folding chair across from his uncle. “It just sucks most of the time being the only parent in a group of idiots who are enjoying their twenties.” 

 

“Didn’t you say one of your friends just had a daughter?”

 

“Yeah, but he doesn’t count.” Kevin groaned like a frustrated child. 

 

“Having a kid changes everything. You have to think further into the future about more permanent things. What’s best for them versus what you want. You’ve been handed a cursed deck of cards. You might see Edd as a done deal, but he probably can’t see past finals.” 

 

“No, he can see decades ahead of all of us. I’m just not always sure I’m there with him. He’s got a one track mind. I don’t think settling down into a family was ever going to be on his agenda. Not to mention dealing with baby-daddy drama and a high-strung kindergartener and a mechanic going nowhere in life.” 

 

“You said that Jackson was dealt with. So, don’t bring it up if it doesn’t matter anymore. No one wants to deal with a five-year-old. They’re kind of adorable jerks. And who says you’re going nowhere in life? Bud, you’re life is literally just getting started.” 

 

“Yeah, well. I don’t wanna go back to school and  _ further my abilities _ .” Kevin inflected his voice to mock his boyfriend. 

 

“Why not? I sure as hell wish I had.” Rudy scoffed. Kevin looked at his uncle with shock and bewilderment. 

 

“But I didn’t think you liked school.”

 

“Hated it. But I admit I could have made a lot more money if I had a degree and knew how to properly finance and budget and other shit like that. Instead, I made excuses and fumbled around and made a metric shit-ton of mistakes in the early years of this shop. Nowadays they’ve got scholarships and loans for everyone. If I wasn’t so damn old I’d consider going back just for the hell of it. But you know what they say about old dogs. Just leave them be to nap.” 

 

“So I should go back?” 

 

“I don’t know what you should or shouldn’t be doing. I’m just saying you’ve gotta think big picture. Yeah, essays and tests would suck but having a college degree would open so many doors for you. And as for Edd. You did spook him. Give him some time to come around. Apologize and move on.” 

 

“Apologize? What the fuck for? Assuming we were both ready to make a big step and be happy together?” Kevin scoffed.

 

“Pretty much. Believe me. It’s just a lot easier to apologize to them than it is to continue reasoning with them.” Rudy winked playfully and stood from his chair. 

 

“Thanks, Uncle Rudy.”

 

“Sure, sure. Go ahead and call the owner of the Taurus. We spent too much time in here gabbing like girls.” 

 

Before Kevin could pick up his cellphone to send one last message to Edd, a text popped up on his screen. 

 

**Edd: Care to have lunch?**

**Kevin: Sounds great. Meet at your house around one.**

 

Kevin smirked and made a mental note to stop by home before going to Edd’s.

 

At one in the afternoon Kevin knocked on the door to Edd’s apartment, instead of using his key. It was an awkward formality but it felt necessary. After a brief moment Edd came to the door and looked puzzled. 

 

“Why didn’t you just use your key?”  Edd asked as Kevin took off his shoes at the doorway. 

 

“I dunno. Thought maybe you were still mad at me.” Kevin shrugged and hovered awkwardly near Edd. Unsure if he should hug him or keep back. Most fights Kevin partook in were loud and messy. Not as quiet and unsure as this one. 

 

“I was never mad.” Edd said plainly. He was wearing his hair piled messily on top of his head wrapped with a pink elastic that most likely belonged to Julia. His glasses framed his candy-blue eyes perfectly. He was wearing an old pair of Kevin’s sweats that hung low on his hips. There was a small line of tummy that was peaking through from where his snug t-shirt didn’t reach. Edd looked so cozy in his at-home attire. Somehow he was more sexy like this than he was all dressed up. Kevin attributed it to the fact that only  _ he  _ was allowed to see Edd wearing baggy pants and a man bun. Outside in the real world, Edd was so put together and posh. But on a slushy winter day, Kevin got to see the petite man in a way no one else did. 

 

“Then why were you ignoring me?” Kevin asked, his voice struggling to stay neutral. 

 

“I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to send you false words with no meaning. I wanted to wait until I could properly decipher my thoughts and emotions in order to prevent any hurt feelings.” 

 

“Good lord, I wish I could do that.” Kevin laughed, taking half a step closer to Edd. Edd didn’t move away from him like a repelling magnet. Instead he closed the distance and wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist, tucking his head under Kevin’s chin. 

 

“I apologize for neglecting you and making you feel as though I was angry when in fact I was dealing with my own childhood burdens.” Edd muttered into the warm cloth of Kevin’s sweatshirt. Kevin kissed the top of Edd’s head and guided them to the couch. 

 

“Did your mom fuck you up that badly?” Kevin asked once they were seated. Kevin had his legs outstretched on the coffee table and Edd was lying with his head in Kevin’s lap.

 

“I suppose so. Kevin, nearly eighty percent of me wants to move in with you. But the other twenty percent is terrified what it means. Giving up my apartment is like giving up part of me. It’s silent. Clean. Organized. You two are the technicolor to my greyscale. I love living in your world but sometimes it’s nice to retreat to my own little habitat.” 

 

“I understand that.” Kevin said after a minute, while lazily stroking Edd’s hair. “What if we compromised?” 

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“When it’s time to move, you find a smaller apartment closer to my house? You move 95% of your stuff into my house. Including that glorious mattress you have back there. But you get to go back to your hamster cage when you need space or to study or when I want to do that  _ thing  _ to you that makes you squeal and we can’t do at my house.”  Kevin leaned down and kissed Edd’s nose. 

 

“Move into a smaller apartment for studying and sex?” Edd repeated with a small laugh. 

 

“Pretty much, yeah.” 

 

“Not a bad idea, my love.” Edd smiled, much to Kevin’s surprise. 

 

“I’m glad you think so.” Kevin grinned wickedly. 

 

“So, we’re going to move in together.” 

 

“At least 95% of us.” 

 

“How much longer do you have for lunch?” 

 

“As long as I want, really. The shop isn’t too busy. Why?” Kevin looked down at Edd’s expressionless face. Calm and kind with innocent eyes. 

 

“Want to go do that thing that makes me squeal?” 

 

“Oh, shit. I thought you’d never ask.” Kevin leaned down and the two men kissed passionately. 

 

“Really, now?” Edd asked once the kiss broke. 

 

“Gotta be real, babe. The man bun does it for me.” Kevin joked and tugged Edd from the couch into the bedroom. March couldn’t come soon enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summer is almost over so my updates (might be) more regular. Please review, leave kudos, and bookmark. They make me so happy! <3 <3 <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this update is so slow coming. It's a really fluffy chapter with Edd and Julia bonding, so I hope you deem it worth the wait!

As January dripped away and February ticked by Edd found himself spending more and more time working in his greenhouse. He was trying hard to further his cross pollination of certain plants and figure out his graduation thesis. The greenhouse was often empty and always warm, which was a welcomed contrast to the freezing world outside the glass walls. Edd was deep in thought, murmuring to himself and jotting down notes in his pad when the door was pushed open. The sudden blast of icy air caused Edd too look up and see two bundled redheads entering the shelter. Edd grinned, despite his confusion, and walked over to them. 

 

“What on Earth are you doing here?” Edd asked. Julia and Kevin were wearing their hats, gloves, coats, and scattered snowflakes. A stark contrast to Edd’s slacks and sweater with beads of sweat on his forehead. Julia was unwinding her scarf and looking up at Edd with a lopsided smile. 

 

“I get to hang out with you today!” Julia said happily as she took off her mittens.

 

“I’m sorry?” Edd looked at Kevin who looked more than a little stressed. 

 

“The elementary schools have a snow day today. No one can watch her and I need to go to another auto shop two counties over to pick up a part for a car that we don’t have in our shop. I’d take her but the heat in my car doesn’t always work. Can she hang out with you today, please?  Just for a few hours.” Kevin pleaded. 

 

“Uh, of course. My classes were canceled as well. I was just trying to log a few more hours in the greenhouse.” Edd plucked the hat off Julia and took her coat to the coat rack. Julia was closely looking at a few daisies in a pot and Kevin followed Edd towards the door. 

 

“Thank you so much, baby. I promise she’ll be super good. I’ll make it up to you.” 

 

“Kevin, I’m not worried about it. I’ve been alone with her before.” 

 

“I know but...this is different. I’m not in the other room or down the street.” Kevin shrugged. 

 

“It will be fine.” Edd smiled and tried to hide his panic about the change of plans. This was his chance to prove to Kevin that he could be a good  _ step- _ parent. A seemingly daunting task despite his comfortability with the girl.

 

“Okay. Awesome. I’ll hurry and be back soon. The roads are a little rough, but it’s not too far away.” Kevin kissed Edd on the cheek and waved to Julia. 

 

“Be safe.” Edd said. 

 

“Always. Love you, guys.” Kevin said as he went back outside. Edd watched Julia in silence for a full minute, allowing this moment in time to sink in. Kevin was right, this was fully different. Edd was in charge of keeping this tiny human safe all on his own. He had known Julia for a little over six months, but things could still get awkward. He wasn’t sure how to handle delicate situations or topics. Unsure of what Kevin would want him to say in regards to mythical childhood figures or difficult questions. Now, he had no choice but to push through on his own. At this moment Julia seemed enamored with a small cactus in a blue pot with one pink flower on top. 

 

“B-be careful, Jim bites.” Edd joked lightly as he saw Julia reach slightly to tentatively touch one of the cactus’ thorns.

 

“Jim?” Julia asked, dropping her hand back down. 

 

“Mhm. I’ve had him since I was a child. Perhaps around your age. Mother wouldn’t let me have a pet, so we compromised. She allowed me to pick out my own plant while we were in Arizona on a business trip.  I picked Jim.” 

 

“Cool. He’s super old, I bet. Anytime I plant a flower it dies immediately.” Julia pouted. Edd ignored the  _ super old  _ comment as Edd himself was only 22. 

 

“So, I’ve seen. You know this is my job? To keep plants healthy and alive and help them grow. Maybe I could help you.” 

 

“Really?” Julia’s eyes lit up. 

 

“Sure. Would you like to pick out your own flower seeds? You could keep it here in the greenhouse.”

 

“Awesome!” Julia hopped off the stool she was sitting on and followed Edd to the back of the greenhouse where rows of packets of seeds were stored carefully on shelves and buckets. Edd bit his lip and mused for a moment. He pulled three seed packets from the shelf and showed them to Julia. 

 

“Here, pick one. A pick orchid, an African violet, or a yellow hibiscus?” 

 

“I like the yellow one.” Julia pointed to the seed packet after a moment. 

 

“Hold this and take it over to the work bench. I’ll be there in a moment.” Edd instructed before turning back around to select a small clay pot and some soil for her. Back at the table, he placed the tools in front of the eager girl. 

 

“Am I gonna get to plant it and everything?” 

 

“Indeed. Here scoop the soil into the pot, only about halfway.” 

 

“M’kay.” Julia took the dirty scoop and transferred the soil into the pot. Following Edd’s instructions, she gently placed the seeds into the soil and watered it. From the apron in his pocket, Edd produced a sticky name badge and a sharpie. 

 

“Recent studies have proven that if you create a bond with your plants they will grow stronger. Now, I’m not fully certain that’s accurate but it is fun. What would you like to name your flower?” Edd asked. 

 

“Ummm...Holly the He-bis-cuts.” Julia smiled. Edd didn’t bother correcting her pronunciation, this time. 

 

“That’s funny. Holly is another kind of plant. So is, Heather actually.” 

 

“I know a girl named Daisy Rose.” Julia added while writing the name Holly on the sicker and adhering it to the pot. Edd helped her carry the flower pot over to a safe shelf. 

 

“That looks great.” Edd complimented. He glanced down at his watch and saw it was already 11:25. 

 

“Are you hungry?” he asked his small companion. 

 

“Yeah! Let’s get some eats.” Julia cheered and followed Edd to the door. 

 

“I have a pretty neat idea.” 

 

“McDonalds? Burger King? Taco Bell?” 

 

“You eat too much fast food.” Edd frowned. “How would you like to eat in the college cafeteria?” 

 

“Where’s that?” Julia asked as Edd straightened her hat. 

 

“Only a short walk. It’s where students, like myself, get their meals.” Edd put on his coat and opened the door. A blast of icy February air hit their faces. 

 

“Let’s walk fast.” Julia said, reaching for Edd’s gloved hand.

 

“Indeed.” Edd smiled at her and they walked hand in hand to the center of the campus. Though most classes were canceled, there were still students from the dorms milling around inside the cafeteria. Edd lead Julia through the line, allowing her to pick out her own lunch. Grilled cheese, banana, and a piece of chocolate cake that had probably been there since yesterday. 

 

“Look who it is!” Julia pointed excitedly across the room. “Aunt Nazz!” 

 

“Sure is.” Edd trailed behind Julia as she excitedly bounded over to Nazz and Eddy. Edd looked a little sour about the new company but quickly changed his face with Edd arched a challenging eyebrow. 

 

“Hi-ya, Lil’ Bit.” Nazz greeted and hugged the girl. Edd sat down across from the couple and had Julia sit beside him. 

 

“What are you doing on campus at this time? Were your classes not canceled?” Edd asked. 

 

“No, they were. We got hungry.” Eddy said with a wry smile. Edd rolled his eyes. 

 

“I got snowed in last night. A plow dumped snow on my car. That’s what I get for parking on the street.” Nazz shrugged, clearly not bothered by the inconvenience. 

 

“Why are you here?” Eddy asked, looking at Julia. 

 

“Daddy had to go somewhere for work. I did some gardening.” Julia explained in between bites of her sandwich.

 

“Kevin needed to drive out of town to get a part for a car he is working on. We worked out in the greenhouse for a bit. After this we will go home. Er, their house.” Edd elaborated. 

 

“Well, aren’t you two just adorable.” Nazz gushed. Eddy rolled his eyes. 

 

“So, when does  _ their  _ house become  _ your  _ house, Double Dee?” Eddy asked. 

 

“The 17th of March. Though, I am maintaining my apartment as well. At first, I thought I would move to a smaller one closer to their house but I couldn’t find one comparable in price. So, instead, I will move most of my belongings into Kevin’s home except for my study and lab equipment to keep in my current apartment. At this moment our finances are still fairly separate.”

 

“That was dull.” Eddy huffed. “Was hoping to get you all ruffled and stuttery.” 

 

“I’m aware.” Edd said with a sly grin. Honestly, the concept of moving in with Kevin and Julia no longer terrified him. He didn’t get ruffled and stuttery anymore. If anything, he was excited. 

 

“I have a loose tooth!” Julia interjected and wiggled the loose front tooth with her tongue. Eddy grimaced slightly. Something about loose teeth always unnerved him. 

 

“Cool, kiddo. C’mon, Nazz. Let’s go back to my room and do anything that isn’t half as domestic as this.”  he said, rising from the table.

 

“Oh, God, Eddy.” Nazz laughed and rolled her eyes. She stood up from the table and hugged Julia and waved goodbye to Edd. 

 

“Where are they going?” Julia asked, taking a drink from her chocolate milk carton. 

 

“Hopefully, to study and make good life choices.” Edd said dryly. After lunch, the duo walked back to the lot where Edd’s car was parked.

 

“I want to go to the playground.” Julia announced once Edd ensured she was safely buckled in the backseat.

 

“What? Julia, it’s freezing. The playgrounds will be empty.” Edd laughed as he began slowly maneuvering out of the lot.

 

“Exactly! The snow stopped and I could have everything to myself!” 

 

“Well, I suppose. I always did like colder weather as well. Things seemed more peaceful.” 

 

“I like the snow when it crunches.” 

 

“Me too. We can play at the playground for a few minutes. I don’t want you to get frostbitten.” 

 

“Daddy’s right. You worry too much.” 

 

“Oh, is that right?” Edd chuckled. They talked aimlessly for a few minutes until Edd pulled into the ghost town of a playground. He parked, let Julia out of the car, and watched as she gleefully bounded across the snow covered wood chips. 

 

“This is so cool!” Julia cheered as she clambered up on a swing. Edd smiled fondly as she began to pump her little legs as hard as she could. In this moment, Edd raised his phone and snapped a quick picture of her, then sending it to Kevin. 

 

**Edd: She’s having fun at the playground.**

 

**Kevin: WTF ITS FREEZING**

 

**Edd: We won’t be here long.**

 

**Kevin: Good! Man, this was a complete waste of time. I could have just ordered the part online and spent the extra $15. Wish I were with you two.**

 

**Edd: Likewise. We will see you soon. Be safe.**

 

**Kevin: You too. Love you. :D**

 

Before Edd could respond in kind, a bloodcurdling shriek filled his ears. He snapped his head up and saw Julia lying on the snowy ground crying just as hard as a little girl could cry. She was no longer on the swing, instead she was at the base of the jungle gym that was slick with ice. 

 

“What happened? Julia! What happened?” Edd asked as he ran over to her.

 

“I-I fell off!” the girl howled. She was clutching her arm close to her body. 

 

“Can you move your arm?” 

 

“No! It’s so slippery I fell off and hurt myself really bad.” Julia wailed.  

 

“Oh, no. Oh, no.” Edd muttered, gently reaching out to inspect her arm. Despite the padding of her puffy coat, it did seem that her arm was causing her a great deal of indiscernible pain. 

 

“I want my daddy!” big fat tears rolled off her face and into the snow surrounding her. Edd’s stomach plummeted into his feet. 

 

“I’ll call him as soon as we get you to the doctor. It could just be a bone bruise but I don’t want to risk it.” Edd gently helped the girl to her feet and got her back into the car. Her sobbing had subsided into throaty whimpers of pain. Edd cautiously drove quickly to the ER and ushered her into the empty waiting room. 

 

“Er, hello. My...boyfriend’s daughter...fell off some playground equipment and cannot move her arm.” Edd explained quickly to the nurse at the check in counter. Julia was leaning on him and hiding her face into his side.

 

“Okay, dear. Let’s get you checked in. What’s her name and age? Do you have her insurance information?” the heavy set woman asked with a gentle smile.

 

“Julia Barr. She’s five. She’ll be six in April. April 21st. I don’t have her insurance but her dad does. I’ll call him.” 

 

“It’s alright. Honey, give me your other wrist. We’ll get this bracelet on you and my friend will take you and your step-dad back to a room.” 

 

“O-okay.” Julia half cried and held out her non-injured arm. The nurse wrapped her identification bracelet around Julia’s dainty wrist. Edd held her close as they were guided back to a small examination room. Surprisingly quickly, the doctor came in to see them. She poked and prodded and then whisked Julia away in a wheelchair for x-rays. Edd sat alone in the room looking around, wondering how he got here. The last hour had gone by so quickly and now he had to tell Kevin he had accidentally broken his daughter. Slowly, he pulled out his phone and called Kevin. 

 

“Hey, baby, what’s up? I was just about to head your way.” Kevin answered, sounding distracted in the car. 

 

“Well. We aren’t at home yet.” Edd started.

 

“Where are you? Are you okay? You sound weird.” 

 

“We are at St. Catherine’s Hospital. Julia fell off some playground equipment. The doctor thinks she may have broken her arm. They have taken her for x-rays now. I’m so sorry.” 

 

“What the fuck!” Kevin shouted. Edd heard him hit the steering wheel in rage. 

 

“She is fine otherwise!” Edd quickly said. 

 

“Edd, she has a goddamn broken bone that she didn’t have three hours ago. Whatever. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Kevin hung up without saying anything else. Edd had a bitter taste in his mouth. It was another fifteen minutes before Julia returned. The doctor helped her to bed and then turned to the computer in the room. 

 

“Well, it looks like a break on her ulna. She got it pretty good but she’s a trooper. We’re going to give her some medication for the pain and fit her for a splint. I’ll give you a number to call the orthopedic doctor to make an appointment for a proper cast.” the doctor said easily. She explained this while typing the orders into the computer. 

 

“I want a pink one!” Julia said with a shaky smile. When she smiled Edd noticed something. 

 

“Oh my god, honey. You lost your tooth.” Edd’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

 

“I don’t know where the tooth is. Will the tooth fairy still come see me?” Julia frowned and it looked like all the pain of the day was coming back to her. Edd, who was standing again, closed the distance between them and wrapped the small girl in his arms. 

 

“Yes, Julia. The tooth fairy will still come visit you.” 

 

“Okay, dad. The nurse will be in just a few minutes with some meds and papers for you to sign. After we get that splint on things will feel a little better.” The doctor smiled.

 

“I’m not her-” but Edd was cut off when Kevin entered the room. Edd stepped away from Julia and the doctor hid her surprise slightly as the tall ginger man came in and embraced the small girl. 

 

“Hi, baby girl. Sorry, it took me so long. Are you okay?” Kevin said very quickly while stroking her hair. All the attention seemed to have stirred the emotions and Julia’s lower lip was quivering again.

 

“Oh, hello. I’m Dr. Kellogg. I’ve been treating Julia.” Dr. Kellogg extended her hand and Kevin shook it briskly. 

 

“Thank you. What’s been going on?” 

 

“I was just telling your husband that Julia has a simple break of her ulna. The nurse will be here any moment with some pain medication for her. We will get her fitted for a splint. In your discharge paperwork, there will be a phone number of the orthopedic doctor who will get her bright  _ pink  _ cast on later this week.”

 

“He’s not my...okay, thanks.” Kevin grumbled, deciding it wasn’t worth the sitcom level antics relaying his and Edd’s relationship to a stranger. He and Edd shook the doctor’s hand again as she left the room.

 

“I lost my tooth!” Julia said, beaming up at her father after Dr. Kellogg had left, prodding the empty gap with her tongue. “I don’t know where the tooth is but Edd said the tooth fairy will still come.” 

 

“She sure will.” Kevin kissed Julia’s head and looked at Edd. Edd smiled sheepishly at his boyfriend. 

 

“I’m sorry.” he said quietly. 

 

“S’alright. I’m sure this day was coming. I’m just bothered it happened when I wasn’t here. You seemed to have handled it pretty good, though.” Kevin grumbled and brought Edd into a hug. 

 

“Knock, knock!” a cheerful voice broke up the men’s hug. A young man was at the curtained doorway. “I’m Ethan. I’m here for Miss Julia.”

 

“That’s me.” Julia said. She was still holding her arm close. It was throbbing with pain but she was keeping a brave face. 

 

“I’m going to give you some medicine that will make you a little sleepy and put a small splint on your arm to keep your wobbly bones steady. Cool beans? Now, can one of you dads confirm her birthday?” Ethan smiled at Kevin and Edd. Edd motioned for Kevin to answer and sat back down in the chair. Another hour passed and Kevin drove a sleeping Julia home. Edd was trailing behind in his car. 

 

The events of the day were sinking down on him. It had just occurred to him that everyone they ran into automatically assumed he, Kevin, and Julia were a family. No one tried to do the mental math how two young men could have a 5-year-old daughter. No one laughed and asked how the gawky nerd ended up with the sexy athlete. It was like the three of them belonged together. Never in his life would Edd have guessed that the one place he would end up fitting in perfectly, was with a family unit that Kevin Barr was the head of. Edd had longed for over a decade to feel this comfortable and safe with someone. Sometimes, he figured, the weirdest happenings in life were also the best. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read, Review, Kudos, Bookmark, Etc... <3 I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I just can't seem to find a stopping point. Thanks to those of you who have hung on this long! I think I have one more climactic drama left in this store before I wrap up with a happy ending. I'm not sure. Either way, thank you so much for all your support!


	19. Obvious Hiatus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support. You all are amazing and deserve honesty.

Okay. Guys. I’m so sorry. My life has been turned upside down in the last year. I got divorced from my toxic husband. Became a single mom. Started my master's degree. Got engaged to my high school sweetheart...who is in the U.S. Navy, got pregnant...and I’ve lost track of time and things. 

This story is on a semi-permanent-hiatus….I LOVE THIS STORY but I’m kind of hit a creative brick wall. Long story short...Kevin and Edd end up happily ever after, tra la la. 

I am starting another KevEdd story. With a different, yet similar, theme.

But this one...it just reminds me too much of the dark place I was in last year. I might finish it down the road, but not right now.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: You guys are just so wildly supportive. I can't believe it. I decided to give it one more go. Over the weekend I read and reread this story. I think I've got a few more twists and turns left in this story before we let Edd and Kevin and Julia have a happy ending. ;) Again, thank you for your continual adoration of this little universe I've created.**

Winter finally gave way to a begrudging spring. It was late March and Kevin and Edd lounged lazily on the large bed taking up most of the bedroom. They had just finished moving the agreed upon 95% of Edd’s life into Kevin’s small two bedroom house. Julia was with the grandparents for the weekend. It was just the two of them, the windows open allowing a gentle breeze, and some languid kissing. 

“Hey, Dork. Guess what.” Kevin asked, kissing the smaller man’s jawline.

“What would that be, love?” Edd murmured in return, fully enjoying the affection being bestowed upon him. 

“Six months ago today you asked me to be your boyfriend. That’s like three years in Gay Time.” Kevin chuckled.

“I was unaware our sexuality allowed us to partake in our own timeline.” Edd laughed. “However, happy six month...anniversary?”

“Something like that.” 

“How should we celebrate?” 

“Hmm...how about this?” Kevin swiftly rolled on top of Edd and began sucking at his neck and grinding down on his thigh. Edd moaned appreciatively. With all the stress of moving, midterms, and Julia’s broken arm, neither man had felt particularly  _ sexy  _ recently. It had been nearly two weeks since they made love. The afternoon light was streaming in, warming the room. Edd always felt so beautiful the way Kevin kissed every inch of him. Kevin never felt more adored than when Edd had his legs wrapped around his waist, holding on for dear life as he pushed into his lover. Moans and grunts and small giggles filled the silence in the room. It was nothing kinky, wild, or unruly. It was slow, passionate, and protective. Genuine love. 

Afterward, Kevin had his large frame wrapped around Edd’s pale body. Kissing his shoulder and stroking his skin. Edd was on his way to a luxurious post-coitious afternoon nap. 

“Hey, baby?” Kevin whispered into Edd’s ear. 

“Yes?” Edd slowly responded. 

“You wanna get married?” 

“Sure, Kevin, sure.” Edd laughed. 

“Double Dee, I’m being serious.” Kevin forcibly turned Edd around so they were nose to nose. “You’re the only human I want to be with. The only person I can legitimately envision helping me raise my daughter. You drive me crazy, but goddammit. I love you, Dork.” 

“It seems you have not yet come down from that oxytocin rush you achieved during orgasm,” Edd said with a laugh. 

“What part of  _ I’m being serious _ did you not understand?” Kevin half pouted. He hated when Edd shot down ideas before even considering. 

“Kevin, we have only just moved in together.” Edd’s brow furrowed in frustration. Kevin was always rushing ideas around like a child having just eaten a batch of cupcakes. “In fact, we have been living together for less than four hours. Two of those have been spent lying in this bed.” 

“Eddward, I will marry you,” Kevin said sternly without a hint of humor in his voice. 

“Oh, I’m sure. However, we can’t just do it  _ now.  _ I’d say let us live together for at least three months before becoming formally engaged. Allow Julia some time to adjust to sharing her home. Then perhaps we can plan getting married. There’s always the discussion of blending finances, and our goals together as a couple, would we have more children, would we move…” 

“I didn’t hear a no in there.” Kevin teased. 

“I suppose you didn’t…” 

“And didn’t you say  _ formally  _ engaged. Doesn’t that mean that we could be  _ informally  _ engaged before then?” 

“I don’t see why not…” Edd murmured, unsure what an informal engagement was. 

“Hell yeah.” Kevin smiled wildly at the brunette in his arms. “Then let me ask again, Eddward Marion Vincent, will you eventually marry me?” 

“Yes. Kevin Martin Barr. I will eventually, in the future, marry you.” 

“God, Dweeb. Was that so friggen difficult?” Kevin laughed and kissed his pseudo-fiance’s neck, thus initiating round two. 

A few nights later Kevin, Nazz, Eddy, and Edd were hanging out in Kevin’s living room watching the basketball game. Well, Eddy and Kevin were. Nazz was nervously biting her fingernails and staring off into space. Edd was sixteen chapters deep in his Organic Chemistry textbook. 

“Go! Go! Go!” Kevin chanted loudly. 

“Yes!” Eddy cheered wildly. Edd smiled at the way his two favorite men were bonding over such a cliche concept such as a sports game. 

“Nazz did you see that?” Eddy asked of his disinterested girlfriend.

“Oh, huh? Yeah. Neat.” She said without making eye contact. 

“You cool, babe?” Eddy asked, though clearly not looking for a real answer that might ruin basketball night.

“Yeah. Just fine. Hey, Double Dee. Can you help me out in the kitchen?” Nazz got up and headed to the separate room before waiting for his answer. 

“Um, yes. Of course.” Edd looked at Kevin for aid but was given none as he and Eddy were babbling wildly about the wild play that had just occurred. He followed his friend into the kitchen and found Nazz nervously twisting her hands and leaning against the counter. 

“How can I be of service, Nazz?” Edd asked kindly. 

“I’m late.” She blurted out tactlessly. 

“For what event? Do you need a ride somewhere?” 

“No, Edd. My  _ period.  _ It’s over a week late. I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to tell Eddy because he’ll freak out. I don’t wanna tell Kevin because he’ll castrate Eddy. But you’re always so calm and logical. I figure you would know what to do.” She whispered hysterically. 

“Uh, oh. Okay, then. Are your menstrual cycles usually irregular?” Edd asked uncomfortably.

“No, I can pretty much set a clock with my uterus. The 17th of every month, usually in the morning.” 

“Well, aren’t you on some form of contraception?” 

“Me and Eddy have been...kinda lazy with the condoms recently. And I think my birth control implant expired. I got my dates mixed up. I meant to call my doctor but then I got busy and I forgot so I didn’t.” she seemed sheepish, like an embarrassed teen getting caught with her skirt up. 

“Have you taken a pregnancy test yet? That’s really the only way to know.” Edd said. 

“I have one in my purse. But I’m too fucking scared to take it. Jesus, Edd. What if I’m pregnant?” 

“Then you’ll be fine. You’d be a good mother, Nazz.” 

“What about Eddy?” 

“He would...do the right thing,” Edd said slowly, hoping to sound convincing. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how Eddy would react to an unplanned pregnancy. Eddy had made his views on parenthood, babies, and commitment fairly clear. 

“I don’t want a guy to be with me because ‘it’s the right thing to do’. I want him to be with me because he wants to be. Not because he knocked me up. Like my dad and mom did.” Nazz sighed and crossed her arms. 

“You won’t know until you take the test,” Edd said quietly. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Don’t tell, Kev, alright? Or Eddy. I’ll take the test tomorrow morning. I just had to tell someone.”

“I understand.” Edd nodded. “Would you like a hug?” 

“Yeah,” Nazz laughed and wiped tears from her eyes. In the middle of their embrace, Eddy walked in. 

“Damn, Sockhead. Moving in on my woman?” Eddy teased as he grabbed another beer from the fridge. 

“Ha, as if.” Nazz said weakly. Eddy, though not overly empathetic, noticed something was wrong. 

“Why are you crying?” Eddy asked sharply. “Edd, what happened?” 

“Nothing! I’m...excited! My cousin’s dog had puppies. Pureblood rotties.” Nazz covered smoothly. 

“Oh, fuck. You scared me, babe.” Eddy barked out a laugh. “We are so not getting a fucking puppy. Those things are adorable but way too needy and gross. If you want to clean someone’s shit off the floor I’ll invite Lumpy over, and get him drunk, feed him Taco Bell.” 

“How enticing.” Nazz scoffed and rolled her eyes. 

“You want a beer?” Eddy held one out to his girlfriend. 

“Oh, uh. No. Not tonight.” Nazz shook her head. 

“Why not? We always drink when we watch the game?” Eddy arched an eyebrow. 

“I encouraged her to try a Kale Juice Cleanse with me. Very healthy for your organs and digestive system.” Edd interjected. 

“Oh, damn. That’s gross. Enjoy your grass smoothies. More for me.” Eddy placed a kiss on Nazz’s mouth and went back to the living room. 

“Thanks, Double Dee.” Nazz smiled softly. 

“Of course, Nazz. Just please take care of this soon. I fear keeping secrets gives me horrible acid indigestion.” 

“Tomorrow morning,” Nazz promised. 

The next morning around seven, Edd hadn’t heard from Nazz but decided it was none of his concern. Beside him, Kevin was still dozing. Down the hall, Julia had yet to stir. Edd figured now would be the best time for him to start his laundry and accomplish some studying before the chaos of the day. Julia had the day off of school for Staff Development so Kevin and Edd took the day off to take her to the zoo. Their first family day since Edd moved in. Edd grabbed the laundry basket at the foot of  _ their  _ bed and puttered down the hall to the laundry machines kept in the garage. It was so odd for him to be washing tiny pink pajamas and large athletic shirts in addition to his own clothes. However odd it may have been, he found himself smiling as he applied stain remover to a grape jelly splotch on one of Julia’s t-shirts. Edd was muttering to himself as he left the laundry room and set up his Study Station at the dining room table. He didn’t know how long he had been there until he heard his phone buzz from beside him. It was Nazz. But he didn’t have time to read the message before he heard Julia calling for him from the living room. 

“Edd! Daddy!” her tiny voice brought him away from his studies. She sounded frantic so he quickly rose and went to the living room where she stood in her jammies with the front door wide open. 

“Julia! How many times have we told you not to open the front door without an adult present?” Edd scolded as he rounded the corner, not realizing who was standing there. 

“I know. But it’s a police officer asking for Daddy.” 

“Pardon?” Edd asked, looking at the man in the doorway. There stood Jackson Waters. Smiling down at Julia. From down the hall came Kevin, still ruffled by sleep, wearing only boxers. 

“What the hell is going on?” he asked. 

“Good morning.” Jackson said cheerfully. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kevin had never been more awake than at that moment.

 

**A/N: Well? Whatchu think?? I hope it lives up to the rest of the story. I'm a little rusty. However, I am taking votes on Nazz's situation. Pregnant or false alarm? Find out next time! Much love, Little Crickett.**


	21. Chapter 21

Ten awkward minutes later Julia was held tightly on Kevin’s lap. Kevin had pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. Julia was still wearing her purple kitten nightgown. Edd was hovering in the space between Kevin and Jackson. Jackson was sat on the couch across from Kevin and Julia. tightly clutching his phone. No one had spoken in two of those very tense minutes. Each person was warily eyeing the other, trying to scope out the situation. Even Julia, who wasn’t fully sure what was going on, followed Edd and Kevin’s lead and remained completely silent.

“To what do we owe this...visit?” Edd finally asked, his arms folded tightly across his chest.

“I wanted to see her,” Jackson said plainly as if this were a common occurrence. Him visiting his daughter and dropping in whenever he had the time.

“You can’t just do that. We’ve decided that she’s not ready for this. Or you. You can’t just show up out of the clear blue sky because you fricken’ want to!” Kevin snapped, trying to keep himself from squeezing Julia like a boa constrictor. Julia had frozen like a possum. She could count on one hand the number of times she had heard her father sound like this before. His tone of voice could liquify steel.  

“Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.” Jackson explained. 

“Who is he?” Julia whispered to Edd. Edd looked sideways to Kevin who subtly shook his head.

“I’m your dad, sweetie,” Jackson said kindly. The gentle tone of his voice dumped a sick feeling in Kevin’s stomach.  _ Your dad  _ should never have come out of this strangers mouth.

“No, you’re not.” Julia objected. “They are.” she jutted her thumb towards Kevin and then to Edd. Edd’s heart literally skipped a beat when she so casually claimed him as her own. Kevin was smirking slightly.

“I’m your  _ biological  _ father. I helped make you.” Jackson continued. 

“Oh. You’re  _ that  _ one.” Julia said sourly, the jagged pieces of this warped puzzle finally coming together. “You make them fight.” 

“Ah.” Edd cleared his throat, hoping Kevin would interject. 

“Jackson, while this is a very cheery family reunion. You still haven’t told us why you’re here.” Kevin snipped. 

“I wanted to see her before I left.” 

“You’re leaving?” Edd asked, not expecting the conversation to take that turn. 

“You’ve spent the last four months trying to tear my family apart, and now you’re just  _ leaving _ ?” Kevin too was aghast. 

“Not by choice. I’m not bailing. My wife was offered a position as a museum curator in Georgia. We’ve gotta take it. It’s better hours, salary, benefits...for  _ our  _ family.” Jackson looked sheepishly at the floor. He had just said out loud for the first time that his infant son was more important than the daughter he barely knew, and it stung even him to admit. 

“Well, good,” Edd said cooly and sat down beside Kevin and Julia. “You should never turn away from an opportunity that will better your life.” He pointedly placed a hand on Kevin’s knee. Kevin smirked at how subtly petty Edd could be. 

“I wanted to say goodbye,” Jackson said with a heavy sigh. 

“Goodbye,” Julia said sharply. Kevin tried to cover his grin. 

“It was good to see you, Julia.” Jackson smiled sadly. “You look just like her. She was funny. I bet you are too.” 

“I’m hilarious.” Julia deadpanned. This exchange nearly made Kevin double over with laughter.

“Anyways….when you’re older...maybe we can talk. I hope your dads’ will keep me updated on the brilliant human you’ll become.” Jackson began to leave. Politely, Edd followed him to the door and shook Jackson’s hand. 

“I will,” Edd promised in a hushed tone. “Once a year, on her birthday. I’ll email you pictures of Julia. As long as you never come near her again. Not until  _ she  _ reaches out to  _ you.  _ If she ever does. If you start sniffing around here like a hurt dog again, I swear to God,  _ Jack _ , you will regret it. I have friends in high positions. Kevin may be able to bruise you, but I can ruin your reputation as a respectable member of society.” 

“Uh, right. Okay. Once a year.” Jackson mumbled and left the house for the last time. 

“What was that all about, Dee?” Kevin asked once the door was latched. 

“Nimrod needed directions to the highway,” he said easily. “Would you two like to go out for breakfast?” 

 

Across town Nazz was making a mimosa in the kitchen, happily humming to herself. She woke up early, ran to the donut shop, and took the test in their bathroom. If it was good news, she could celebrate with donuts. If it was bad news, she could comfort with donuts. 

Negative. Minus sign. No pink positive. There wasn’t a tiny Eddy growing inside of her. Life could continue as normal. She wrapped the plastic stick in toilet paper and shoved it deep in the metal rectangle in the stall, never to see daylight again.

Eddy rounded the corner into his girlfriend's kitchen and smiled contentedly. This woman he had known for the better part of fifteen years. He had been pulling her pigtails, pushing her in the mud, irritating the piss out of her. Anything he could do to get a rise out of her. Make her notice him. In high school, he pulled mean pranks just to turn her head his way. He would screw around with her friends and never call them back, just so that she would hear his name in her inner circle of cheerleaders. He was a scruffy, rude, crude, blue-collar guy. She was a blonde, petite, kind, and funny, small-town prom queen. She could have gone anywhere, done anything, been with anyone. And yet here she was dancing to the radio and wearing nothing more than his t-shirt and a smile. Thank god for Tequila and bad decisions bringing them back together.

“I didn’t know we were day drinking.” Eddy laughed. 

“Why not? You’re only young once.” Nazz handed him the spiked juice in a large plastic cup. They kissed passionately and lazed about the house for the day, basking in what it felt like to be young, dumb, and 21. 


	22. Epilogue

**_Epilogue: 5 years later_ **

Samuel continued to cry from behind the closed door. Truthfully, the rest of the house felt close to tears too. Ten-year-old Julia was trying to focus on her spelling words while her baby brother refused to sleep. Kevin blankly stared at the phone in his hand, not actually being able to focus on anything but his baby boy’s anguish. Edd leaned against his son’s bedroom door, silently bargaining with the child to let sleep lull him. Samuel was teething, overly exhausted, and objecting to the idea of rest. After a lengthy discussion about the pros, cons, and potentially long-lasting psychologically damaging effects, Kevin and Edd agreed to try sleep training the baby. Letting him cry it out for a few minutes at a time. 

 

“Oh, for Christ's sake. Go get the baby!” Kevin finally shouted after ten minutes. 

“Thank god,” Julia muttered. 

“Language, young lady. But yes, thank God.” Edd sighed with relief. He twisted the doorknob and walked into seven-month-old Samuel Marion Barr’s room. The baby boy had pulled himself up on the crib and was bouncing on his tiny tippy toes in his blue footy pajamas. 

“Hello, handsome.” Edd cooed and scooped the now sniffling baby up. “Let’s go see, Daddy.” The pair walked down the hall and then curled on the couch beside Kevin, who took the baby from his husband and hugged him closely. 

“Did I cry that much?” Julia asked, joining her dads’ and brother on the couch. 

“No, no you did not.” Kevin chuckled. “You were an easy baby.” 

“Are you insinuating Samuel is difficult?” Edd said in mock hurt. 

“Sammy is infuriatingly charming with his many difficulties. Just like his Papa.” Kevin kissed Edd’s cheek. Sammy had dark curly hair and bright green eyes. His brows were always furrowed like he was carefully surveying every situation. He was a serious and studious baby.  But he also had the deepest baby belly laugh when it was truly earned. Loved his feet being tickled and couldn’t resist the jangly toy on his bouncer. 

Kevin and Edd married quietly at the courthouse on their one year anniversary. Only Julia was there, as their witness. No fuss, no muss. Much like the relationship they had. Kevin referred to it as a ‘very romantic paper signing’. His family was only disgruntled for a few days when it was revealed at a family dinner that they had been married. Aunt Robin let the wedding aspect go, but vowed to spoil any baby they had completely rotten, like a tooth that had never known fluoride.  Edd’s mother merely said  _ mazeltov  _ and the nuptials were never discussed again. After two years of saving up, a red-headed surrogate was selected, Edd’s sperm was harvested, and Samuel was conceived. ‘A very romantic laboratory baby.’ Edd had laughed. 

Julia was beside herself with pure joy when her baby brother was born a few months into her fourth-grade year. A baby sibling had been on her Christmas list for the last four years. She fell right into the role of a mother hen with Sammy. Changing diapers, giving bottles, taking too many pictures of him on her tablet. She adored him. He appeared to moderately tolerate her. After a few minutes of cuddling on the couch, Sammy was asleep in the crook of his daddy’s arm. 

“You want another one?” Edd teased, looking down at the chubby babe snoozing. 

“Oh, hell no.” Kevin laughed lightly. Then quickly stopped for fear of disrupting the baby.

“Pops? Can you quiz me? I’ve got that Spelling Bee on Friday. Winner gets a free pizza!” Julia handed her list of spelling words to Edd. 

“Of course.” Edd said with a smile. 

“I’m going to go put Bruiser to bed. Don’t have too much spelling fun without me.” Kevin said sarcastically. 

While the Barr family was settling in for the night, Nazz and Eddy were sitting in a mostly empty restaurant. It was approaching their six year anniversary. They lived together in a cozy one bedroom apartment with their two slobbering bulldogs. Eddy worked at a car dealership scamming gullible rich folk out of too much money because they didn’t care about their bank accounts. Just how shiny and fast their car was. Nazz still worked at a salon. Enjoying styling hair, doing nails, and getting paid to gossip with her favorite customers. Sitting in the dimly lit eatery, the couple humored the menu while knowing they were going to get the same thing they did every time. 

“Look at the specials, babe,” Eddy said, trying to sound like he couldn’t care less. 

“Eddy, really? It’s Wednesday. So, the special is their shrimp carbonara. We’ve been coming here for  _ years _ . I’m going to get the chicken alfredo and you’re going to get the ribeye.” Nazz laughed. 

“Just look at it, woman.” Eddy sighed, rolling his eyes. Nazz could never just do what was asked of her. She always had a rebuttal. It was her most exhausting, and most endearing, trait. 

“Fine, fine,” Nazz said with an equally large eyeroll. She flipped to the back of the menu and looked at the specials. In lieu of the typical daily dishes, there was a something written in a curly script. 

_ Natasha Pearl Van Bartonschmeer  _

_ This is where we had our first date _

_ And unlike these specials, you are never predictable. _

_ I can’t believe you’ve stayed with me for this long _

_ Will you marry me and stay just a bit longer?  _

“What the fuck, Edward Skipper Sampson? Did you  _ really  _ put my full name in print for everyone to see?” was the first thing she said as she put down the menu. Tears in her eyes, she saw her boyfriend with a gorgeous sapphire ring in his hand, extended out to her. 

“The best prank of all time. I was really just in this to out your birth name to the entire town. But only you have the menu with that particular special on it.” Eddy whispered with a grin, not sure why he was so nervous. 

“Well, now you’re stuck with me. Because no one else can ever know.” 

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, it’s a yes, you idiot.” Nazz laughed and threw her arms around her  _ fiance’s  _ neck. 

 

A short while later, while lying in bed watching an old movie with Kevin, Edd heard his phone ping. It was a text from Eddy. 

**Eddy: I did it Sockhead!**

**Edd: Congratulations, my friend! Welcome to the ‘boring old married people club’ as you so eloquently called it.**

**Eddy: Nah. We ain’t going to be like you two. It’s barely ten and you lameos are probz already in bed!**

**Edd: ...do not judge my lifestyle and I won’t judge yours.**

**Eddy: ;P gonna go seal the deal with some kinky birthday sex.**

**Edd: That poor woman is stuck with you for the rest of her life.**

**Eddy: right? Dumbest investment she’s ever made.**

**Edd: I hardly think so.**

 

“It appears that Nazz and Eddy are officially engaged,” Eddy said, putting his phone on the nightstand and snuggling into Kevin’s chest. 

“I know, I got the picture.” Kevin flashed his screen to Eddy. It was a snap of a beaming Nazz holding up her hand that was bestowed with a hefty blue jewel. 

“She looks happy.” Edd said with a smile. 

“She loves that idiot.” Kevin shook his head. 

“And that idiot loves her. They are good together.” Edd agreed. 

“You know what else is good?” Kevin purred and leaned his mouth down to kiss his husband deeply. From over the baby monitor, they heard Sammy begin to whimper before letting out a long wail. 

“Well, he has one thing in common with his sister.” 

“I’ll get him.” Edd sighed. 

“Love you, Double Dork.” Kevin said with a contented grin. Beautiful daughter, handsome son, amazing husband. Sometimes his life felt like an elaborate daydream crafted in his head instead of a reality he got to live in.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...there you go! The happy ending all tied up in a bow. Took me long enough! I really appreciate all of your love and support with this oddball story. I'm so glad you have enjoyed it. :D Maybe if you'd be interested I could continue the adventures of Edd, Kevin, Sammy, and Julia. Or we could just leave it at that.   
> As always, much love, Little Crickett


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